


Once Upon A Kik | Phan

by Willow_Angel



Series: YOU HAVE A MESSAGE [1]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Youtube RPF, youtube - Fandom
Genre: AU, AU - Messenger App, BoyxBoy, Chris and PJ are so cute, Dan has trouble acknowledging his feelings, Dorks in Love, Fluff, KickTheStickz - Freeform, M/M, Phan - Freeform, Phil is the human embodiment of sunshine, Romance, SO MUCH FLUFF, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, cross-posted from Wattpad, kik au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-26
Updated: 2016-12-06
Packaged: 2018-07-18 07:25:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 38,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7305094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Willow_Angel/pseuds/Willow_Angel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan didn't know what the heck possessed him to download kik onto his phone that day.</p>
<p>Nor did he know that downloading that app would do so much more than take up space on his phone.</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>Book One in the "YOU HAVE A MESSAGE" series.</p>
<p>Cross-posted from my Wattpad.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Ichi

**Author's Note:**

> Sup!  
> Welcome to my first Phanfiction! Seriously, this is the first one I ever wrote. Yup. And I'm posting it here from my Wattpad cause why not :D
> 
> This is dedicated to the lovely melodysplash (Wattpad) for being such a nice person, even when I'm the most socially awkward person to waltz the internet.  
> And because this was inspired by her story "Text Me Back", which is AWESOME.
> 
> *hands you free internet, a laptop and Maltesers and a Sharpie* Enjoy~ ^ω^

Dan didn't know what the heck possessed him to download kik onto his phone. Maybe it was because he found it easier to talk to people online - he actually hated human interaction, and he didn't really have any friends.

Which was just sad, good god. _Dan Howell_ , he told himself, _get a fucking life._

But as the app installed, he figured that he didn't have much to lose at this point. He would either make a couple of decent friends, or he would just have another app taking up gigabytes on his phone.

So, whatever, really.

He signed in with his regular username, danisnotonfire, and started exploring.

 _Oh god,_ he thought to himself. You actually had to search people up and initiate conversation.

Oh.

No.

Dan wasn't a very social person - scratch that, he was the most socially awkward person you could possibly meet. Ever. So initiating conversation wasn't exactly his forte.

So it scared the shit out of him when his phone buzzed twice, indicating that he had two new mesagges, and his heart rate picked up for some reason. Only to be disappointed when he saw it was a kik AI and something called Num Nums, which appeared to be a type of virtual pet.

Out of pure boredom, Dan went into the Num Nums game and started playing around. He fed his little creature, and found that you can send it to other people to interact with.

He tapped on this option, and chose a random person to send his pet to.

After about thirty seconds of figuring out that you can only do one thing, he exited the game and closed the app, sighing.

Well, that was a waste, wasn't it?

\---

It was about eleven o'clock on that boring Saturday evening, and Dan, having ignored his mother's nagging to go to sleep, was aimlessly browsing Tumblr and eating Maltesers, trying not to melt in the heat.

He shipped Dantesers so much.

His phone buzzed a couple of times, and he saw the kik symbol pop up in the notifications bar. He opened it, and saw that he had a message from someone new. Their profile picture was blurred, and there were two options down the bottom: chat and ignore. The message said:

**_AmazingPhil_ ** _: Hey :) you happen to be online?_

Dan raised his eyebrows, but clicked 'chat', because, why not?

The profile picture was instantly cleared up, and Dan tapped on it to get a better look. And his immediate thought was that this boy was gorgeous.

Black hair with a side fringe, not unlike Dan himself (although his hair was brown), startingly blue eyes and pale skin. He could go swimming in those eyes.

He decided to reply.

**_danisnotonfire_ ** _: yep. sup?_

The reply came almost immediately.

**_AmazingPhil_ ** _: Awesome! My name's Phil, by the way. Nice to meet you~ :D_

_**danisnotonfire** _ _: hi, my name's Dan. Nice to meet you too :)_

_**AmazingPhil** _ _: How are you today?_

_**danisnotonfire** _ _: pretty good, same as every night. trying not to melt, though._

_**AmazingPhil** _ _: Boiling for you too?_

_**danisnotonfire** _ _: yep. damn UK weather._

_**AmazingPhil** _ _: You're in the UK too?? Awesome!!! :D_

Dan couldn't help but grin.

**_danisnotonfire_ ** _: are you always this hyper around new people?_

**_AmazingPhil_ ** _: Yep ^.^_  
_Am I being too annoying??_  
_Oh god, I hope not._  
_I am so sorry, please tell me to be quiet at any stage._

_**danisnotonfire** _ _: calm down, it's okay. I'm socially awkward enough for the both of us :p_

_**AmazingPhil** _ _: Phew :P_

_**danisnotonfire** _ _: I am also terrible at keeping up conversation, so I apologise in advance._

_**AmazingPhil** _ _: No worries! You seem cool anyway, so if you don't reply I'll keep messaging you anyway~_

_**danisnotonfire** _ _: haha, fair enough. that'll probably work._

_**AmazingPhil** _ _: Awesome :D_  
_So what are you up to?_

_**danisnotonfire** _ _: tumblr and maltesers. you?_

_**AmazingPhil** _ _: Studying, Muse and talking to you ^ω^_

For a moment, Dan couldn't believe it. He had struck up conversation with a complete stranger, who actually seemed like he wanted to talk to him. Wow. _Wow_.

He didn't realise that he hadn't replied until his phone vibrated again.

**_AmazingPhil_ ** _: Dan? I will keep ny word._

_**danisnotonfire** _ _: sorry, I'm just contemplating life. What are you studying for?_

_**AmazingPhil** _ _: Why contemplate life when you can live it? Also, high school lit stuff. I have an exam in a couple of weeks._

_**danisnotonfire** _ _: (cause I don't have a life outside the internet) How old are you?_

_**AmazingPhil** _ _: Well said, the internet is amazing. And I'm 18. You?_

_**danisnotonfire** _ _: I would literally have no life without the internet. And I'm 17._

_**AmazingPhil** _ _: Without the internet we wouldn't be talking, would we?_  
_And that's awesome :D you're a year below me, I thought we were the same age XD_

_**danisnotonfire** _ _: true. and honestly, I thought you were about my age too :p_

_**AmazingPhil** _ _: Ah well ^~^_

_**danisnotonfire** _ _: I just remembered that you mentioned Muse earlier._

_**AmazingPhil** _ _: Yep, I love Muse! :D_

_**danisnotonfire** _ _: asdfghjkl FINALLY_

And the conversation continued from there, Tumblr forgotten. Dan and Phil talked for ages, and Dan didn't even bother to look at the time until he finally yawned.

**_danisnotonfire_ ** _: omg_

_**AmazingPhil** _ _: What??_

_**danisnotonfire** _ _: Phil. it's nearly 3am._

_**AmazingPhil** _ _: HOLY COW you're right!! That went quickly :P_

_**danisnotonfire** _ _: where oh where did the time go?_

_**AmazingPhil** _ _: The past._

_**danisnotonfire** _ _: stfu._

_**AmazingPhil** _ _: Dan! Don't swear! :c_

_**danisnotonfire** _ _: ;)_

_**AmazingPhil** _ _: I should probably sleep, I'm going out with a couple of friends tomorrow afternoon._  
_Well, this afternoon, technically._

_**danisnotonfire** _ _: ok :c_

_**AmazingPhil** _ _: Sorry!_

_**danisnotonfire** _ _: nah, I should probably sleep too._  
_Thanks, though._

_**AmazingPhil** _ _: For what? :)_

_**danisnotonfire** _ _: for actually talking to me._

_**AmazingPhil** _ _: What does that mean? :/_

_**danisnotonfire** _ _: I've never really had a best friend before._

_**AmazingPhil** _ _: Aww!_  
_But we're friends, right?_  
_Can we be?_  
_Please? ^ω^_

_**danisnotonfire** _ _: sure, why not?_

_**AmazingPhil** _ _: YAY_  
_You seem like a really nice person, Dan :) did you have fun tonight?_

_**danisnotonfire** _ _: this was the most fun I've ever had._

_**AmazingPhil** _ _: Awesome! Same here :D_  
_Now, I really have to sleep, I can barely keep my eyes open._  
_Talk later? :)_

_**danisnotonfire** _ _: that would be awesome :)_

_**AmazingPhil** _ _: It would. Goodnight Dan~ ^-^_

_**danisnotonfire** _ _: night Phil :)_

Dan locked his phone and put it on his bedside table, a grin plastered on his face. He put his laptop and Maltesers away (after eating one last chocolate) and rolled over on his bed. Even if it was someone he would likely never meet, and the conversation would probably die out quickly, knowing Dan's luck. But he felt that maybe he had finally found someone who shares his obsession with Tumblr, anime and Muse.

Soon enough, he fell asleep, still smiling. Needless to say, brilliant blue eyes filled his dreams that night.


	2. Ni

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the second chapter! I don't have much to say, so I hope you enjoy~ :D

When Dan woke up, it was of his own accord, which was strange. Something normally would have happened to wake him up - his mother or father bursting in, or his little brother's TV shows playing loudly through the walls.  
At least Dan had the sense to wear headphones.  
But this morning, it was completely silent. Not even the TV was on with the morning news that his mother liked to watch, while his father read the newspaper as he ate breakfast.  
He reached over and switched on his phone to check the time. 10:47am. Good god, he slept in a lot - but talking to someone on kik until 3 in the morning would probably do that to you.  
Speaking of which, he saw the kik icon in his notifications and grinned. When he opened the app and saw that it was a message from Phil, he grinned wider.

_36 minutes ago:_  
**_AmazingPhil_ ** _: Morning! Hope you slept well :)_

Dan responded immediately.

_**danisnotonfire** _ _: morning! I slept in way too long, sorry :p and yeah, I did, thanks :) you?_

Switching off his phone, he managed to crawl out of bed and pull on a shirt, and headed downstairs in the unnatural silence. When he got to the kitchen, there was a note on the bench.

_Dan,_  
_The three of us went into town for a little bit - you were fast asleep when I came in! I decided to let you sleep in today =)_  
_We'll be back sometime after noon, so please don't blow the house up =)_  
_\- Mum xx_

Dan smiled. He had the whole house to himself for two hours, give or take.  
He was still most likely to browse Tumblr, eat junk food and procrastinate during this time, though, like any other Sunday.  
Then his phone vibrated.

**_AmazingPhil_ ** _: Good morning, sleepyhead! And I slept wonderfully, thank you ^~^_  
_And we all need a sleep in sometimes, no worries :P_

_**danisnotonfire** _ _: I sleep too much sometimes. I was debating whether or not to get out of bed at all today, honestly._

_**AmazingPhil** _ _: Are you up?_

_**danisnotonfire** _ _: well, I had to find out why my house was completely silent, so yep._

_**AmazingPhil** _ _: Well, my house is haunted, so I think I win._

_**danisnotonfire** _ _: fair enough. my parents and little brother went into town, so I have the house to myself for a couple of hours :p_

_**AmazingPhil** _ _: Awesome! My parents are both at work, and my older brother moved out last year, so I'm usually alone in this house._  
_It's so creepy. I seriously think this place is haunted sometimes._

_**danisnotonfire** _ _: how is it haunted?_

_**AmazingPhil** _ _: Creaky floorboards and doors, old photos on the walls, inexplicable noises in the middle of the night..._

_**danisnotonfire** _ _: oh. fair enough._  
_I'm terrified of paranormal stuff, to be honest._

_**AmazingPhil** _ _: I reccomend you don't live in this house, then._

_**danisnotonfire** _ _: I'll take your word for it._

_**AmazingPhil** _ _: That's probably a good idea._

Dan didn't know how to respond to that, so he awkwardly put hos phone down and hunted around for some cereal.  
He sat down at the dining table with his bowl of cereal and looked at his phone, almost wishing that Phil would message him again. He wouldn't give up on Dan that quickly, would he? Like most other people did when they tried to engage him in conversation.  
The fact that Dan was possibly the most socially awkward person to walk the Earth made school very difficult for him. He wasn't bullied, aside from the occasional "emo" comment that he always got, he just wasn't generally liked. Probably because of the fact that he always wore black or grey, never initiated conversation and always sat in the back corner. He'd gotten used to it.  
And as if some unknown force had heard his wish, his phone vibrated again. And again. And kept going.

**_AmazingPhil_ ** _: Dan?_  
_I hope you haven't fallen asleep again._  
_Daaaaaan?_  
_I will keep my word~_  
_You're not getting rid of me, Dan~_  
_Dan?_

Dan grinned, and typed out a reply before Phil started worrying.

**_danisnotonfire_ ** _: calm down, Phil, I was making breakfast :p_

_**AmazingPhil** _ _: Oh good._

_**danisnotonfire** _ _: besides, I told you, I'm too socially awkward to keep up normal conversation._

_**AmazingPhil** _ _: That's what I'm here for :)_

_**danisnotonfire** _ _: someone had to take up the challenge eventually._

_**AmazingPhil** _ _: I accept your challenge._

_**danisnotonfire** _ _: good luck ;)_

_**AmazingPhil** _ _: I shall try my best~_

_**danisnotonfire** _ _: I won't be offended if you decide to eventually stop talking to me, btw._

_**AmazingPhil** _ _: Are you serious???_

_**danisnotonfire** _ _: ...yes?_

_**AmazingPhil** _ _: Dan. The only time I wouldn't talk to you is where I genuinely wasn't allowed to use my phone._  
_We talked for so long last night, it's kinda like I know you already :) and from what you're saying, it sounds like you need a friend :D_  
_The only thing I don't know about you is what you look like, tbh. You haven't set a profile picture yet._  
_Dan?_  
_I can see that you're reading these. Come on, answer me._  
_Daaaaaaan??_  
_Daaaaaaaaaaaaaan???_

Dan stared at his phone in shock. Someone he had only talked to for about four hours in total, that he hadn't even met in real life seemed like he genuinely wanted to be his friend.  
What kind of angel _was_ Phil, anyway?

**_danisnotonfire_ ** _: are you serious, Phil?_

**_AmazingPhil_ ** _: I am being totally serious, Dan. You're a really nice person and I really like you, and I really want to be your friend._  
_From what I can gather, it seems like you don't really have any close friends, and I want to be that friend for you :)_  
_As cheesy as that may sound, it's true._  
_And I can't really scold you for thinking that cause I don't even know your full name._  
_Dan, please answer me._  
_Dan, trust me, please._

And the funny thing was, Dan _did_ trust him. He'd never even met the guy, and he trusted him so much already.  
Dan grinned, and went into his kik settings, choosing the least cringe-worthy photo of himself he had on his phone and setting it as his profile picture, before returning to the chat with Phil, who was still messaging him.

**_AmazingPhil_ ** _: Dan._  
_Seriously._  
_Daaaan._  
_I will spam you._  
_I have no problem with spamming you._  
_I am being totally serious right now._  
_Danny, please don't ignore me. I also hope you don't mind me calling you that._  
_I never go back on my word, Dan._

Dan hesitated for a second before replying.

**_danisnotonfire_ ** _: Daniel Howell._  
_that's my full name._  
_I definitely prefer Dan over Daniel, though._

_**AmazingPhil** _ _: Yay, Danny's back~ also, that's a new one on me, I've never seen that last name before. I like it :D_

_**danisnotonfire** _ _: thanks :)_  
_your turn, too._

_**AmazingPhil** _ _: Phillip Lester, nice to meet you._  
_I prefer Phil, though. Only my grandma calls me Phillip anymore._

_**danisnotonfire** _ _: fair enough. I only get called Daniel when I'm in trouble._

_**AmazingPhil** _ _: Your picture looks nice, too :D_  
_If I'm being perfectly honest, you're even more good-looking than I imagined :P_  
_We have matching fringes~ XD_

_**danisnotonfire** _ _: thanks. you're pretty good yourself ;p_

_**AmazingPhil** _ _: Why thank you, Dan :)_

_**danisnotonfire** _ _: You're very welcome, Phil._  
_Thank you too._

_**AmazingPhil** _ _: You're welcome ^.^_

For the first time in his life, Dan felt like he had finally made a best friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! :D


	3. San

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Chapter three! :D 
> 
> And here we welcome two more of our favourite YouTubers into the mix :D
> 
> I hope you enjoy~ :)

Dan and Phil happily spent the next hour and a half aimlessly talking about the most random deal they could think of. They swapped stories about their favourite Pokemon, animes, talked some more about their mutual obsession with Muse, and a bunch of other things.

It went on and on, and Dan was enjoying every message.

And he also may or may not have been developing a slight crush on Phil. But there was no way that he could be crushing on Phil, they hadn't even been talking for 24 hours.  
But he still felt happier talking to Phil than he had ever been in his life.

_**AmazingPhil** _ _: Oh, jeez..._

**_danisnotonfire_ ** _: what?_

**_AmazingPhil_ ** _: Um, I'll be back in a few, one of my friends is calling me._

**_danisnotonfire_ ** _: k :)_

Dan switched off his phone, chucking it on the couch beside him. He was laying on his back, slightly uncomfortably due to the strange couch, and a baking show was quietly playing in the background. Not that he was paying attention to it, of course.

He closed his eyes and put his hands behind his head, relaxing.

But those beautiful blue eyes were imprinted into his mind. And he never once tried to stop it.

Until he realised that Phil was most likely straight. _Good going, Dan,_ he told himself.

He had started to doze off when his phone vibrated again.

_**AmazingPhil** _ _: Well, half of my afternoon plans have been rearranged._

**_danisnotonfire_ ** _: what's up?_

**_AmazingPhil_ ** _: One of my friends called me and said they're sick, so our day in town's been cancelled, seeing as their boyfriend refuses to leave their side :P_

**_danisnotonfire_ ** _: aww, that's cute XD_

**_AmazingPhil_ ** _: I know, right? They've been inseparable for as long as I can remember, and they started dating a couple of years ago._

**_danisnotonfire_ ** _: that is definitely cute._

Phil didn't reply for a few moments, which was strange for him. When Phil finally typed, it was something that made Dan begin to worry slightly.

_**AmazingPhil** _ _: Hey, Dan? Can I ask you something?_

**_danisnotonfire_ ** _: ask away._

**_AmazingPhil_ ** _: ...you're not homophobic, are you?_

Dan raised his eyebrows and began chewing on his lip, debating whether or not to tell Phil about the small battle going on in his head.

_**AmazingPhil** _ _: Dan?_

He decided to go for it.

_**danisnotonfire** _ _: what? no! of course not. I'm bisexual myself, actually._

**_AmazingPhil_ ** _: Really! Thank god._

**_danisnotonfire_ ** _: you don't mind?_

**_AmazingPhil_ ** _: Of course not! I'm bi too, y'know :P_

Dan stared.

Holy crap.

Holy shit.

Maybe he had a bit of a chance after all.

 _Stop it, Dan!_ he yelled furiously at himself. _You barely know the guy!_

_**danisnotonfire** _ _: that's cool :p why'd you ask?_

**_AmazingPhil_ ** _: Just because the two people I mentioned just before are both guys. Chris and PJ._

**_danisnotonfire_ ** _: that's totally fine, trust me :)_

**_AmazingPhil_ ** _: That's a relief ^-^_  
_I've just come across a few homophobes in my life. Not very nice people._  
_I haven't been bullied or anything like that, but I've just seen how a few of them act around a same-sex couple just walking down the street._

**_danisnotonfire_ ** _: I wouldn't know, tbh. I don't interact with other human beings much (going back to how I have no life outside the internet)_

**_AmazingPhil_ ** _: And I repeat, without the internet, we woulsnt be talking, would we?_

**_danisnotonfire_ ** _: in that case, I am incredibly glad about the internet._

**_AmazingPhil_ ** _: You and me both :)_

**_danisnotonfire_ ** _: so, have any newly formed plans for this afternoon now that Chris and PJ bailed?_

**_AmazingPhil_ ** _: I'm still working on that. Probably more studying and Tumblr._

**_danisnotonfire_ ** _: the day that I study will be the day the world implodes._

**_AmazingPhil_ ** _: You shouldn't be like that D:_

**_danisnotonfire_ ** _: I am a failure at basic human function, do you expect me to study?_

**_AmazingPhil_ ** _: You're not a fail, Dan, you're amazing._

For some reason, this made Dan smile like an idiot, all while little butterflies danced around in his stomach.

_**danisnotonfire** _ _: who am I now, AmazingDan? :p_

**_AmazingPhil_ ** _: In that case, what does that make me, Philisnotonfire? XD_

**_danisnotonfire_ ** _: you're a goof, Phil :p_

**_AmazingPhil_ ** _: Same to you, Dan ^~^_

**_danisnotonfire_ ** _: and here is another example of the end of a conversation when I don't know what to say._

**_AmazingPhil_ ** _: No worries! Let me think of another conversation :P_

**_danisnotonfire_ ** _: I'm sure you of all people can manage that._

**_AmazingPhil_ ** _: I hope I can, otherwise my name isn't Phil Lester (as Chris would say in this situation) ^-^_

**_danisnotonfire_ ** _: he sounds cool :p_

**_AmazingPhil_ ** _: He is, and PJ too!_  
_I think they have kik, if you want to meet them :)_

**_danisnotonfire_ ** _: maybe. I'm still getting over the fact that I'm holding up a conversation with a stranger._

**_AmazingPhil_ ** _: We're not strangers anymore, Dan!_  
_Not to me, at least :)_

Inexplicably, butterflies started to dance in Dan's stomach.

_**danisnotonfire** _ _: in that case, not to me either :)_

**_AmazingPhil_ ** _: I really like you, Dan :) I mean, I know that we haven't even talked to each other for 24 hours, but you're possibly the closest thing I've had to a best friend._  
_Even with Chris and PJ, I always feel like I'm third wheeling._  
_I guess I am, in a way, but still, I hope you get my point._  
_Oh god, I'm making a fool of myself._  
_Dan?_

Dan was staring at his phone, at the messages that Phil kept sending him.

This was like a fanfiction that was just going _way_ too fast.

_**AmazingPhil** _ _: Oh god._  
_I hope I didn't scare you away._  
_Dan?_  
_Danny???_  
_Daaaan?????_  
_Please come back._  
_Dan._  
_As creepy as it may have sounded, I meant every word of that._  
_Dan, you're reading these, I can see._  
_Dan._  
_Please._  
_Dan!_

**_danisnotonfire_ ** _: it's okay, I'm okay, nothing happened._  
_I'm just not used to this, is all. Nobody's ever said that to me, is all._

**_AmazingPhil_ ** _: Nobody?! Really???_  
_I don't believe that._

**_danisnotonfire_ ** _: Nup, it's true._

**_AmazingPhil_ ** _: Wow._  
_I have lost faith in humankind._

**_danisnotonfire_ ** _: nah. I'm not that special._

**_AmazingPhil_ ** _: Bullshit._

**_danisnotonfire_ ** _: omg._

**_AmazingPhil_ ** _: What?_

**_danisnotonfire_ ** _: did you just swear?_

**_AmazingPhil_ ** _: It seemed appropriate._

**_danisnotonfire_ ** _: PHIL SWORE OMFG_

**_AmazingPhil_ ** _: Dan!_

Dan laughed out loud

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	4. Shii

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELCOME TO CHAPTER SHII!
> 
> This one is dedicated to my best mate, Tayne, for his constant support, whether it be with my writing or my YouTube channel (*shameless self-promo: channel's called "Willow Angel"*) or just life in general.  
> You can find him on YouTube, his channel is called "magetime29 & co". He's an amazing guy.
> 
> I'm also really enjoying writing this story, and I hope you guys like it too!
> 
> Well, I hope you enjoy the chapter :)

For a while more, this random conversation kept up, with Phil picking new conversations whenever Dan couldn't pick one. He picked the randomest topics ever, and he always seemed to know what to say. He always knew what topics to pick that would make Dan laugh and make him feel better. 

Dan was starting to think that Phil was the human embodiment of sunshine, which greatly contrasted Dan, who considered himself the human embodiment of Winnie the Pooh.

Definitely not as good as sunshine; who would ever like a guy like Dan?

Phil, apparently. Which was new.

Who wouldn't ever like a guy like Phil?

 _Nobody_. Because Phil somehow knew exactly how to make people feel good about themselves.

And Dan loved that feeling.

_**AmazingPhil:** I'll be right back, PJ's messaging me._

_**danisnotonfire:** cool :)_

And so he waited. And he couldn't help but stare at the chat, reading the last few messages.

Then he tapped onto Phil's profile picture. It was just one of him grinning at the camera, his tongue slightly poking out of the side of his mouth. It was, quite frankly, absolutely freaking adorable.

Now that Dan looked closely, he could see that Phil's skin was really pale, contrasting to Dan's slightly more tanned skin. His eyes were very, very blue, whilst Dan's were a murky sort of brown. Phil's hair was jet black, and styled in a side fringe to the right side of his face; Dan's hair was brown, ever so slightly lighter than his eyes, and he had a side fringe to the left.

In other words, Dan was a cool-kid wannabe and Phil was absolutely gorgeous.

Then his phone vibrated, pulling him down to Earth with a start.

_**AmazingPhil:** Well, Chris isn't any better, but he's playing Mario Kart, so apparently he's not too bad. PJ refuses to leave._

_**danisnotonfire:** aww XD_

_**AmazingPhil:** And now he's asking me who the heck I'm talking to. I usually reply to people right away._

_**danisnotonfire:** that you do._

There was a pause for a few minutes.

 __ **AmazingPhil:** He says he wants to talk to you. Is that okay?  
Chris is apparently jumping up and down, too. Figuratively, as his headache is apparently huge.  
Chris can be even more hyper than I an when talking to new people, so don't say I didn't warn you.  
Dan?

_**danisnotonfire:** yeah, I'm here._

_**AmazingPhil:** Do you want to talk to them? You can say no._

_**danisnotonfire:** just let me process the fact that three people now want to actually talk to me._

_**AmazingPhil:** Of course! Why wouldn't they?_

_**danisnotonfire:** ...because I'm the most ordinary and socially awkward person to ever walk the Earth?_

_**AmazingPhil:** How many times do I have to repeat myself...  
So do you want to talk to them or not? Only a simple yes or no is required._

Dan bit his lip. Not only was Phil talking to him, but he was saying that two other people actually wanted to talk to him.

He was having a bit of trouble processing this one.

But he decided to go for it. He wouldn't be surprised if they decided to drop him, anyway.

_**danisnotonfire:** sure. why not._

_**AmazingPhil:** Yay~_

He couldn't help it - he giggled at that one. Somehow, it warmed his heart to see that small text, showing that Phil was happy. It made him happy.

Just like the texts Phil sent that were directed at Dan, the ones that made him feel like he was worth something. That maybe his life wasn't just some big, long existential crisis after all.

His phone vibrated with a new chat.

_**AmazingPhil:** Dan, meet Chris and PJ. Chris, PJ, meet Dan._

_**danisnotonfire:** uh, hi?_

_**crabstickz:** HAI PHIL'S FRIEND DAN  
ME BE CHRIS_

_**KickThePj:** Chris Kendall I swear to god._

_**AmazingPhil:** Please calm down, Chris._

_**crabstickz:** sorry  
(not really)_

_**KickThePj:** Please excuse Chris, Dan. He's a bit hyper._

_**crabstickz:** you love me, Peej._

_KickThePj: I do, but that doesn't change the fact that you're hyper._

_**crabstickz:** true._

Dan couldn't help but grin at the two new people. This was three more people than the amount that would normally talk to him, and he was still computing that.

But it felt nice.

_**danisnotonfire:** I am just a little bit overwhelmed._

_**AmazingPhil:** Sorry about that._

_**danisnotonfire:** nah, it's fine.  
still having a bit of trouble processing this one, though._

_**AmazingPhil:** For goodness' sake, Dan._

_**KickThePj:** I'm sorry about Chris. My name's PJ Ligouri, nice to meet you :)_

_**danisnotonfire:** no worries. I'm Dan Howell, btw. good to meet you, too._

_**crabstickz:** Chris Kendall at your service *le bow*_

_**AmazingPhil:** Really, Chris?_

_**crabstickz:** yeup._

_**AmazingPhil:** See what I mean, Dan?_

_**danisnotonfire:** not really just yet._

_**AmazingPhil:** You will :)_

_**crabstickz:** oooooohhhh..._

_**AmazingPhil:** CHRIS KENDALL_

_**crabstickz:** has Philly got an internet boyfriend??????? :D  
'bout time, bro._

_**AmazingPhil:** CHRIS_

_**KickThePj:** Chris, stop. Please._

Dan stared. He could feel the heat slowly rising into his face.

Internet... boyfriend?

So many things were happening at once, he could barely keep up.

_**crabstickz:** Daaaaan D:_

_**danisnotonfire:** yeah?_

_**crabsrickz:** Peej just hit me over the head DX_

_**AmazingPhil:** PJ!!!_

_**KickThePj:** He had it coming._

_**danisnotonfire:** I will decline to comment._

_**AmazingPhil:** That's probably a good idea._

_**KickThePj:** Definitely._

_**crabstickz:** but Peej ily~ why'd you hit me??? ;-;_

_**KickThePj:** I love you too, but I hit you cause you were being a doof._

_**crabstickz:** but that's exactly what you love about me._

_**KickThePj:** That is true._

_**AmazingPhil:** See, Dan?_

_**danisnotonfire:** yep._

_**KickThePj:** See what?_

_**crabstickz:** see whAT???????_

_**AmazingPhil:** I told him already that you guys were dating._

_**crabstickz:** GOOD cause ain't NOBODY stealin my Peej!!!  >:(_

_**KickThePj:** Nobody is stealing me, Chris._

_**AmazingPhil:** He's all yours ^-^_

_**danisnotonfire:** wouldn't dream of it._

_**crabstickz:** good._

_**KickThePj:** Now that that's settled..._

_**crabstickz:** so Danny, what's up with you and Philly over here? :3_

_**AmazingPhil:** Chris! D:_

Dan's phone vibrated off the handle, and he noticed that there was a separate message from both Phil and PJ. He decided to go into Phil's first, in case he worried too much.

_**AmazingPhil:** I'm really sorry about Chris, Dan. He's a good friend and he's really fun to be around, but sometimes he pushes unnecessarily. You really don't have to answer any weird questions._

Dan smiled. He couldn't help but feel happy that Phil was worried about him.

_**danisnotonfire:** it's okay, but thanks :) I'm just not used to this, is all._

_**AmazingPhil:** Don't worry, the three of us will fix that soon enough ^-^_

_**danisnotonfire:** I'm both worried and not worried._

_**AmazingPhil:** Don't be :)_

_**danisnotonfire:** thanks :)_

_**AmazingPhil:** Anytime ^-^_

Dan went into Pj's chat next, where there were a few messages waiting for him.

 __ **KickThePj:** Hey Dan. I just wanted to apologise about Chris. I mean, he's normally hyper, but being sick has raised the bar a little. So sorry about that.  
I'm also trusting Phil's word that you're not homophobic, because Chris and I have been dating for nearly four months now. Just wanted to get that out of the way.  
But Phil seems to really like you, Dan, so I hope Chris doesn't scare you off or anything.  
Phil also told me that you're not really good with conversation (sorry if that's wrong), but between him and Chris, we'd never run out of conversation, so I hope you stick around :)

 __ **danisnotonfire:** thanks. let me try to reply appropriately.  
Chris is fine, really, I'm just not used to people actually wanting to talk to me. I'm not a social person, is all.  
and yeah, Phil told me that you guys are dating and that's perfectly fine. I'm bi myself, so of course I don't mind.  
as for Phil "really liking me", well, I really like him too, and I'm really hoping that my awkwardness doesn't scare HIM off.

As soon as he pressed send on that last reply, he froze.

_Shit shit shit shit shit...!_

Did he really just say that?!?

_**KickThePj:** Good thing about Chris, then.  
And to be honest, I've never heard Phil talk as excitedly about anyone as he has about you in the past day. It's both comforting and strange._

_**danisnotonfire:** how much did he talk about me? and strange how?_

__**KickThePj:** A lot. Definitely a lot. Every second sentence, a lot.  
And strange because this is just different. Not because you're strange.  
Phil's just never talked about someone this much before.

_**danisnotonfire:** ...I don't even know what to say._

_**KickThePj:** You don't have to say anything, I just wanted to let you know.  
You seem like a nice enough person, Dan. I'm glad Phil's found you. I think he kinda needs you. Maybe in the way that I need Chris, or maybe not. I can't see the future. Just, thank you._

Dan definitely felt the blush on his face now. PJ certainly had a way with words.

_**danisnotonfire:** that's good, I guess. because I think that I need Phil, too._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! :D


	5. Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter five GO!
> 
> Get it? Because "Go" is 5 in Japanese...? Okay, okay, I'll stop.
> 
> Thanks for getting this far! It means the world to me :D I hope you enjoy this chapter ^~^

_"I think that I need Phil too."_

As soon as Dan hit send, he knew that those words were true. He realised that over the time that he had been talking to Phil (which, as he kept reminding himself, hadn't even reached the 24-hour mark yet), he'd always been eagerly, even anxiously awaiting a response from the boy. He felt like he'd known Phil for his whole life, like they were old friends who were picking up conversation where they left off a couple of days ago. Not like Phil was some random stranger that had messaged him on kik at eleven o'clock on a Saturday night.

He knew at once that he really, truly needed Phil like he'd never needed anyone before. Even Phil had said that they were like best friends already, and Dan felt truly happy for once.

Either that, or he was just so desperate for a friend, and he was putting his trust in a complete stranger because of it.

No. He pushed that thought out of his mind and returned to the phone, which was still vibrating like mad.

_**KickThePj:** I see..._  
_Yes, I definitely see where Phil is coming from. I can already tell that you'll be good for Phil, whether it be as friends or more. From what I can tell, he seems really happy when he talks about you. Thank you for that._  
_But you'd better not break his heart, or all hell will break loose, I can promise you that._

Yes, Dan was sure that he was both blushing and grinning like an idiot by this point. Not that he cared, by this point. All he had to be careful about was his family coming home.

Speaking of which, what was the time? He realised he hadn't checked.

It had just gone noon.

He had already been on kik for _over an hour??_ Wow. Time flies.

And his family could get home at any moment, so he decided to finally get off his butt and retreat to his bedroom, where at least he would have some advance warning as to when the front door opened, typing as he went.

He didn't really have a reason as to why he was practically pouring his heart out to PJ, he just seemed trustworthy enough. And experienced in these matters.

_**danisnotonfire:** there's no need to thank me. seeing as I'm the most boring person on the planet, I don't know why he's so excited. but in a way, I'm glad he is.  
if that makes any sense whatsoever._

_**KickThePj:** Well, you don't seem boring, and from what Phil's said, you two have a lot in common._  
_He, Chris and I have been great friends for as long as I can remember, but he's different from us in a lot of ways. I think it's great that he's found someone with similar interests to him, because I think he needs someone like you._  
_He's also described you as "amazing" and "really, really good-looking", so that's also a plus on your behalf._

Dan froze halfway up the stairs, putting a hand on the railing to steady himself.

His brain was not working.

There was no way this was happening.

This was a dream.

This had to be a dream.

But it wasn't - he knew it wasn't.

He told his legs to keep moving, and all of a sudden he was racing up the stairs and running into his room, slamming the door behind him.

He looked down at his phone again.

_**KickThePj:** And yes, I think I do need to thank you. Because you've made Phil happier than I've ever heard._  
_I haven't seen him in person since you two started talking, but I can see in the messages he sent me that he's really happy. Even when I called him earlier, there was something in his voice as he told me about you. So yes, I do need to thank you._  
_I'm running out of intelligent words, so I'll try to calm down Chris again :)_

Dan slowly made his way over to his bed and sat down. He felt his eyes prickle, and he chucked his phone away and pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes.

He would not cry.

He would not.

But he knew that they would be happy tears, because this was the happiest he had felt in a long time.

His phone was still vibrating like mad, so he picked it up. He saw that the group chat was mainly Phil and Chris still bickering, with the occasional message from PJ apologising.

_**AmazingPhil:** Chris, it's not like that and you know it._

_**crabstickz:** yeeaaaa, but who knows at this stage, right?_

_**AmazingPhil:** CHRIS_

_**KickThePj:** He is not calming down._

_**crabstickz:** NOOOO NEVERRRRRR_

_**KickThePj:** I'll be right back, I'm going to get him some drowsy headache pills._

_**crabstickz:** noooOOOOoooOOoOoo_

_**KickThePj:** Yep._

_**AmazingPhil:** Yes, thank you..._

Dan laughed. Maybe now things would settle a little.

He noticed that there were separate messages from Chris and Phil this time, and he went into Chris' first.

_**crabstickz:** hokay, Danny-boy, I really gotta know before Peej comes back. is there or is there not something between you and Philly._

Dan rolled his eyes, but couldn't help the blush. His face was probably like a tomato by now.

_**danisnotonfire:** we haven't even been talking for 24 hours. no, nothing._

_**crabstickz:** okay then._

_**danisnotonfire:** why are you so interested?_

_**crabstickz:** I am purely just looking out for Phil. he's my best mate._

_**danisnotonfire:** if you insist._

_**crabstickz:** believe me, good sir, I do.  
but hey, you seem alright, so I think we'll all get along just fine ;)_

_**danisnotonfire:** sure, thanks :)_

_**crabstickz:** fuck, Peej's back. gotta go.  
I really hope he mixed up the drowsy with the non-drowsy._

_**danisnotonfire:** good luck with that :p_

Chris didn't respond after that, so Dan went into Phil's chat, where messages were still coming in every once in a while.

 **AmazingPhil:** Yes, Chris can be a pain sometimes, and I am really really sorry.  
Okay, a lot of the time.  
PJ can usually keep him under control, though, so I wouldn't worry too much.  
I am so sorry if he weirded you out, because he can do that sometimes...  
Dan?  
You still here?

_**danisnotonfire:** I'm here._

_**AmazingPhil:** That's good, I was getting worried._

_**danisnotonfire:** why?_

_**AmazingPhil:** Because Chris doesn't always have a good effect on people, and I don't want to think that I lost a friend._

_**danisnotonfire:** no, I meant why me? why did you decide to talk to me, of all people?  
I don't think I deserve to have someone like you in my life._

_**AmazingPhil:** Everyone deserves a friend in their life, Dan. You said that you've never had a best friend before, and that hurts because you're a really good person and you definitely deserve one, out of all the people in the world.  
If you still don't believe me then I will actually track you down, break the door down and tell you in person._

_**danisnotonfire:** you didn't answer the first question. why did you decide to talk to me?_

_**AmazingPhil:** As dumb as it sounds... You know that virtual pet you get on kik? Well, you sent that to me. I guess I just wanted to say hi.  
That was the best decision I've made in a long time, I won't lie._

Dan couldn't hold it back now. He felt the tears rolling down his cheeks and he desperately tried to wipe them away. Needless to say, it didn't work.

But they were happy tears. And it had been a long time since he'd been so happy he'd cried.

Now not only was he blushing like mad, he was grinning like an idiot and crying. 

 _Pull yourself together, Dan,_ he told himself. _They could be home any second._

_**danisnotonfire:** thank you. so much._

**AmazingPhil:** No need to thank me :) You of all people deserve it.  
Uh oh.  
My brother has the worst timing in the world.  
I have to go for a little while, so I'll talk to you later?

Yes. Oh yes. Definitely yes. Nothing would make Dan happier than to spend the rest of his life talking to Phil. He wanted nothing else from the world.

But of course he didn't say that.

_**danisnotonfire:** is that even a question? of course!_

_**AmazingPhil:** Awesome! I don't know how long I'll be, is all._

_**danisnotonfire:** don't worry, I'll be right here when you get back :)_

_**AmazingPhil:** Yay~  
Talk later :)_

_**danisnotonfire:** absolutely :) seeya :)_

By this stage, there was absolutely no denying that Phil truly was amazing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! :D


	6. Roku

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I just wanted to say that in no way, shape or form will depression, anxiety or anything of the sort come into this story. Although there will be the occasional weird thoughts that everyone has such as "What does he even see in me?", nothing overly depressing will happen. No cutting, no suicidal thoughts, nobody dying (not much of a spoiler, I love my fluff). Just wanted to say that here.  
> There may be a few minor cases of homophobia later on, but nothing overly major. (Still not much of a spoiler). And there will be ANGST and ANGRY PEOPLE but hey, that's probably all.
> 
> Well, I hope you enjoy this chapter :D

Dan chucked the phone on the bed as he lay on his back. He put his hands behind his head and started up at the ceiling, trying to think of something, _anything_ , other than Phil.

Perfect timing for the front door of Dan's house to open and then loudly slam a few seconds later.

"Dan?" his mother quietly called up the stairs. Dan chose not to answer. He heard his little brother thumping up the stairs and the door to the room next to his crash open and slam shut again.

"Dan?" His mother knocked on the door and gently opened it.

He looked sideways over to her. "Afternoon," he said.

She smiled and let herself in, closing the door behind her. "Morning, sleepyhead," she teased. "Sleep well?"

Of course he did, with those beautiful blue eyes haunting his dreams-

"Yeah," he said nonchalantly.

She raised an eyebrow as she came over to Dan's bed. "What time did you go to sleep?"

No use lying. He trusted his mother, anyway. "About three," he replied.

His mother sat down on the bed, shaking her head. "Tumblr again?" she asked.

Well, at least Dan had a mother who knew what Tumblr was, even if she wasn't an internet-obsessed person like he was. "No."

This time, both eyebrows went up. "So, what was it?"

"An app called kik, where you can make conversation with random strangers," Dan began, then stopped. How much did he want to tell?

 _Oh, please._ He had to tell someone, or he'd explode.

His mother smiled - she knew how awkward Dan was when it came to actually talking to people. "How did that go for you?"

Dan felt heat rising to his cheeks and he looked away. His mother laughed. "That well, huh?" She teased, poking his arm.

"Shut up," he mumbled. But he secretly wanted her to ask questions, because he wanted to tell someone.

"Who's the lucky lady?" His mother's grin fell when she saw Dan tense up. "Dan?" she asked, her brows furrowing in concern. "What's wrong?"

This time, he felt the blood rushing from his face. Of course she would assume that he was talking about a girl. He sat up and pulled himself into a position where he could lean against the wall. "Well, the thing is..." he began, unsure where to go. Then he sighed. Best to get it over with. "It's a guy. Mum, I'm bisexual."

There was a pause for a few seconds where his mother studied him, and Dan felt the pressure in his chest. He was tense and his hands were gripping his bedclothes so tight that his knuckles where white. Then his mother smiled, and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Why are you so tense? It's fine," she said. "I love you, no matter who you fall in love with."

The weight lifted, the pressure released and his muscles relaxed. His mother then pulled him into a tight hug, and he fell into it. He hugged her back, and they stayed like that for a little while.  
When she finally pulled away, she brushed at Dan's cheeks, and he realised that he had started crying. He furiously wiped at his eyes, relieved. 

"Thank you," he said.

He was surprised when his mother laughed. "There's no need to thank me, Dan, it doesn't matter. Really!"

Dan only had time to smile before she launched into relentless interrogation.

"What's his name?"

"Phil. Phil Lester." He liked Phil's name. It somehow suited him; he looked like a Phil.

"How old is he?"

"Eighteen."

"Not too old then, that's good. Where does he live?" 

"England somewhere."

"Ooh, you might be able to meet him someday!"

"I hope so." And he really did. He wanted to see Phil with his own eyes and touch him and make sure that he was actually real, and that he wasn't fantasizing over someone that never existed.

Because that might just shatter him into a million tiny pieces.

"What does he look like?"

This was the question that brought the heat rushing back to Dan's face. When he looked over and saw his mother eyeing him expectantly, he smiled and said, "He is absolutely gorgeous."

She clapped her hands. "Show me!" she demanded, and he picked up his phone, unlocking it and going into kik. He tapped onto Phil's profile picture and handed it over. She took the phone and studied the picture, a grin growing on her face. "He's cute," she commented, nodding. "Yep, you're right. He is stunning." She looked up, slightly dismayed. "Why couldn't I get one that looked like that?"

Dan laughed as she grinned again. He had an awesome mother.

She handed back his phone, and he looked again at the last few happy messages they had exchanged. "He's actually amazing, Mum," Dan sighed. "He's like the first best friend I've ever had, and we haven't even been talking that long. But as soon as we started talking, I found out that we have so much in common and we share so many interests and it's really amazing. I feel like I've known him for years. I'm not sure what's happening, but I honestly don't know what I'd do if he stopped messaging me." He ran a hand through his hair and looked up at the ceiling again. "I'm obsessed with a boy I've never met. It's pathetic."

His mother smiled. "I've already established that you definitely have a huge crush on this boy. This boy that you've never met." She joined him in looking at the ceiling. "You are so cute, Dan."

"Shut up," he mumbled again.

She chuckled. "Hey," she said softly. "You know what I think?"

He looked at her to find her intensely staring at him with wise eyes. "What?" he asked.

"I think that it's better to take a chance and regret it than to never take a chance at all and regret it later," she said simply.

Now it was Dan's turn to stare. Maybe she was right. Maybe he should take a chance on Phil. Maybe he should allow this crush on the gorgeous boy because hell, he was already in way over his head.

His mother gave a small smile. "Because it sounds like you need this boy," she continued.

He nodded. His mother had said it to him, PJ had said it to him, he'd said it to himself: he needed Phil. "I do," he agreed. "I really do."

Breaking the moment, his phone vibrated, making them both jump. And again. Suddenly it was going off the hook. Dan's mother raised an eyebrow, and Dan realised that it was Chris spamming the group chat. He couldn't help but grin.

"Is it him?" his mother asked.

Dan shook his head. "Nah, it's Chris, one of Phil's friends. He introduced me to Chris and PJ this morning. They're really cool."

He quickly scanned the messages.

_**crabstickz:** noOooOOooOO i refuse to give into the power of pills!!!!!!$%+$)@? &#+@)#-  
NEVERRRRRR_

_**KickThePj:** I apologise on Chris' behalf._

Following was a series of silly pictures. Dan laughed, and quickly typed a message.

_**danisnotonfire:** Chris, what the fuck is all this?_

He became aware that his mother was reading over his shoulder and giggling.

_**crabstickz:** Daaaaaaaaannyyyyy~~~~~  
Oh, this is my spam before the pills kick in. Peej got the drowsy ones and forced me to take them._

_**danisnotonfire:** so you are rebelling against the power of medicine?_

_**crabstickz:** YESSSssSSSsSSSsss_

_**danisnotonfire:** I see_

_**KickThePj:** I made sure to get the drowsy ones. God knows he needs them._

_**crabstickz:** I hate you, Peej.  
but i love you, Peej._

_**KickThePj:** I love you too. Now sleep._

Chris didn't reply after that.

"Are those two a couple?" his mother inquired from his shoulder, and he nodded. "They seem cute together."

"They've been dating for a few months now," Dan explained.

"What about Phil?"

Dan blushed again. "Bloody hell, Mum," he muttered. When she didn't answer, he sighed again. "He's bi, too."

She clapped her hands. "Oh, this is exciting!" she exclaimed.

_**KickThePj:** I took Chris' phone off him and switched it off, so now he has to sleep.  
I'm gonna go too, bye Dan :)_

_**danisnotonfire:** seeya :)_

Dan locked his phone. His mother was grinning.

"Now," she said, clasping her hands together and sitting them in her lap.

"Yes?" Dan asked.

"Tell me everything about this boy!" she exclaimed, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Dan raised his eyebrows. "'This boy'-" he air quoted "-has a name, you know," he said.

She rolled her eyes. "Okay then. Tell me everything about Phil," she amended.

It was Dan's turn to roll his eyes, but he was grinning like an idiot.

And just like that, he launched into the tale.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! :D


	7. Shichi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is somewhat based off my real-life thoughts and experiences? I guess?
> 
> Welp, I hope you enjoy :D

Dan's mother listened intently to every word he said. She listened to him talk about how he and "AmazingPhil" started talking, about how Phil made Dan feel _good_ about himself for a change.

About how Dan felt happy whenever he thought about the boy on kik. He even showed her some of the messages that Phil had sent him that made him feel that way.

 _Good god, this is cheesy._ Under normal circumstances, he would have internally cringed slightly, but this was a nice kind of cheesy. He liked it.

When he'd finished, his face was like a tomato and his heart was beating at a million miles an hour.

When his mother was silent for a moment, he began pulling at his hair.

"Mum," he muttered. "I don't know what the fuck is going on with me."

"Daniel," his mother scolded, smacking him lightly over the shoulder. "No need for that language." Dan rolled his eyes, bringing his knees up to his chest and resting his head in his arms, and groaned.

She hummed softly as she thought. Dan recognised the tune: a soft and gentle melody, one of the first songs he'd learned to play on the piano. She'd sung it to him as a child, to help him fall asleep. He'd decided to secretly learn to play it for her. She nearly cried when he showed her the first time. He remembered that fondly.

"Well," she began quietly, and Dan looked up. "Since he's said all that to you..." She trailed off, biting her lip, one of the habits that Dan had picked up on.

"Yeah...?" Dan asked uncertainly. Where was she going with this?

She sighed, and then broke into a wide grin. "If he really means those texts, then he feels the same way about you that you do about him. That's so cute!" She nearly squealed in her excitement.

"Mum, please," Dan said. "Be serious for a minute."

"I am," she insisted. But she sighed again when she saw Dan's face. She waved her hand. "Fine. Serious. Are you falling in love with this boy?"

Dan faltered. Was he? No. He definitely had a crush, but he wasn't in love with Phil. Yet.

 _Yet._ He blushed just thinking about it.

"No," he said honestly. "I don't really know. This is all new to me."

Which was true. Sure, he'd had a couple of girlfriends that he'd really liked at the time, but nobody had made him feel like... _this_. Whatever "this" was, anyway.

His mother smiled knowingly and hummed her agreement. "I understand completely," she assured him. She looked out of the window, a gentle, faraway look in her eyes. "I'd had a fair few boyfriends by the time I met your father, but he made me feel happier and safer than any of them did. I fell for him hard and fast." She looked sideways at him. "It's possible," she said. "Falling in love so quickly, I mean. It happened to me, and it's happened to a lot of other people."

"So I'm not going crazy?" Dan asked, a spark of hope in his chest. Maybe he _did_ have a chance, a _real_ chance.

She laughed. "No, not at all!"

Dan sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "So what do I do?" he asked.

His mother shrugged. "Ask if he has Skype, maybe?" she suggested. "Unless you don't want to rush it."

Dan bit his lip. "Tomorrow, maybe," he decided. "If this is still going on."

She smiled and put an arm sound his shoulders, pulling him into a one-armed hug. "It will be," she insisted. "I'm sure of it."

Dan buried his face into her shoulder. "I sure as hell hope so," he muttered.

They stayed like that before she raised another question. "When do you plan to come out to your father and brother?"

Dan froze, and his mother's grip on him tightened. "It's okay," she said soothingly. "No pressure."

"I don't know how Dad will react," Dan said, worrying thoughts crowding his mind.

What would his father do?

What would he think?

Is he homophobic?

What would his brother do?

Would they cringe?

Would they be disgusted?

Would his father disown him? And how would his mother react to that?

His mind was racing and his breathing became quicker and shallower. He felt his hands clench into fists.

His mother gasped and pulled him into a tighter hug, shushing him gently, rubbing his back. He had gone from a high thinking about Phil to a low thinking about coming out.

"Shh, honey," his mother whispered in his ear. "It's okay. It's okay. I promise. I won't let him do anything to you, if it comes to that. I will always love you."  
Dan bit back a sob.

The two of them stayed like that for a bit, with Dan trying to pull himself together and his mother helping him along the way.

They both jumped when Dan's phone vibrated. Dan wiped at his eyes and picked up the phone, his heart lifting when he saw the kik icon in his notifications bar. A small smile broke out on his face. He opened it up, and his smile broke into a grin when he saw Phil's message.

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _Daaaaaaaaannyyyyyyy I'm back~ :D_

Dan's mother giggled. "Here's the lucky man," she said.

Dan rolled his eyes.

**_AmazingPhil:_ ** _Miss me? :3_

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _of course :p_  
_what would I do without you, Phil? :p_

**_AmazingPhil:_ ** _..._  
_Not be AmazingDan, that's for sure._

Dan laughed.

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _and you would not be philisnotonfire._

**_AmazingPhil:_ ** _Sure wouldn't! :P_  
_Well, I'm not going anywhere, so you're stuck with me ^-^_

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _tbh rn I wouldn't have it any other way, Phil._

**_AmazingPhil:_ ** _Me neither, Dan :)_

Dan felt his heart warm in his chest. This felt right, somehow.

When he voiced this to his mother, she smiled and nodded, before sliding off the bed.

"I'll leave you two alone now," she said with a wink, and Dan blushed.

"Y-you won't tell Dad, will you?" he stammered.

She shook her head. "When you're ready, we can talk to them together, if you like. If it makes it easier. But only when you're ready, and not before. I promise."

Dan smiled. "Thank you."

She smiled again, before turning and walking out, shutting the door gently behind her.

Yes. This definitely felt right.

So he decided to be perfectly honest with Phil.

**_AmazingPhil_ ** **_:_ ** _Dan? You there?_

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _right here. just thinking, is all._

**_AmazingPhil:_ ** _What about?_

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _you, mostly. and my family._

**_AmazingPhil:_ ** _I'm flattered ^-^_  
_Is everything okay with your family?_

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _I think so, considering that I just came out to my mum._

**_AmazingPhil:_ ** _Yay! I'm so proud of you, Danny! :D_

Dan blushed at the nickname.

**_AmazingPhil_ ** _: How'd it go? :)_

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _she took it really well! honestly, I'm not sure what I was expecting, but she doesn't care. it feels good._

**_AmazingPhil:_ ** _It does, doesn't it? I came out a few years back and most people have really supported me. It feels great to be accepted._

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _you're telling me._  
_I'm just worried about my dad and my little brother. my dad's always seemed uncomfortable when something like that comes up in conversation, but he's never said anything outright homophobic. and I'm not sure my little brother even knows what any of it means._

**_AmazingPhil:_ ** _Well, whatever happens, I'm always here for you, Dan :)_  
_Please remember that._

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _I will, I promise._  
_and you know when I said that I was thinking about you?_

**_AmazingPhil:_ ** _Yeah?_

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _I was thinking about how talking to you feels like the only right thing in the world right now._

When it showed that his message had been read, it was a moment before Phil started typing again. By this time, terrible scenarios had already filled Dan's brain.

None of them had the response he got.

**_AmazingPhil:_ ** _You know what?_  
_I was just thinking the exact same thing._  
_Because this somehow feels right._  
_I can't really explain it, but it does, somehow._  
_I hope this is making some sense, because I don't know how to say it any differently :/_

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _trust me, it makes sense._

**_AmazingPhil:_ ** _Hey, Dan?_

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _yeah?_

**_AmazingPhil:_ ** _This may be a bit sudden, but do you have Skype?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! :D


	8. Hachi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one might be slightly shorter, but hey, what the hell.  
> I really hope I did okay on that one :/ I had a bit of trouble writing it. Nevertheless, I hope you enjoy :D

Well, there went his plan to ask tomorrow. But as he stared at the message, something in the back of his head told him that whatever would make Phil happy, Dan would do. He knew that. Somehow, he trusted Phil more than he trusted anyone, and that both elated him and terrified him. He bit his lip as he replied.

**_danisnotonfire_ ** **_:_ ** _sure._

**_AmazingPhil_ ** **_:_ ** _Would it be alright if I call you?_  
_Part of me just wants to make sure that you're actually real, as silly as that may sound._  
_I really hope that doesn't sound silly :/_

Dan couldn't help but grin at that. It didn't really sound silly, seeing as he wanted to make sure that Phil was real, too.

_**danisnotonfire** _ **_:_ ** _absolutely. I kinda wanna make sure you're real too, so no worries :p_

**_AmazingPhil_ ** **_:_ ** _Well, that's good. I don't want to sound like a creep or anything._

**_danisnotonfire_ ** **_:_ ** _if anyone's gonna sound like a creep, it'll probably be me._

**_AmazingPhil_ ** **_:_ ** _No way, you're the opposite of a creep._  
_Now, what's your Skype name?_

Dan picked up his phone and walked over to his desk, where his laptop sat. He opened it and turned it on, replying to Phil as it loaded.

_**danisnotonfire** _ **_:_ ** _you obviously haven't seen my Twitter stalking skills._  
_and my Skype is just my name, Dan Howell._  
_Has a picture of me, too, because I'm not sure how many Dan Howells there are on Skype :p_

**_AmazingPhil_ ** **_:_ ** _Somehow I believe you on that one XD_  
_Awesome :D I'll add you :)_  
_Mine is just Phil Lester, by the way :P_

**_danisnotonfire_ ** **_:_ ** _cool :) I'm just waiting for my laptop to boot up._

**_AmazingPhil_ ** **_:_ ** _No worries ^-^ I can wait :)_  
_I'm honestly not sure how long I can wait, but I can :)_

Dan laughed, and realised that his laptop was at the login screen. He entered his password and sat back again to wait some more.

_**danisnotonfire** _ **_:_ ** _my laptop is so damn slow sometimes._  
_probably because I let it go flat by accident and it switched off._  
_oops._

**_AmazingPhil_ ** **_:_ ** _Haha XD Somehow, my laptop always lasts. Don't know how, but it does :P_  
_I just sent you a message, too :)_  
_And scratch what I said earlier, I can't wait._

**_danisnotonfire_ ** **_:_ ** _awesome :) let me load it up, and I'll be with you in a few._  
_and me neither :p_

**_AmazingPhil_ ** **_:_ ** _Awesome :D_

Dan loaded up Skype and logged in, aware that his leg was bouncing up and down involuntarily. No matter what he did, he couldn't get it to stop.

Yeah, he was incredibly nervous. But excited at the same time. He bit his lip again as his stomach churned.

Even though it had been less than a day that the two had actually been talking, Dan felt like it had been ages, and he was finally going to get to talk to Phil after so long.

 _Dan Howell,_ he told himself. _Pull yourself together or you are going to fuck this up. Badly._

He saw that he had a notification from Phil Lester, asking to be in his contacts list. He grinned as he accepted, and he waited.

His phone vibrated a few seconds later.

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _Yay~ :D_  
_Can I call you now? :)_  
_Sorry, I'm impatient sometimes :P_

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _one sec, just let me grab my headphones._  
_and don't worry about it :)_

**_AmazingPhil:_ ** _Sure :)_

After some hunting around on the ever-so-slightly messy desk - okay, it was a _really_ messy desk - he found his ear buds under a book. Confused as to how they managed to get under the book in the first place, he plugged them in.

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _okay, all good :)_

**_AmazingPhil:_ ** _Awesome :D_  
_Also, my internet isn't the best internet of all time, so sorry if it takes a little while to connect._

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _no worries :) I can wait._

Okay, that was a big fat lie, but he wasn't going to tell Phil that.

Phil didn't reply after that, and Dan was left with his leg still bouncing up and down, waiting for the Skype call. He subconsciously adjusted his hair in the reflection of his laptop, and made sure his eyes didn't show that he'd been crying earlier.

Hair was decent, and his eyes showed nothing. Good enough.

He jumped when the Skype call sound started playing. He tried - and failed - to calm his racing heart as he accepted the call.

And after a couple of seconds, the beautiful face of Phil Lester filled his screen.

"Hi," Dan said, slightly breathless.

"Hey!" Phil greeted, with a little wave.

Dan's face broke out into a grin. Phil's voice was amazing. It was definitely English, and had a bit of a northern tone to it. It was like music, and that was even through the crappy Skype audio.

"So, turns out I wasn't being trolled," Dan found himself saying, still grinning like an idiot.

Phil laughed, and Dan felt like melting, and not just from the heat. He also noticed that Phil's tongue stuck out of the side of his mouth a little.

"Same, to be honest," Phil replied. "I was a little worried, I'll admit."

"Me too," Dan said. Because if you weren't real I would have broken, he added in his head. Not that he'd ever have the guts to say that out loud.

"Well," Phil began. "Hi, I guess. It's good to finally talk to you, Dan."

Dan found that he loved the way Phil said his name.

Dear god, what next? Was he going to swoon?

"You too, Phil," Dan replied. They fell into silence for a few minutes as they studied each other through their screens.

Dan took this opportunity to examine Phil's face properly. Well, as well as the grainy webcam that Phil had would allow. And as he had established from Phil's profile picture on kik, he was absolutely gorgeous. He felt like he couldn't say it, or think it, enough.

Then he realised that he was probably staring at Phil like a creep. He smiled and looked down at his hands, which were clasped together on the desk.

"I'm sorry," he apologised. "I'm not very good with conversation."

"Hey, no worries," Phil said, and when Dan looked up he saw a cute and gentle little smile on the boy's face. "Like I've said, that's what I'm here for."

Dan smiled. "Thanks."

Phil's smile grew wider, and he started asking small questions, such as his favourite colour and what his middle name was. Just the small questions at first, before slowly moving onto bigger questions.

And before he knew it, Dan was completely absorbed in conversation, like he never had been before. He found himself completely happy talking to Phil, happy like he never had been before. The type of happy that made butterflies dance in his stomach and had him constantly grinning like a psychopath or something. The type of happy that nothing could ever ruin.

And he knew that.

Phil knew exactly how to calm him down, and how to help Dan feel comfortable talking to him. Dan felt like he could tell Phil anything and he would be able to trust the boy.

Yep, this had definitely not helped his crush on Phil. But he was perfectly fine with that.

Then they were arguing over what their favourite video games were, and which Super Smash Bros character was the best.

And then they were laughing at each other's awkward childhood stories.

And Dan felt truly at peace.

A couple of hours later, Dan excused himself to go to the bathroom as he wondered where the time went. He muted his mic and turned off his camera, but didn't hang up. He heard Phil start humming a cheerful little song as he walked away, and Dan smiled.

He was quick in the bathroom, but he paused to look at himself in the mirror hanging over the sink.  
Even to himself, he looked happy. He sighed. His mother was right about him, and about Phil.

He was falling hard and fast for this boy, and there was no stopping it.


	9. Kyuu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, this chapter is based off my own thoughts and experiences, and maybe has some advice? I guess?
> 
> Hope you enjoy :D

When Dan returned to the laptop, he saw Phil leaning back in his chair, typing at his phone. He looked so... at peace. It was adorable. So, with the knowledge that the camera and mic was turned off, he couldn't help but just stare, without the worry of being judged as some creepy kid who likes to stare at this cute boy on his computer screen.

Dan liked everything that he knew about Phil, the little things as well as the big.

The way that his tongue poked out of the side of his mouth when he laughed.

The way that he regularly adjusted his hair so it wasn't hanging over his eyes.

The way that his hair, jet black, contrasted his ghostly pale skin.

And he loved the fact that Phil's eyes were so blue he felt he could go swimming. And without the fear of drowning, because somehow he knew that Phil would be there to hold him up if need be.

But most of all, he loved the feeling of safe he felt.

He thought that if he met Phil in real life, the mental list of things he loved about him would just get bigger. He smiled at the thought.

Phil grinned, and Dan's phone vibrated. He walked over to the desk and picked up his phone. And, of course, it was kik.

Smiling, he opened the app and began reading through the messages.

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _Can I please say that this is amazing, Dan? Talking to you, I mean._  
_That you're amazing?_  
_Because you are. In every way._  
_Your smile._  
_Your laugh._  
_The cute dimples you have._  
_And I'm probably going to be super embarrassed when you read these, but right now I don't care._  
_I may or may not regret these later, but hey._  
_They're all true. I swear to god (that may or may not exist) that I am not lying at all._  
_I'm not sure how long you're actually going to be, so hopefully you don't come back when I'm typing one of these._  
_Oh no. That would just be embarrassing XD_  
_Well, I'll stop now. :)_  
_Hopefully Chris doesn't steal my phone and somehow get into these messages, cause I do not want to have that conversation._  
_< 3_

Dan smiled. This boy knew how to work his way into Dan's heart.

Maybe his mother was right. Maybe.

Hopefully.

He sat down at his desk and switched on the camera and mic again, putting his ear buds back in as he waited for the camera to start again. Good god, he needed a new laptop. Or a MacBook. Phil was humming a little tune as he looked at something below the camera angle.

When his camera turned on again he gave a little wave and Phil looked up, a huge grin breaking out on his face.

"Welcome back, Dan," he greeted.

"Thanks," Dan replied with a grin. "I hope I didn't take too long."

Phil shook his head. "No, don't worry." Then he looked down slightly, and when Dan looked closely, he could have sworn that he saw pink on Phil's cheeks. But then again, that might have just been his overactive imagination.

"You okay?" Dan found himself asking.

Phil looked up, a sheepish sort of smile on his face. "Yeah," he answered. "I'm grand."

Dan grinned. "That's good, then," he said. Phil laughed softly, and looked down again. Dan mentally slapped himself.

 _Good social skills, Dan,_ he yelled at his brain. _Find something to talk about!_

He found his thoughts drifting to the previous conversations of the day, and a thought struck him.

"Hey," he asked. "Can I ask you something?"

Phil looked up, surprised. "Sure," he replied, an encouraging smile on his face. "What's up?"

Dan chewed his lip. "Um, this may be a bit personal..." he began uncertainly.

Phil was still smiling. "Hey, it's no worries," he said. "Ask away."

Dan sighed. "How did you come out as bi? I'm having a bit of trouble, is all."

Phil chuckled. "You of all people can ask me that, don't worry." Then he thought for a moment, as Dan registered his relief. "How did I come out?" Phil repeated, then shrugged. "I guess I just did. I just told my parents and my brother that I needed to talk to them. We all sat down in the lounge and I told them that I was bisexual. Just like that." Then he smiled as he recounted. "I started to tell them that yes, I like both boys and girls and no, that doesn't change who I am at all, but I couldn't finish because my brother attacked me in a headlock. He then proceeded to scruff my hair up while my parents were laughing their heads off. Then we sort of had a big group family hug thing and it was over. No harm done." He grinned, and Dan smiled along with the story.

"I'm glad it turned out that way for you," Dan said. "You deserve a family like that."

"Thank you. And you deserve a family like that too, Dan. You deserve the best." Phil looked so genuine as he said that, that Dan truly began to wonder whether this was all a dream and Phil was too good to be true.

"Thank you," Dan replied, smiling.

"How are you going with it?" Phil asked kindly.

Dan bit his lip. "Well, I just told my mum, as I said, but that's it so far," he said.

"Can I ask what happened?" Phil asked, and Dan grinned.

"Hey, you can ask that, no worries," he said. "You of all people." Phil laughed, and the butterflies danced in Dan's stomach again. Dan thought back, and recounted the events to Phil, who listened intently, smiling.

"Your mother sounds really nice!" he said when Dan finished.

"She is," Dan agreed. "I was really worried about what would happen if she didn't approve."

"Then hell would have been set loose, that's for sure," Phil said sternly.

Dan furrowed his brow, confused. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"I mean, I would have tracked you down and given her a piece of my mind," Phil said, then smiled. "Then I would have taken you out for ice-cream."

"Ice-cream?"

Phil held up his hands. "Nobody can be sad with ice-cream, it's a fact of life."

Dan smiled. "Too true."

Phil smiled to match Dan. "What about the rest of your family?"

Dan's smile fell slightly. "I don't really know," he said. "As I mentioned earlier on kik, I don't think my dad's homophobic as such, but he doesn't really seem comfortable with the idea of the possibility that his kids might be gay, or bisexual in my case. I'm not really sure why that is, but I'm a little worried."

Phil nodded as he thought for a moment. "Maybe it's because he's never met an LGBT person before?" he suggested. "It's possible that he just doesn't know how the whole thing works because he's never met a gay or bi person." He shrugged. "Just a thought."

Dan thought about this for a moment. It was entirely possible.

"Maybe," he murmured.

"Maybe it's best to test the waters a little, and maybe bring up some LGBT topics and see how he reacts?" Phil offered. "Or if you don't feel comfortable with it, maybe ask your mum to do it?"

Dan smiled. "That's a good idea," he said. "Thank you."

Phil smiled too, and it seemed to brighten up Dan's entire day, even through the grainy computer screen. "Anytime," he said. "And I mean that."

"I guess you're called AmazingPhil for a good reason, then," Dan found himself saying before he could stop himself, and he blushed.

Phil laughed gently, and he fiddled with the end of his ebony hair, almost nervously, and his cheeks seemed to tint pink again. Dan decided that a blushing Phil was way too cute for the world to handle.

"I hope so, at least," Phil mumbled. "There have been times where I wasn't sure, with Chris and PJ especially."

"What do you mean?" Dan asked softly.

Phil sighed. "I dunno," he said. "Sometimes it's like their little world is perfect to them whenever we're all together, and I'm just stuck on the outside. It's hard to explain. Even before they started dating, it's always kinda been like that. I mean, they're great friends and I wouldn't give them up for anything, but occasionally it's like I'm just tagging along." He rested his head in one hand. "That probably made no sense at all, I'm sorry."

"No, it's okay," Dan replied. "It made sense, I guess. I can't really relate because I've never really had any close friends to begin with."

Phil straightened. "No way. No way!" he exclaimed, and Dan nodded.

"I've always been the one that awkwardly sits in the corner alone," Dan explained. "I guess I weirded them all out ages ago. I've never been good with holding up normal conversation, so eventually people stopped bothering."

Phil threw up his hands. "Faith in humankind is officially lost. I can't believe this!"

Dan opened his mouth to speak, but Phil held up his hand, silencing him.

Phil dropped his hand again. "I... I don't even know what to say," he managed to stutter.

Dan shrugged. "It's okay," he said. "Talking to you has been the most fun I've had in a long time. This is fine."

Phil smiled, shaking his head. "Me too, Dan," he said. "Me too."

Then there was a knock on Dan's door, and he turned, taking one earbud out. It was his mother, who poked her head around the door. "Dan?" she said in a sing-song sort of voice.

"What's up, Mum?" he asked simply.

She smiled. "Just wanted to tell you that dinner's almost ready," she answered. "Your father's cooking tonight. Can I come in?"

"Sure." Dan was completely aware that Phil was watching and listening to everything that was happening. And as much as he knew that his mother and Phil would get along, a part of him just wanted to keep Phil all to himself.

 _Is that selfish?_ he wondered.

He saw Phil wave out of the corner of his eye. "Dan," he said, "take your headphones off so I can say hi."

Dan grinned as he obliged, and chucked them on the desk. "Mum, this is Phil," he introduced them. "Phil, this is my mum."

Phil waved again. "Hi, Mrs Howell!" he said.

Dan's mother smiled. "It's very nice to meet you, Phil," she replied. "And please, call me Ann."

Phil nodded. "Nice to meet you too, Ann." Then he smiled brightly, even more than he already was. "Thank you, too," he said.

"For what," Ann asked, raising an eyebrow.

"For accepting Dan," he continued simply. "He deserves someone like you."

Ann smiled. "There's no need to thank me for that," she said, waving a hand in dismissal. "It's perfectly fine. He deserves someone like you, too, you know."

Dan felt his face go bright red and he turned away from the camera to prevent Phil seeing. He glared at his mother, who almost looked surprised.

"What?" she asked.

"Mum," Dan said through his teeth. "Shut up."

She grinned. "Sorry," she giggled, bringing up a hand to cover her mouth. She glanced over at Phil, and suddenly looked like she could barely contain her laughter. "Phil's gone red, too," she whispered. "This is perfect."

Dan buried his face in his hands. "Mum, please," he mumbled.

Ann burst out into laughter.


	10. Juu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER TEN! WOOHOO! This is the longest story I've ever written, ahaha XD  
> This chapter is a little bit shorter, sorry :P
> 
> I hope you enjoy :D

A little while after that embarrassing ordeal, Dan's little brother had poked his head into Dan's room, squeaking out, "Dad says dinner's ready!" before running off again.

Ann had smiled and bid Phil goodbye as she hurried after the little brother to make sure he didn't blow up the kitchen or dining room in his race for food.

Dan shook his head, grinning like an idiot, and turned back to Phil. "My family is a little crazy," he admitted, and Phil threw back his head as he laughed. Dan loved the sound of that laugh - he could listen to it forever. He wanted to.

He mentally hit his head against a wall. _Dan, shut up,_ he yelled at himself. _This is not the time!_

Definitely not the time, especially when Phil could _see him._

"If you think that's crazy, then you don't want to meet my family," he giggled, his tongue poking out the side of his mouth again, which was one of the most adorable things ever - if it wasn't, then Dan didn't know what was. "Especially my brother Martyn, he's nuts."

Dan laughed. "I'm sorry I have to go," he said, his smile falling slightly. "I don't want to."

Phil smiled, almost sadly. "I don't want you to go," he responded, but then waved a hand in the air, his cheerful nature returning. "But dinner with your family is important, so go," he said brightly. "I think I'll be eating soon, too."

Dan smiled. "I'll message you when I get back," he promised, and he meant it.

Phil nodded. "I will, too. Bye!"

"Seeya," Dan replied, and reluctantly ended the call, and closing the laptop.  
He sat back for a minute and sighed. What was this boy doing to him?

Phil was driving him wild.

Down in the dining room, Dan's father looked up and smiled as Dan walked in and took his usual place at the table.

"Did you have a good day, Dan?" he asked, picking up his knife and fork.

Dan grinned and nodded. "Yeah, thanks," he replied. "Have a good day in town?"  
But before Dan's father could respond, his little brother did first.

"It was awesome!" he nearly yelled, gaining a glare from Ann. "Sorry," he said, before launching into the tales of the day.

Turns out they had gone all out in their shopping, buying every little thing they did or didn't need - mostly Ann's fault, which she guiltily admitted with a sheepish smile and a shrug.

Dan listened indifferently, nodding when appropriate and occasionally adding to the conversation, but his mind was elsewhere.

And when Ann caught him staring into space, he knew that she knew what exactly he was thinking about. He continued to eat, determined not to blush. He wasn't sure if it worked or not.

_Please don't let me blush, this is not the time, no, Dan, don't blush you little-_

"So, Dan," his little brother piped up, bringing him out of his fantasies. "Who were you talking to earlier?"

Dan froze. "Pardon?" He saw Ann roll her eyes beside him, but he ignored her.

Dan's father joined in. "I don't remember the last time you spoke to someone for hours at a time," he noted. "Must have been someone important."

Dan shrugged. "One of my internet friends," he said, trying to remain nonchalant. "We Skyped today for the first time."

Ann bit her lip, but quickly covered it up by eating her potatoes. He had never wanted to stab his mother with a fork as much as this moment.

Dan's father raised an eyebrow. "Internet friend?" Dan could tell he didn't approve. "I don't understand."

"We met through the internet," Dan elaborated slightly.

Now Dan's father furrowed his eyebrows. "So you don't really know who he is."

"Desmond," Ann sighed. "Give Dan a break."  
Desmond turned to her. "What?" he said. "I can't say I approve of talking to people you've never met in real life! They could be complete freaks."

"People you've met in real life can be freaks and you'd never know! Give people a chance!"

As Dan's parents started quietly bickering, Dan's mind started wandering dark paths.

What if Phil _was_ a freak?

What if he _was_ some sort of creepy stalker?

What would Dan do?

Now he was starting to panic, and he really didn't want to panic.

"Dan?" Ann placed a hand on his shoulder. "Are you alright?"

Dan jumped at the contact, realising that he'd been staring down at his plate for the last little while, his hands frozen.

He looked up at his father, feeling a sudden urge of defiance. "Phil isn't a creep," he said. "I think I'd know by now if he was."

Desmond seemed a little taken aback, raising his eyebrow again. "Well, then," he began. "Convince me. Tell me about him."

Dan sighed, and began to talk.

A little while later, Dan collapsed on his bed. Good god, his family loved to give him grief.

He'd left out certain parts of his story - the parts that he'd told his mother about him having a massive crush on Phil. Oh yeah, and the fact that he was, indeed, bisexual. He wasn't quite ready to come out to his father yet, as he wasn't exactly sure of his homophobic status yet.

But for now, he rolled over and walked over to his desk. He picked up his phone and and unlocked it, not seeing any notifications from kik. He sighed as he entered his chat with Phil, and read over the last messages, specifically the one where Dan said he could wait for Phil.

That was a big, fat lie, in a certain way. At the time, he was so impatient to see Phil, even if it was just through a grainy computer screen - it would have to do for now.

But on the other hand, he could wait. He would wait forever for Phil if asked. He had a feeling that whatever Phil asked of him, if it was in his power, he would do.

 _Ohhhhh, boy..._ What had Dan gotten himself into this time?

He shouldn't be thinking these thoughts so soon. He had a feeling that he wouldn't be, were it anyone else. But for some reason, Phil seemed to have this immediate... _effect_ on him, an effect that he couldn't quite place. And as annoying as it was, and as much as it continued to drive him completely mental, it was kind of nice.

And as much as he couldn't wait for the day he could see Phil face to face, but he would wait. He knew he had to.

So, in the meantime, he walked back over to his bed and sat down. And he sent a message to Phil.

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _hey Phil, I'm back (:_

And then he put his phone on his bedside table, and fell back on his bed to wait for Phil.


	11. Important Author's Note

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An important Author's Note regarding the story.

Hey guys, so I have something to say.  
This is kinda about this story. Thank you all so much for the reads, votes, comments and follows, by the way! It all means so much to me :)

But I just want to point out that this story is FICTION. I was using kik at the time I started writing this story, but I no longer use the app. I do not trust it at all.

This story's situation is 99.999% impossible and should not be attempted.

For a little while, I considered halting the story completely because I don't trust the app I started writing about anymore. But then people started actually reading it and voting, and I realised I can't stop it there.

So, I will keep writing, but I do not condone the use of the app 'kik'. It keeps children and predators anonymous, and can be very dangerous.

I know that I can't force you to stop using it, but I'm begging you to be careful. Use a fake name, and never give out your real name, age, address, or anything to do with personal information that people can use to find you. Never send pictures of yourself unless you trust them. Block and report the people that spam you or harass you - never reply to people you're unsure about it, please.

Well, that's all. Thanks for your time :)


	12. Juu-Ichi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 11 ohmygosh
> 
> To make up for the depressing Author's Note I wrote, here :D have a fluffy chapter instead ^~^
> 
> It's so short though oml ;-; I'm so sorry.
> 
> ALSO THE #YOUTHVIDEO IS FUCKING GLORIOUS I LOVE IT TO BITS- *awkward cough*
> 
> *hands you "Make Australia Gay Again" cap cause I'm an Aussie not an American (don't worry I get the joke)*
> 
> I hope you enjoy~ :D

Dan didn't have to wait long at all before his phone buzzed again. He picked it up, grinning when the kik notification showed.

_**AmazingPhil:** Hey, Dan! I'm back now too :D_

_**danisnotonfire** : awesome! how are you?_

_**AmazingPhil:** I'm good ^-^ how about you?_

_**danisnotonfire:** eh. had an argument with my dad, but I guess it ended okay?_

_**AmazingPhil:** Oh no :O is everything okay?_

_**danisnotonfire:** well, it is now (:_

_**AmazingPhil:** That's good :)  
Do you have school tomorrow?_

_**danisnotonfire:** Phil, it is WAY too early in the evening to remind me of school, c'mon._

_**AmazingPhil:** So that's a yes?_

_**danisnotonfire:** regrettably, yes, that is a yes._

_**AmazingPhil:** Don't you like your school?_

_**danisnotonfire:** it's shit and I'm constantly ignored. so I just tend to sit in the corner and pretend I don't exist._

_**AmazingPhil:** I will flip a table._

_**danisnotonfire:** be careful, let me grab my drink._

_**AmazingPhil:** Dan, don't joke about this._

_**danisnotonfire:** what? there's nothing I can do about it, so I may as well make a few jokes to make myself feel better._

_**AmazingPhil:** I wish I could be there for you :/_

_**danisnotonfire:** don't worry. you are, just by saying that (:_

_**AmazingPhil:** Well, that's a start, at least :)_

A... start? Was Phil talking about wanting to meet Dan already? Or was Dan just reading too much into this?

Dan's mind raced, and he told those thoughts to shove it, he didn't need them right now.

**_danisnotonfire_ ** _: I guess so (:_

_**AmazingPhil:** Are you allowed to have your phone at school?_

_**danisnotonfire:** according to the rulebook? nope, but everybody has theirs anyway. teachers don't really pay attention._

_**AmazingPhil:** We're allowed to use ours during breaks, but that's it. If you get caught using them during class, immediate internal suspension for three days._

_**danisnotonfire:** what the fuck is an internal suspension?_

_**AmazingPhil:** Sit outside the principal's office and do the work there. If you get three internal suspensions in a term you get a classic suspension, I think._  
_I don't know, I've never had an internal._

_**danisnotonfire:** aww, Philly's a good boy~ :D_

_**AmazingPhil:** Oh, shut up, Daniel._

_**danisnotonfire:** whoa, full name, getting srs now._

_**AmazingPhil:** Dan I swear to god_

Dan laughed. Conversation with Phil was fun - he was one of the funniest human beings he'd had the pleasure to meet. Well, text.

But, of course, he wanted to meet Phil. More than anything.

_**danisnotonfire:** okay, okay, I'll stop._

_**AmazingPhil:** Thank you._

_**danisnotonfire:** anyway, why'd you ask about the phone thing?_

_**AmazingPhil:** I was wondering if is be able to message you tomorrow, is all._

_**danisnotonfire:** well, I'd love to, but I don't actually have any data for about a week, I'm using the internet at home rn._

_**AmazingPhil:** Aw, damn. Oh well :)_

_**danisnotonfire:** I'm really sorry :/_

_**AmazingPhil:** Hey, don't worry about it ^-^_

Dan didn't know how to answer that one, so he sat there, staring at the screen, numbly hoping that Phil would send another message.

At this point, he would probably give anything to skip school and keep messaging Phil. But life was really determined to screw him over, wasn't it?

Dan sighed. Now was not the time to be awkward.

His phone buzzed again, and he smiled as he saw another message pop up.

_**AmazingPhil:** Daaaaaan are you okay?_

_**danisnotonfire:** like I said, I am now (:_

__**AmazingPhil:** Good, because I don't want you to be anything but happy.  
You deserve to be happy, Daniel~  
Everyone deserves to have their own happiness :)

Their own happiness? What was Dan's happiness - he didn't think he had one.

But of course that was a lie, he thought of one immediately - right where he was, talking to Phil.

_**AmazingPhil:** What's your happiness, Dan? I'm curious :)_

_**danisnotonfire:** I'm not sure I have one._

Dan was a lying shit and he knew it, but there was no way in hell he was telling Phil any of this yet.

_**AmazingPhil:** Come on, Dan, everyone has one._

_**danisnotonfire:** no, seriously, I've never really had a "happy place" as they call it.  
but, playing video games I guess?_

_**AmazingPhil:** There we go :D_

_**danisnotonfire:** what about you?_

_**AmazingPhil:** Buffy, anime, video games, mainly._

_**danisnotonfire:** Buffy, Phil, really?_

_**AmazingPhil:** Buffy is awesome. Don't judge me._

_**danisnotonfire:** hey, I'm not judging.  
I'm the one that eats Maltesers all the time while browsing Tumblr and watching Studio Ghibli._

_**AmazingPhil:** OMG Studio Ghibli is amazing :D_

_**danisnotonfire:** I KNOW ASDFGHJKL nobody I know watches it ;-;_

_**AmazingPhil:** O: that is a crime in itself, I swear._

_**danisnotonfire:** Philly swore again, woo XD_

_**AmazingPhil:** OH FOR GOODNESS' SAKES, DAN._

Dan laughed.

_**danisnotonfire:** I'm sorry, I can't help myself XD_

_**AmazingPhil:** Ha ha, Dan -_-_

_**danisnotonfire:** you're not mad, are you?_

_**AmazingPhil:** No, I'm joking, Dan, don't worry~  
I can't be angry with you :P_

Dan smiled at that, because he could never be angry with Phil either.

Their conversation continued late into the night, and when they finally said goodnight, Phil's beautiful voice was echoing in his head, and he fell into a peaceful sleep.


	13. Juu-Ni

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAY! Willow updates with a decent-sized chapter :D
> 
> Can I please do some self-promo for a series of two books I'm writing that are set in the same universe pls? THEY'RE PHAN AND SEPTIPLIER PRINCE/NOBLE!AU'S IF THAT HELPS ;-; they're published, please check them out :D  
> "00:00" and "In the Minute Before Midnight" ^ω^
> 
> (Psst! I'm also debating putting a KickTheStickz story in that universe because why the heck not?? WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK?)
> 
> I had so much fun writing the chats in this chapter omg XD the typo that Dan makes was one I actually made while writing this on my phone, and I decided I had to keep it in XD  
> Also Chris is on fleek in this chapter, oml ^ω^  
> That's all :D
> 
> Dedicated to @switfy_called_jess on Wattpad, because their comments always make me laugh :D
> 
> I hope you enjoy~ :D

When Dan woke up on sunny Monday morning the first thing he did was groan - Monday meant school, school meant people, and that made Dan want to crawl into a hole.

School. _Yaaaaayyy..._ he thought grimly, reaching over to get is phone off the bedside table to check the time.

He woke up on time, thank goodness - no need for rushing this morning. He sighed in relief. And then he saw the kik icon in his notifications bar. He unlocked his phone and tapped into it, smiling sleepily when he saw that it was a notification from Phil.

 _10_ _minutes ago:_  
_**AmazingPhil:**_ _Morning, sunshine~ :D_

Dan's smile widened, but he couldn't help thinking that if anybody was to be called sunshine, it was Phil.

He quickly typed a message back.

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _good morning youdelf (:_  
_*yourself_  
_even autocorrect couldn't help me with that one jesus christ_  
_this is what I get for typing literally thirty seconds after I wake up_  
_sorry, that was a complete fiasco_  
_morning~_

His face going red from embarrassment, Dan quickly put his phone down and got out of bed to start getting ready.

He'd managed to straighten his hair free of the curls he hated so much and get his school uniform on, save the tie (he really couldn't be bothered with that yet), when his phone buzzed again. He picked it up and, seeing the kik notification, grinned as he unlocked it.

**_AmazingPhil:_ ** _Omg I laughed out loud and my mum looked at me weirdly and then I had to explain why, oh my god Dan XD_

Dan blushed again.

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _really, Phil, really?_

**_AmazingPhil:_ ** _Please don't be mad, but that was hilarious :P XD_

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _nah, I'm not mad. it's not like I CAN be mad at you._  
_anyway, morning (:_

_Why did I type that why did I type that for fuck's sake Dan Howell-_

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _Morning :D sleep well?_

_Oh thank god._

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _I did, actually, thank you (: hbu?_

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _I'm ashamed of the five seconds it took me to remember what 'hbu' stood for. It is WAY too early in the morning._

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _hahahahaha, heard that XD_

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _And I did too, thanks :D_  
_Ready for school?_

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _fuck no, never. can I seriously never go back to that place again please_

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _Come on, Dan, education is important!_

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _when am I EVER going to use trigonometry in real life?_  
_I don't even know what I want to DO with my life, and I'm in year 11 already jesus_

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _Well, I've heard that you shouldn't make any big decisions before you're 21 :)_

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _try telling that to the education system_

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _I know the feeling :/ I'm in year 12 and I'm not entirely sure either. They're telling me I have to go to college next year._

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _ahahahhahaha hahhaha hhahaha_  
_fuck that, I'm gonna live off benefits until I get my shit together and decide what I want to do_

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _Well, what are you interested in?_

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _video games, tbh. not much. I'm the most boring human being on the planet._

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _Oh shut up and stop saying things like that, will you?_

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _not any time in the next fifty years, probably_

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _Dan. -_-_

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _Phil?_

Dan. Phil. Dan and Phil.

For some reason, he really liked the sound of that.

**_AmazingPhil:_ ** _Ah, forget it. ^-^_

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _if you say so?_

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _I've gotta go have breakfast, I'll message you in a bit :D_

And right on cue, "Dan!" He smiled despite himself.

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _me too, actually. talk soon :)_

Dan locked his phone again and put it in his pocket and trekked downstairs to the kitchen. He was greeted with the sight of his father reading the newspaper at the table with buttered toast in front of him, his little brother watching TV in the lounge, and his mother turning and smiling at him as he entered.

"Morning, Dan!" she said cheerfully. "I made a hot chocolate for you! It's still hot, so be careful."

Dan accepted it with a smile. "Thank you," he replied, taking a sip. Ann always knew how to make hot chocolate just how he liked it, marshmallows and all.

He wondered if Phil drank hot chocolate, or if he preferred tea or coffee.

"Chicken sandwiches for lunch, too," his mother continued. "Last night's leftovers. There was just enough."

"Thanks."

"No worries."

"Good morning Dan," Robert greeted through a mouthful of toast, looking at him over the top of his newspaper. "Sleep well?"

Dan nodded and his father resumed reading. Of course he did - he felt like he had a guardian angel watching over him from... wherever he lived.

He got out the necessary utensils to make cereal and sat down at the table to eat.

Ann came over to sit beside him. "How's Phil?" she asked quietly, and Dan wasn't sure if his father had heard her or not.

"He's good," Dan replied just as quietly.

"I'm assuming you talked to him until you fell asleep last night?" Anne continued, raising an eyebrow and smirking slightly.

Dan glared at her, feeling heat rushing to his face. He decided not to answer that.

But Ann just kept that look on her face until Dan finally sighed and gave in. "Yeah, shut up."

Ann's smile widened and the other eyebrow went up, but she kept a dignified silence as Dan continued eating.

He quickly finished and put his bowl on the sink. He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket as he went back upstairs to his room to pack his bag. He took his phone out, somehow knowing that it was kik - but it wasn't Phil.

_Group chat with AmazingPhil, crabstickz, KickThePj._

_crabstickz changed chat name: The Fantastic Foursome_

_**crabstickz:** _ _GOOOOOOD MORNING VIETNAM!_

Dan giggled.

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _morning. it appears those drowsy pills wore off._

_**crabstickz:** _ _yeah, thank fuck. took waaaaaaaay too fucking long._  
_I've literally spent the last half hour walking around like a zombie._

_**KickThePj:** _ _Damn, he's awake._

_**crabstickz:** _ _oI m9, you wanna go?_

_**KickThePj:** _ _Love you too, Chris..._

_**crabstickz:** _ _awww <3_

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _Good morning, everyone~_

_**KickThePj:** _ _Morning :)_

_**crabstickz:** _ _MORNING SUNSHINE-PHILLY AND DANNY-BOY AND LOVER-PEEJ_

Well, Chris certainly had the guts to call Phil sunshine. Dan had the feeling that it was going to take a little bit longer.

Oh, who was he kidding. It was going to take him for _ever_.

**_KickThePj:_ ** _Also, Chris?_

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _Ummm, Chris?_

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _hey Chris?_

_**crabstickz:** _ _JESUS CHRIST CALM DOWN_  
_I KNOW I'M JUST THAT LOVEABLE BUT ONE Q AT A TIME PLZ M8's_  
_Peej first._

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _BIAS_

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _so Mich bias rn_

_**crabstickz:** _ _yep. deal ^-^_

_**KickThePj:** _ _"The Fantastic Foursome"? Really, Chris?_

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _Actually, that was my question too._

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _same lol_

_**crabstickz:** _ _what of it? it has a nice ring to it._  
_;) ;) ;)_

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _oh good god_

_**crabstickz:** _ _lololololololol_

_**KickThePj:** _ _I'm gonna go to school before this chat gets out of hand. Chris, Phil, see you there!_  
_Talk after school, Dan? :)_

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _sure! seeya (:_

_**crabstickz:** _ _cya at school, breh, cuz I gotta go too :3_  
_buh-byeeeeeee~~~~~_

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _See you guys soon!_

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _seeya (:_

A new notification popped up for Dan's private chat with Phil, and he went into it.

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _I should head off too :/_

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _why :/?_

Phil didn't type back for a while, making Dan start to worry. What was going through Phil's head at the moment?

Finally, after what seemed like years to Dan, the three dots that showed Phil was typing popped up onto the screen.

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _Well, it's hard to explain..._  
_Oh, screw it._  
_I'm going to miss talking to you, I suppose._

Dan could already feel his face going red, and for some reason he wanted to cry.

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _me too, Phil._

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _Really?_

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _of course!_  
_tbh, talking to you has been the most fun I've ever had._

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _Me too, Dan :)_  
_Well, I'm going to go._  
_I'll talk to you after school? :)_

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _absolutely (:_

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _Awesome!_  
_Seeya :D_

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _seeya (:_

As Dan locked his phone abd put it in his pocket, he felt happy. Happy that he'd finally have something worthwhile to return to when he got home from school.

But that happiness had long threatened to fade by the time he'd packed his bag, kissed his mother on the cheek, ruffled his little brother's hair and said goodbye to his father. As he stepped out the door, he felt the existential crisis coming.

For the first time ever, though, those thoughts were beaten down by his guardian angel with stunningly blue eyes.


	14. Juu-San

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is on a roll.
> 
> Dedicated to @capntamiekio on Wattpad for being such an awesome IRL friend and Phangirl :D
> 
> I hope you enjoy ^~^

Dan's school day was... well, it was uneventful, to say the least. Typical Monday, nothing really exciting, he thought. Got called emo a few times, probably failed that test he forgot about, but he honestly didn't care. He just wanted to get back home to the internet.

To kik.

To Phil.

Dan noticably walked home from school faster than usual (an achievement, he couldn't wait to get out of that hell hole on a normal day) just so his phone could finally connect to the internet again.

He burst through his front door, knowing that he would be the only one home for a while, as his father was working and his mother and brother were going out to one of their friend's houses this afternoon. He went straight up to his room, pulling his phone out of his pocket as he went. It buzzed, catching up with notifications from Twitter, Tumblr and kik. Of course, he dismissed the first two and went straight into kik.

There were plenty of messages from the group chat to spare.

_The Fantastic Foursome:_  
_1 hour ago:_  
_**AmazingPhil** _ _: Dan I love you_  
_THAT WAS CHRIS_  
_THAT WAS NOT ME I SWEAR_  
_I am so sorry_

Dan immediately felt the heat rising into his face - even if it was Chris that sent that message, it didn't really change much about the fact that Dan's heart was now going at about a million miles an hour.

**_crabstickz:_ ** _how dare you :O that was SO not me._

_**KickThePj:** _ _That's crap and you know it._

_**crabstickz:** _ _well, even if it was me, it's still true >.>_  
_wait, Peej? why are you online during CLASS?????_

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _I don't even know what to say anymore._

_**KickThePj:** _ _Chris, we are having a talk after school._

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _Yes, thank you._

_**crabstickz:** _ _oh fuck_

_**KickThePj:** _ _As for why I'm online, I saw those first few messages and excused myself. I'm in the bathroom._

_**crabstickz:** _ _want me to join you? ;)_

_**KickThePj:** _ _Chris, be serious. You can't go around doing stuff like that._  
_What are you, twelve?_

_**crabstickz:** _ _yeah, pretty much_  
_but I was going for slightly younger_  
_9 or 10, maybe?_

_**KickThePj:** _ _I am so sorry, Phil._

_**crabstickz:** _ _sorry, mate_  
_Phil?_

_**KickThePj:** _ _Phil?_

_AmazingPhil has left the chat_

By this time, Dan's eyes were wide and his mouth had dropped open slightly at all of those messages.

He saw that he also had separate messages from each of them. He decided to go into Chris's chat first, as it was the most recent.

_13 minutes ago:_  
_**crabstickz:** _ _hey, mate, I'm really sorry about that whole thing in the group chat_  
_I'm a bit of a nutter, and I just couldn't resist_  
_I hope this didn't screw up you and Phil, cause that would suuuuuck baaaaaalllls..._  
_but srsly, I have never seen him happier than when he talked about you today at school (yes he did that) oh my fucking god_  
_so you better treat Philly right or I will cut you_  
_but anyway, back to the original point: I'm really sorry if this screws you guys up in any way, because personally, I really like ya, Dan, and I know Phil does too, so if this has any long-term negative effect, hunt me down and shoot me_  
_I'm rambling again, so I'm gonna go now..._  
_talk later, Dan~_

Dan didn't know how to answer any of those, because at this point he was wondering about what long-term effects it could have. He chucked his bag down in its usual place by the door and sat down on his bed to read the messages from PJ - he decided to leave Phil's messages until last.

_50 minutes ago:_  
_**KickThePj:** _ _Hey Dan, I am so sorry about Chris. He really doesn't think about long-term effects before he does things, and that has gotten him into more than one round of trouble, believe me._  
_And I'm not in the class Phil and Chris had when that whole fiasco started, but I know Phil well enough to know that he wouldn't do something like that. That's definitely a Chris thing to do._  
_And I really hope this doesn't create any tension between you and Phil, because I definitely don't want that for Phil - he's always happy and barely anything changes that, and I really don't want this to._  
_So I hope you don't kill Chris, and I hope nothing happens between you and Phil :)_

Dan smiled. PJ had a way with words that somehow made Dan feel a whole lot better about the situation.

Taking a deep breath, he went into Phil's chat.

_42 minutes ago:_  
_**AmazingPhil:** _ _Oh my god I am so sorry, that was not me._  
_Chris stole my phone during class._  
_I am so so so sorry you have no idea._  
_I don't know what to say._  
_I'm just gonna go now._

That was all. Nothing more, nothing less. Dan was, in a way, disappointed, and his heart began the slow descent into his stomach.

He flopped backwards onto his bed, his phone slipping out of his hand. Closing his eyes with a sigh, he tried to slow his rapidly beating heart.

Even if Chris did write that message, it didn't really change anything. Dan still really liked Phil, and... he didn't really know what came next. He liked Phil. End of story.

Or was it?

Dan groaned and rolled into his side, for once making no move to save his phone that fell onto the floor. Who was he kidding? He was just some random stranger that Phil messaged late on a Saturday night. Dan was an antisocial loser that was looking for any excuse to hold up a conversation with a stranger that messaged him late on a Saturday night.

But he couldn't deny the immediate happy vibes he got from that first message from Phil. And talking to him for so long made him feel the happiest he'd felt in a long time.

He lay in silence for a while, trying to figure out exactly why Phil had bothered to keep talking to him. Why he'd bothered to introduce him to Chris and PJ, and why they'd bothered to keep talking to him.

He thought that he must have dozed off into a light sleep at some point, because he jerked awake in surprise when his phone rang out his notification sound.

He sighed, and rolled over and leant over to pick it up off the floor. Switching it on, he saw that it was about twenty minutes after he'd gotten home from school, proving the theory that he'd fallen asleep.

He wasn't too sure what to think when he saw the kik icon in the notification bar, but he unlocked it and went into it anyway.

He also wasn't sure what to think when he saw that it was a message from Phil.

**_AmazingPhil:_ ** _Hey, Dan? You online?_

He didn't answer for a few minutes as he thought about what to say. But it wasn't too long before Phil sent another message.

**_AmazingPhil:_ ** _Dan?_  
_I can see that you've read these._  
_If you're mad at... Someone because of earlier, I am really sorry._  
_You have no idea how embarrassed I am. Seriously._  
_Please talk to me, Dan._

That was the last one for a bit, and Dan finally plucked up the courage to reply.

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _sorry_  
_I don't know what to say_  
_but I'm here_

He'd always be there.

**_AmazingPhil:_ ** _Oh thank god._  
_I was actually really worried._  
_Please don't make me worry like that again._

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _I'm really sorry_

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _Hey, it's okay :)_  
_Are you mad?_

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _tbh I dunno what I am_

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _What do you mean?_

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _I'm not mad, I'm just... eh. it's hard to explain_  
_it's like I'm an emotionless husk at the moment, I suppose?_  
_kinda... internally confused_  
_I hope that makes some sort of sense._

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _I guess it does._  
_Sorry, I'm still a little annoyed at Chris :/_

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _annoyed is a good word._

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _This got so awkward so fast._

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _moving on?_

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _If you don't mind._

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _not at all (:_

Dan was indeed a lying little shit and he knew it, because he figured that he would not be moving on from _that_ anytime soon.


	15. Juu-Shii

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please do not skip this note. This is super important. Paraphrased from my Wattpad Author's note:
> 
> "So, I didn't update this on Wattpad for a while, and I'm sorry. But, y'know, things get in the way. I haven't exactly been okay recently, and this hasn't really been on the top of my priority list.
> 
> If it sounds like I'm a little pissed, it's because I kinda am right now. But before you run away thinking "oMg WhAt A bItCh", please allow me to explain what's been going on.
> 
> Don't get me wrong, I'm super grateful to you guys for reading this, and it really warms my heart to think that all of you like this story so much. I still read every single comment that comes in, the good and the not-so-good.
> 
> For example, on Wattpad I got a comment saying something along the lines of "UPDATE OR I WILL FIND YOU AND MAKE YOU UPDATE" (they know who they are).
> 
> These comments do not help me. Comments like this will be deleted, so just don't bother. This can be classed as threatening, I don't care what the official guidelines for Wattpad (or this site) are. I do not like these comments, they just make me stressed out, and I hate being stressed. I'm stressed enough already as it is.
> 
> So just don't. Okay?
> 
> And, of course, I've just been feeling really bad recently, and so I haven't been able to find the time, inspiration or energy to write this story. But I'm going to start trying again :)
> 
> But other than that, thank you so much for reading, voting and commenting, it means so much to me. I'm sorry that I don't really update frequently, but quality over quantity, right? :D
> 
> Welp, that's it for now :)"
> 
> So, that's that. Thanks for reading my rants, and I hope you enjoy :D
> 
> This one's dedicated to one of my online friends, XenFeather (find her on YouTube under the same name~) for just being a goddamn awesome person and friend. xoxo <3

Dan and Phil kept talking for a little while, but Dan felt that his side of the conversation was strained because of what had just happened.

He couldn't move past or for some reason - it just... stuck in his mind, and through the following conversation about who their favourite character in Howl's Moving Castle was, it was constantly bugging him. It was always at the back of his mind. He wondered if that was the case for Phil, too. Somehow he doubted it, because the simple and easy conversation was still flowing from the messaging app.

But still, he couldn't help but stop and wonder...

Was that remark even the slightest bit true?

Dan hadn't realised that he hadn't replied to Phil's last message until his phone buzzed again.

**_AmazingPhil:_ ** _Dan? You there?_  
_Are you okay?_  
_Daaaaaan..._

Dan mentally slapped himself out of his daze and pulled himself back to reality, to the present time. Phil was messaging him. He needed to answer. _Now, Dan!_

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _yeah, I'm okay. just thinking, I suppose_

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _What about?_  
_If you don't mind telling me, that is._

Dan smiled. Somehow Phil knew exactly what to say.

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _eh, school, coming out, school... school_

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _Well, let me know if I can help you with anything, okay? :)_

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _thank you (:_

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _No worries ^-^ What are friends for?_

Dan almost typed that he would know, as he'd never had any good friends. Sure, there'd been a couple that didn't ditch him right off the bat, but nobody had stuck around, either.

**_AmazingPhil:_ ** _Are you really okay, Dan?_  
_You seem a little off at the moment._  
_I'm sorry if I'm pushing the issue too much, but I'm kinda worried right now._

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _I don't mean to worry you, I'm sorry_

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _No need to apologise, Dan, I'm just a little concerned._

Dan considered telling him everything, he really did, but he just coildnt seem to find the words to say it. He couldn't find the right words to tell Phil that these conversations meant the world to him, and the thought of coming home to one of them after an awful day of school was the only thing he had been looking forward to today, the only thing pulling him through the day.

He wanted to tell him, god he did. But he couldn't. He couldn't find the courage to make his fingers type the words.

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _nah, it's okay. just had a shit day, is all_

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _Aw, that sucks :/_

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _yeah, but I guess it's getting better_

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _Well, it's better than nothing, right? :)_

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _... I suppose so (:_

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _Want me to Skype you again, if it's easier?_

Dan smiled again. Just the thought of seeing Phil again, even through a screen, made him feel happy.

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _sure (: later though, I dunno when dinner's gonna be or whatever_

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _Fine by me :)_  
_I'd like to talk to you again, it was so fun last time :D_

Leave it to Phil to be the happy, forward guy in the relations-

Wait, wait, wait.

_Relationship?_

Where the _fuck_ did that come from?

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _yeah, it was (:_  
_I suck at conversation though, so I'm sorry if it was awkward af_

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _What are you talking about, it was fine :) I_ _had a lot of fun talking to you :D_

Dan honestly couldn't tell if Phil was serious or not, and it was annoying.

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _seriously?_

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _Absolutely!_  
_Don't you believe me?_

If Dan was being honest with himself, no, he didn't really believe that at all.

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _it's not that, it's just that I wouldn't have much fun talking to me_

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _Well, I'm not you, am I?_

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _good point_

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _You're just going to have to trust me on this one, okay? :)_

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _okay (:_

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _That was so cheesy._

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _I know, good god_

_**AmazingPhil** _ _: That turned into TFIOS so quickly._

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _heard that_  
_that book was so sad_  
_the movie was worse_

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _Oh no, we are NOT going into that._

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _I agree_

And the conversation naturally drifted to happier subjects from there, with Dan feeling ever so slightly happier than before.

Conversation with Phil was so wonderfully natural, unlike most of the conversations that Dan had managed to hold this long in his life, which were all strained and forced. But he imagined that with Phil, they'd never run out of things to talk about for once.

And there Dan was again, thinking about meeting Phil, which was another topic on his mind practically all day. Not that he minded, of course, it was one of the happier subjects he thought about. At least he wasn't thinking about death a lot.

He'd imagines so many scenarios about the first time he would meet Phil. One would be the initial awkward "Hello"s in Starbucks, eventually leading into casual conversation, just like how the kik conversation had started off like.

Another one was Phil and him hugging in a little coffee shop, the atmosphere immediately light and carefree, where they would have no worries about awkwardness between them, or judgement from other people.

And of course, there was the dreaded scenario of awkwardness that would inevitably lead to them never talking again. He tried to avoid thinking about that situation at all costs.

His favourite scenario to imagine was the coffee shop one. He definitely liked that one.

But they'd just have to wait and see, wouldn't they?

And the wait was absolutely _killing_ Dan inside, and he had a feeling that Phil didn't really feel the same. Or maybe he did, and Dan's depressing imagination was running wild again, who knows. He couldn't really be sure about anything at that point in time, because anything could lead anywhere.

He wondered which direction Phil wanted it to go.

He wondered which direction he wanted it to go - he wasn't entirely sure himself.

So he kinda panicked when his phone buzzed with messages from PJ.


	16. Juu-Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lololol as I'm cross-posting this I'm reading over the A/N's on Wattpad and thinking "WTF was I on that weekend?" haha XD
> 
> CHAPTER 15 YAY :D
> 
> Welp, I hope you enjoy the chapter :D

Why would PJ be messaging him? Well, Dan had an idea, but he wasn't too sure. It could be anything, right...?

Yeah, right, Dan thought sarcastically, wanting to roll his eyes at himself. As if it'd be anything else.

He typed a quick message to Phil.

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _hey, I'll be right back_

Phil, as usual, answered almost immediately.

**_AmazingPhil:_ ** _Okay :)_

Dan took a deep breath to try and slow his racing heart and tapped into PJ's chat.

**_KickThePj:_ ** _Hey, Dan, you online at the moment?_  
_Well, I hope you're okay, in any case._  
_I can't see who's read messages or anything in the group chat, so there's no real way to tell if you'd read the whole thing, but I'm assuming you did, along with the messages that I sent you._  
_I hope Chris said something to you, too._  
_Hi! :)_

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _hey PJ_  
_and yeah, I read what happened in the group chat_

**_KickThePj:_ ** _Well, this is awkward._

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _tell me about it_

**_KickThePj:_ ** _Have you talked to Phil?_

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _yeah, we've been talking for the past couple hours_  
_was awkward af for a bit, but I think it's okay now?_

**_KickThePj:_ ** _Well, it's a start :)_

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _I guess so_

**_KickThePj:_ ** _Has Chris messaged you?_

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _yeah, he apologised_

**_KickThePj:_ ** _I don't know what he said exactly, but I hope he didn't offend you or anything._

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _nah, nothing like that, don't worry about it_

**_KickThePj:_ ** _But I do worry about Chris, it's my job as his boyfriend._  
_And I worry about you, because it's my job as a friend._

Dan blinked. Well, that was certainly unexpected.

PJ definitely had a way with words. What the heck, how in hell did he do that?

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _cheers :p_

**_KickThePj:_ ** _You should know that I saw Phil after school today, and he was so embarrassed. Seriously, it really got to him._  
_I hope he's doing okay, he hasn't messaged me or anything._

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _I think he's okay, he seems to be fine_  
_but it's me who still feels awkward af_

**_KickThePj:_ ** _Well, it's not something you get over quickly, is it?_

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _I guess not_

PJ was silent for a moment. For some reason, Dan realised that he'd never looked at what PJ's profile picture was. Suddenly curious, he tapped onto it.

His profile picture was a selfie in front of a colourful wall, and Dan's first thought was that PJ was incredibly good-looking, pulling off the brown curly hair that Dan hated on himself, and his eyes were very green. The smile on his face looked genuinely kind, unlike most boys his age who tried to look like they were hitting on whoever was looking at the photo.

But however good-looking PJ was, it didn't give him the same heart-racing reaction that Phil gave him.

His heart _did_ start racing when his phone vibrated with a message from PJ, scaring the absolute shit out of him.

_**KickThePj:** _ _Hey, Dan?_

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _yeah?_

**_KickThePj:_ ** _Do you know about Phil?_

Dan furrowed his eyebrows, confused.

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _what, that he's bi?_

**_KickThePj:_ ** _Oh, good, you do know._  
_I thought you might have been freaked out or something._

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _nah, he told me a little while before he introduced me to you guys_  
_it was the official "is Dan a homophobe" test_

**_KickThePj:_ ** _Fair enough._  
_Was it to see your reaction to me and Chris being together?_

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _yeah, actually, good job_

**_KickThePj:_ ** _It wasn't that hard to figure out._

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _well, please excuse me for being an idiot_

**_KickThePj:_ ** _Ha ha :P_

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _shut up, I'm barely passing school as it is._

**_KickThePj:_ ** _Come on, now, don't be a pessimist._

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _been one all my life, why stop now?_

**_KickThePj:_ ** _Because it's not healthy?_

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _well, if it weren't for my double-storey house and the stairs at my school is probably weigh about 500 pounds._  
_*I'd_

**_KickThePj:_ ** _For goodness sakes, you know what I mean._

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _yeah, I know, but hey, fuck it_  
_I don't even know what I'm SAYING anymore_

**_KickThePj:_ ** _Why are you a pessimist?_

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _eh. most things just go to shit around me. I dunno, but my utter awkwardness just seems to make everything fuck up._

**_KickThePj:_ ** _Well, that's certainly a decent reason. But still, maybe you should try and make an attempt to lift yourself up. Be happy._

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _I feel like this is the right place to say "be like Phil"_

**_KickThePj:_ ** _Well, yes. Although finding someone as happy-go-lucky as that kid is going to be a challenge, let alone be like him._

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _too true_  
_and you can't just tell me to be happy, it doesn't work like that_

**_KickThePj:_ ** _Yeah, I realised that as soon as I sent that. Sorry._  
_But maybe try and do things that make you happy more often. For example, for me it's photography, writing stories, and playing video games. For Chris it's video games and watching stupid tv shows._  
_What would it be for you?_

Dan sar up as he thought about it. Video games were certainly one thing he enjoyed. Aimlessly browsing Tumblr was certainly another thing he did often but if he was honest with himself, it was more of a pastime than something he enjoyed. He cast his gaze around the room, looking for something, anything.

His eyes fell on the old piano sitting in the corner of the room, and remembered the song he learned to play for his mother. He smiled. He did enjoy playing the old, dusty piano, even if it was rather badly.

He looked back down at hos phone, where he could almost see PJ waiting patiently.

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _video games and playing the piano, I guess?_

**_KickThePj:_ ** _That sounds awesome! I didn't know you could play piano :)_

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _I'm not very good at it, though_

**_KickThePj:_ ** _Good or no, it's still an awesome skill to have :)_  
_And as for video games, maybe the four of us could have an online Mario Kart session sometime, who knows._

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _that'd ne cool :D_  
_*be_  
_god dammit_  
_hey, with the speed you would have to type to reply so quickly, don't you ever make typos?_

**_KickThePj:_ ** _I proofread. And autocorrect is nice to me on this phone, seeing as I've had it for a couple of years now._

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _fair enough_

**_KickThePj:_ ** _And I think I'm the only one of the four of us that both uses autocorrect and proofreads._

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _yeah, I think so_  
_I just use my phone a lot so I'm well practiced_  
_I say that, but I still make a shitload of typos :p_

**_KickThePj:_ ** _Oh well :)_

And here was Dan's definition of a conversation end, and he was still shifty and coming up with new conversation topics, and so he just left it there for a bit, until he got one more message from PJ.

_**KickThePj:** _ _Sorry, I have to go._  
_Bye :)_

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _ok, seeya :)_

Dan locked his phone and lay back on the bed, going over his conversation with PJ in his head. He didn't message Phil back right away like he probably should have, but he needed the thinking time.

PJ definitely had a way with words. And as much as he normally would have just ignored the words PJ had said if anyone else had said them, but today he really thought about them. He certainly played a lot of video games in his spare time, but when was the last time he played the piano?

He realised that he didn't remember. He claimed to have liked playing it, but he couldn't even remember the last time he did.

Maybe he'd play it for Phil one day.

He smiled. He'd really like to play for Phil. Maybe it would be a thank-you to Phil for bringing a speck of happiness into his pessimistic life.

He got up off the bed, leaving his phone, and walked over to the piano. The top was covered with music sheets and books and quite a layer of dust. He was suddenly torn between the urge to brush it all off and play a song and to leave it for another time, a more special time than a Monday afternoon.

He decided to leave, and walked back to his bed. Pushing his phone aside, he flopped back down and moved into s comfortable position to keep thinking.

The conversation with PJ.

Phil.

Group chat.

What Chris said.

Phil.

_Phil._


	17. Apology and Thought Spew :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not an update - just needed to spill my thoughts somewhere.

Sorry, not really an update. More of an apology, and I wanna chat with you guys. I have some confessions to make and some other things to say.

I'll start with my apologies, so please stick with me :)

This is a bit of an apology for what I said in a point of my author's notes in the last chapter (on Wattpad)?

Yeah, I've been angry and pissed off at a lot of things lately, and I know that's not really an excuse, but I'm still trying. Bear with me here while I try to get my thoughts in order, please?

So, I'm angry at myself for what I said. I was having a bit of a bitch about Dan and Phil, about how I don't really like their videos anymore, and about theyr tour of the US they're currently doing.

So I said some rude things, and some people got pissed off at me. I'm really sorry, I really am.

I guess I'm jealous, kinda. Because I know that I'm poor, my family is poor, and we can barely afford to pay the bills or put credit on everyone's phones so we can just text each other in an emergency. There's only three of us, too, and I have a really simple plan, with no internet off my property.

And because I'm poor, I can't afford to do anything or go anywhere, let alone to a meet-up or something with the people that changed my life. So for you guys in the US that Dan and Phil are going so close to and can afford to go, I envy you.

But I said some rude things that I felt I just needed to get off my chest, and I realise now that I may have offended some people. I am so sorry, I promise I didn't mean to.

But on the other hand, I did mean what I said. I do have my own opinions and I am entitled to have them and stand by them, which I do.

So, I'm sorry if I offended or pissed off some people, but I do like to speak my mind.

My second apology is ny update schedule, or lack thereof. My life used to be really simple and I was breezing through it, but recently a lot of things have been happening that make me so angry and pissed off and depressed _all the fucking time._ My school grades are probably fallling, too, because my mind is just too fucked up at the moment. I won't go into specific details for some of them for privacy reasons, but I feel like you guys, you wonderful people that decided to read my story (the one I came up with at midnight one Friday night, no joke), deserve to know a few things.

I have social anxiety. Yup. I'm terrified to go up to teachers outside of class hours to ask for help, I'm terrified to go out and socialise with people, I'm just... terrified to leave my little bubble, my safezone.

My friends are arguing, and I'm the little shit that had to get stuck in the middle. One did something to piss the other one off and they're not talking to each other, but I'm friends with both of them and it's just fucking pissing me off.

I think one of my friends might have depression, but I don't know for sure, and I'm worried for her. I know already that she has social anxiety and is more comfortable being alone, but recently she just seems to be sadder every day. I don't know what to do about it.

I'm stuck I'm a school full of homophobes. I hear comments all around the school, in the lockerrooms, "He's a fucking homo!" "Are you fucking gay!" "They're all fucking faggots!" "She's a lesbo!" "They're fags!" "Fucking gay cunt." And these comments piss me off. Sure, I have a group of friends that don't give a shit about homosexuality, but still. I wanna knock the homophobic people's heads together. I can't deal with it.

Leading on from that, I'm scared of coming out of the closet to my parents. I'm lesbian, I think. Maybe polysexual with a definite preference for girls, but I like girls. I've talked to my parents about it before, dropping subtle hints that I'm into girls, and they've said things that indicated they're certain I'm straight.

Not that there's anything wring with being hetero, good god. There's nothing wrong with being any sexuality, as long as you don't use it against other people.

I even said to my parents once each, "Y'know, I could be bi, girls are cute."

"You're too young to know what you want," they said. But my mum did say that she'd support me if I was, so that's a plus?

I'm fourteen, and I think I'm pretty mature for my age. I also think that I know what I want, and I'm fucking gay.

So there's that. And I trust that you guys don't have a problem with it, seeing as you're reading a story about gay guys XD well, technically bi guys, but you get the point.

So there's that. Moving on.

I have to go to court and it's terrifying. I'm terrified. I can't even begin to tell you how scared I am. I won't say why I'm going to court, but it's taking up all of my thoughts.

So there's a few explanations out of the way, back to apologies.

I'm sorry I don't upload a lot, I really am.

But another reason is, I don't really like Dan and Phil all that much anymore. As I said, they're just... Eh. I can't get there minutes into a new video of theirs without cringing.

And I guess I'm getting kinda pissed off at them, too. I mean, sure, they're cool people and all, and I relate to Dan especially on a spiritual level, but seriously? All they do is make videos.

(Please don't get mad at me. I am purely spilling my thoughts, I feel like I need to put them somewhere.)

I've been thinking about it, and honestly, what have they ever done for me? What have they done for anyone?

Do they do charities?

Do they help people?

I realise I don't know the answer to these questions.

I follow them on their Twitter accounts, too, and they've both tweeted about their tour bus. Their fucking tour bus. And all I cound think was, honestly, "A tour bus. Great. They get a fucking tour bus and I'm stuck back here with a shifty life and nothing better to do than to imagine situations that will never happen."

And people tell me to go out and improve my life? Haha, bullshit, I don't know how. I'm scared to change anything. I just want to sit at my computer all day and play silly games and write stories and make online friends that I'll never be able to see in real life, probably.

I don't have the money to go travelling, or buy the recording setup I want, or anything. I'm just a terrified girl that wants nothing to do with living.

I want to travel, to see the world. I want to go to university. I want to get tattoos, I want to go somewhere in life. But everything costs money these days, and that's money I don't have.

But I want to help others live. I like to help other people, and I want to somehow make their day just a little but better, every day.

But how can I do that if I'm not happy?

I honestly want to cry as I'm writing this. Kill me.

So, in other words, I'm falling into a swirling vortex of darkness with no escape and I don't know what the fuck to do about it. Nor do I really want to do anything about it.

So there's my word spew for today, and I have no idea if any of that made sense. I honestly don't know what else to say.

So how was your day? I really hope you're doing well :) Because you are all beautiful people, and I love you all <3

PS 1: About Dan and Phil, I hope this story doesn't fall apart because of that. Right now, Dan and Phil in this book are more of my original characters.

2: I respect Dan and Phil as people, and I still like them, I'm just not really a fan anymore. Don't get me wrong XD

3: I'm also thinking of writing another Phan book called "The Third Law". It would be different to this one, with one of the characters having depression and not wanting to live. They're popular, right? XD  
Would you guys be up for reading that?

4: Find me on Instagram? :D @ willow0angel

That's all for now, I think. I hope you have a lovely day! :D <3


	18. Juu-Roku

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLS I WRITE MORE PHAN THINGS on my profile on this site pls check them out when you have the time :D
> 
> Well, I hope you enjoy the chapter :D It's slightly shorter, but what the hell.

Dan lay there on his bed for a while before he finally picked up his phone again to message Phil. When he opened up the chat, he imagined Phil sitting on the other side of the screen, doing whatever Phil did. Homework, maybe. Or maybe, like Dan, he was wistfully staring at his phone, wishing the other would message back.

Oh boy, Dan really needed to get a life.

Buy instead of doing that, he messaged Phil.

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _hey Phil, I'm back (:_

Phil replied right away.

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _Hi! :D_

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _What'd I miss? (:_

And much to Dan's delight, it just flowed from there, like a stream in spring.

From there on, Dan seemed to fall into a pattern of life.

Wake up, talk to Phil, go to school, think about Phil, go home, procrastinate, talk to Phil, not do his homework, talk to Phil/Skype Phil and maybe Chris and PJ, sleep. Repeat.

He couldn't help it. Talking to this stranger online was the one ray of light in Dan's life. And Phil certainly kept his promise, and Dan was so grateful for that.

Honestly, it was the only thing getting him through school. He didn't have any close friends in real life (did Phil count yet, after all they'd Skyped?) so Phil was the only one.

Days passed. Then a week. Then two. And then this became his normal life. And he was perfectly happy with that. In fact, he was happier than he'd ever been.

His mother noticed his slowly rising happiness, too. Sure, he was about as interactive with the rest of his family as he'd ever been (which wasn't a lot), but he complained less about going to school, he would often be heard laughing in his bedroom, he'd just generally be happier.

His little brother probably noticed, too. Now the little guy would smile a lot more at Dan as he headed to school, and sometimes he would pop his head in and say hi to Phil if they were talking on Skype, and to Chris and PJ if they were there. Seeing his little brother happy made Dan happy, too.

He had a feeling that this was because Phil not only made him happier just by talking to him, but Phil encouraged him to be happier around his family, too. He'd encourage Dan to talk to them a little more.

Sure, his social skills needed a lot of work, but Dan finally felt like he was somehow improving, even if it was just a bit.

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _I'm still terrified to tell my Dad, though_

**_AmazingPhil:_ ** _These things take time, you know._

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _sure, like I'll ever be anything but a socially anxious git_

**_crabstickz:_ ** _don't be like that, Dannyboy, take. Leaf_  
_fuck, I dropped my phone. it's too late at night for this shit._

**_KickThePj:_ ** _I never thought I'd hear you say that._

**_crabstickz:_ ** _*take a leaf out of Philly's book and be happy._  
_I know, but I had a long day. it's fucking Friday, gimme a break._

**_KickThePj:_ ** _Break given._

**_AmazingPhil:_ ** _It's the weekend, have a whole two day break! :D_

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _that's noT LONG ENOUGH_

**_crabstickz:_ ** _I'm hearing ya, mate._

**_KickThePj:_ ** _But Phil's right, Dan. These things can take a lot of time, depending on the individual. You tell your Dad whatever you want when you feel like you're ready._

**_AmazingPhil:_ ** _How about your brother? How old is he again?_

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _twelve_

**_crabstickz:_ ** _TWELVIE!!!!!_

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _he's actually pretty mature for his age, and that's saying something. most boys his age are dickheads_

**_crabstickz:_ ** _I'm hearing ya, mate._

**_AmazingPhil:_ ** _Maybe he's young enough that he'll have an open mind? :)_

**_KickThePj:_ ** _That's a good point._

_**crabstickz:** _ _AWW PHILLY YOU LITTLE RAY OF HAPPINESS AND OPTIMISM AND SUNSHINE YOU_

_**KickThePj:** _ _You keep saying that._

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _welcome to the Fantastic Foursome, ft. Jealous!KickThePj!!!!_

_**KickThePj:** _ _Shut up, you little shit._

_**crabstickz:** _ _don't worry, Peej, Philly here belongs to Dannyboy anyway~_

_**KickThePj:** _ _Whatever you say._

_**crabstickz:** _ _love you, Peej~ <3_

_**KickThePj:** _ _Love you too, Chris x_

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _Adrian might get it, I'm not really sure._

_**crabstickz:** _ _*sudden subject change is sudden*_

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _stfu or I'll stab you with a spork_

_**crabstickz:** _ _*zips lips*_

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _cheers_

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _Brothers are awesome, I do have one of my own. Adrian will understand :)_

_**crabstickz:** _ _*muffled sounds*_

_**KickThePj:** _ _I beg your pardon?_

_**crabstickz:** _ _*unzips lips*_  
_I SAID THAT IF HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND I'LL STAB HIM WITH MULTIPLE SPORKS_

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _..._

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _Guys, enough about stabbing people already!_

_**KickThePj:** _ _Please stop._

_**crabstickz:** _ _if I laugh any harder I'm going to cry xD_


	19. Q&A and Q&A ANSWERS!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I did a little Q&A over on Wattpad for a belated 15K Reads celebration, so here are the two parts to it!! :D

G'day guys, Willow here!

So, I was thinking. This story just hit _16.3 fucking thousand reads_ (what the actual fuck, thank you guys so much), and these Q and A things seem pretty popular, so why not do one ourselves? :D

I really want to involve you guys some more because y'all are the absolute BEST, so I figure as a late 15k reads special, ask people your questions and us people behind the screen will answer!! :D

The people (I know these aren't their actual names IRL, but hey, whatever) you can ask are:

**Phil Lester**

**Martyn Lester (Phil's older bro)**

**Mr** **Lester (Phil's father)**

**Mrs Lester (Phil's mother)**

**Dan Howell**

**Adrian Howell (Dan's little bro)**

**Anne Howell (Dan's mother)**

**Desmond Howell (Dan's father)**

**Chris Kendall**

**PJ Ligouri**

_aaaaaaaand_

**Willow Angel (MEEEEE, woohoo!)**

So, ask away! As the characters questions about what's happened so far, ask me about my non-existent upload schedule, ask whatever you like!! If you don't mind, please check that your questions haven't already been asked before asking yourself. That's all I ask of you guys :D

Well, we look forward to answering your questions :)

Peace! :D

~~Willow :)

 

\---

 

Sup guys!

So it's been a week, I've collected your questions/comments, so here are the answers you've been waiting for :)

Welp, that's enough of that. Onto the answers!

 

** Chat with AmazingPhil (Phil Lester) **

**DeathByPhandom:** _Hey you huge piece of sunshine, how are you doing, also do you have a crush if so who is it?_

 **_AmazingPhil:_ ** _Sunshine? Chris is the only one that's ever called me that, thank you! And I'm doing wonderfully, I hope you are too! Crush? Um... yeah... it's this guy that I've been talking to for a couple of weeks. We've been talking and Skyping and all that, and I really want to meet him. And yes, I say "him". His name is Dan._

 **_Luvbug264:_ ** _Why are you so freaking adorable?_

 **_AmazingPhil:_ ** _I'm adorable? Thanks, but I... um... I don't even know what to say, thank you!_

 **_hslesinski16:_ ** _would you rather have Dan as your boyfriend or as your friend?_

 **_AmazingPhil:_ ** _Well, I'd like to have Dan as my boyfriend and some stage, I'll admit that. But I don't know if he wants to same thing. So, I'll wait and whatever happens happens, I guess._

 **_DAN_PHILTRASHFOREVER:_ ** _Can you and Dan just like date already!?!???_

 **_AmazingPhil:_ ** _Please, calm down! I... I haven't even met him in real life yet. I want to, though. I'm going to ask him out if we click in real life. Promise!_

 **_ProPhangirl21p:_ ** _Do you like Dan?? Ps you're adorable :3_

 **_AmazingPhil:_ ** _Of course I like Dan! And thank you :D_

 **_gardeninglester:_ ** _is dan squishy yes or no_

 **_AmazingPhil:_ ** _uhh...._

 **_fantacygirl2004:_ ** _if you change one thing about Dan, anything, what would it be?_

 **_AmazingPhil:_ ** _I would NEVER want to change ANYTHING about Dan. Ever. He's perfect the way he is. Although, I do want to change the fact that he doesn't live closer to me, but that's it. Dan is perfect and I wouldn't change him for the world :)_

 

** Chat with mookentooken (Martyn Lester - Phil's older bro) **

**_willow0angel:_ ** _It seems that people don't want to talk to you, mate._

 **_mookentooken:_ ** _So it would seem... I don't bite, promise!_

 

** Chat with JJ_Lester (Mr Lester - Phil's father) **

**_willow0angel:_ ** _Yo JJ, how you holding up?_

 **_JJ_Lester:_ ** _...bored over here in my little corner... I can answer questions too!_

 

** Chat with Amelia02 (Mrs Lester - Phil's mother) **

**_willow0angel:_ ** _Hey Amelia, you got any questions yet?_

 **_Amelia02:_ ** _No, not yet, but I imagine people like Phil are more important than people like me. I don't mind :)_

 

** Chat with danisnotonfire (Dan Howell) **

_**DeathByPhandom:** _ _On a scale of 1 to 10 how scared are you to come out to your father? (P.s. you'll be fine you have Philly)_

 **_danisnotonfire:_ ** _well, on a scale of 1 to 10, I'm about a 10.5-infinity, but I guess I have to say it at some point. and I know (or I hope) I have Phil, I don't know what I'd do without him at this point, honestly_

 _**Luvbug264:** _ _How in love with Phil are you_

 **_danisnotonfire:_ ** _hey now, let's not get ahead of ourselves. I really like Phil, sure. I've never exactly been "in love" before, so I wouldn't even know how to describe it. but yeah, I really like him_

 **_flaminpotatos:_ ** _Why are you so adorable_

 **_danisnotonfire:_ ** _"adorable" is not the word I would have used to describe myself, tbh_

 **_DAN_PHILTRASHFOREVER:_ ** _Why are you not dating Phil rn?_

 **_danisnotonfire:_ ** _maybe because we haven't actually MET yet? which is gradually killing me inside, but I'll last. kinda want to go on a date with him, though. AFTER we actually meet. whenever that's going to be, if it's ever going to be_

 **_ProPhangirl21p:_ ** _Are you gonna ask Phil out?????? Love yooouuuuuu_

 **_danisnotonfire:_ ** _ha hhaaaaaa, as if I have the confidence for that. and thanks, I guess?_

 

** Chat with AdyHow (Adrian Howell - Dan's little bro) **

**_DeathByPhandom:_ ** _You cool, also watch out for any flying sporks_

 **_AdyHow:_ ** _Thanks! And I don't think cutlery can fly. Sorry. But hey, whatever..._

 **_Luvbug264:_ ** _Do you like Phil?_

 **_AdyHow:_ ** _Yeah! Phil's awesome! I can see why Dan keeps talking to him, he's pretty awesome. Dan's lucky to have a friend like that._

 **_trashywriteromfg:_ ** _what are your opinions on lgbt+ people? do you support/accept them? wait--oh my god are you lgbt+ bc that would be rlly cool and easier for Dan to come out to you_

 **_AdyHow:_ ** _D_ _ude, I don't even know what half of the letters STAND for - there's too many! But yeah, I accept them. It doesn't really change anything, in my opinion, it just changes which freaking gender they like. Am I LGBT? I haven't really thought about it all that much, but maybe... As for Dan coming out? If he ends up gay or bi or whatever else is in that stupidly long title, that's fine by me._

 **__A/N:_ _ ** __Dude, that is a good idea..._ _

 

** Chat with AnnHowell_ (Ann Howell - Dan's mother) **

**DeathByPhandom:** _You are just great and awesome, what is it like having Dan for a son?_

 **_AnnHowell_:_ ** _Thank you so much, dear! You are very kind. And having Dan for a son is wonderful, I love him to bits (bisexual or no). He and Adrian make my world._

 **_Luvbug264:_ ** _Are you nervous about how your husband will react to Dan being gay af?_

 **_AnnHowell_:_ ** _Please mind your language! And Dan said he is bisexual, there is a difference! And yes, I am a bit nervous, but if need be I am not afraid to give Desmond a piece of my mind because Dan is our son and the fact that he likes boys as well as girls should never change that! But thank you for your concern :)_

 

** Chat with Desmond-Howell (Desmond Howell - Dan's father) **

_**Annabelle347:** _ _I hate you_

 **_Desmond-Howell:_ ** _I beg your pardon, miss? That's a very rude thing to say. I don't even know who you are!_

 **DeathByPhandom:** _How do you feel about gay people?_

 **_Desmond-Howell:_ ** _This is a complicated subject for me, so please allow me to speak. I was born and raised in a time when being homosexual was frowned upon, and anybody that was openly gay was ridiculed and excluded, and was called a sinner. I believed that it was a sin. But recently, with being gay becoming more and more acceptable by the day (and my wife, Anne, being fully accepting of most people), I've come to understand that I, too, need to try and learn to accept it. It may take me longer than you would like, but I will try._

 **_Luvbug264:_ ** _Why are you such a homophobic prick?_

 **_Desmond-Howell:_ ** _Excuse me, that's a very rude thing to say! And as I just mentioned to the last person, I am trying to accept homosexuality. I apologise if it takes longer than you would like, but my mother and father did a very good job of drilling into me that homosexuality was a sin. If if weren't for my wife, God bless her, I'm sure I'd still think that wholeheartedly. So please, I'm trying. And I think eventually, I will be as accepting as my Anne is._

 **_ProPhangirl21p:_ ** _What's your opinion on the lgbt+ community?_

 **_Desmond-Howell:_ ** _For the LGBT+ community as a whole, my opinion is much the same as homosexuality. I don't want to repeat myself a third time, but as I've said, I am trying._

 **_willow0angel:_ ** _Yikes, you're getting some tough comments getting thrown your way, huh?_

 **_Desmond-Howell:_ ** _Yes, and I don't really appreciate it. Still, I suppose it was coming._

 

** Chat with crabstickz (Chris Kendall) **

**DeathByPhandom:** _You are a great, do you love Peej?_

 **_crabstickz:_ ** _cheers, mate! you're pretty great too! and yeah, I love PJ. I have for a long time, it just took him ages to come around and love me back ;) but we're good now (bout fuckin' time, Peej...)_

 **_Luvbug264:_ ** _How awesome is phan_

 **_crabstickz:_ ** _AWESOME AWESOME TOTALLY FUCKING AWESOME. #OTP, I SHIP IT WITH MY LIFE. Whether Dan and Phil admit it, they are a match made in Heaven!!! Official OTP (after Peej and I, of course, but that's a given)!!!_

 

** Chat with KickThePj (PJ Ligouri) **

**DeathByPhandom:** _You and Chris cute, also do you know if Phil likes Dan?_

 **_KickThePj:_ ** _Thanks! I think we are too, Chris is adorable. And yeah, I thought it was kind of obvious that Phil likes Dan. It's always "Dan this" and "Dan that" and the like. So yep, whether Phil admits it or not, he likes Dan._

 **_Luvbug264:_ ** _Do you love Chris yet?_

 **_KickThePj:_ ** _Of course! I'm kinda annoyed at myself that it took me so long to figure it out, but of course I love Chris._

 **_hslesinski16:_ ** _how much does Phil talk about Dan when you hang out with him?_

 **_KickThePj:_ ** _Let's see... about every second to third sentence? Phil is infatuated with that guy, honestly._

 **_trashywriteromfg:_ ** _what do you think of a double date: kickthestickz & Phan?? hmm?_

 **_KickThePj:_ ** _Sure, I'm in! I'm sure Chris would agree._

 

** Chat with willow0angel (Willow Angel - Me!) **

**DeathByPhandom:** _Thank you for being so amazing and putting up with some of us crazy people you great and what inspired you to first start writing?_

 **_willow0angel:_ ** _Thank you! Honestly, I don't think I'm all that amazing, but it really warms my heart to see that you think that I am. And of course I put up with y'all crazy shits, I love you all! And as for what inspired me to write this story, it was another Phan Kik story called "TEXT ME BACK" by_ [ _melodysplash_ ](https://www.wattpad.com/user/melodysplash) _. I loved that story and thought to myself, 'Self! Why don't I write a kik story, just for fun!' and here we are! I honestly never thought it would get to this point, thank you so much :)_

 **_Luvbug264:_ ** _Do you enjoy writing?_

 **_willow0angel:_ ** _Hells to the YEAH, mate! I love writing too much! I love the feeling of creating my own little universe where anything, anything, can happen! Even if some of my stories crash and burn or I forget about them or I just stop writing them because I have new ideas for new stories, I love each and every story that I begin to plan. Thank god (that may or may not exist) for websites like this, where I can share my love of writing with the world :)_

 **_Annabelle347:_ ** _How old were you when you started writing? What are some tips on coming up with ideas?_

 **_willow0angel:_ ** _Ooh, this is a tough one. I think I was... 7 when I finished my first short story, it was a writing piece for my Grade 2 class. Since then I've gotten into a lot more writing and I've had some writing and poetry published in an Australian Writer's magazine called OzKidsInPrint! As for coming up with ideas, I suggest you draw inspiration from real-life events, experiences and feelings. That's where a lot of my inspiration comes from. Real life can be a great place to start looking for ideas and inspiration. I hope this helped!_

 ** _flaminpotatos:_** _Will you be my friend?_

 **_willow0angel:_ ** _Of course! I love making new friends! :D_

 **_DAN_PHILTRASHFOREVER:_ ** _Can we be friends I don't have any dim I'm very lonely_

 **_willow0angel:_ ** _YES LET'S BE FRIENDS. LET'S ALL BE FRIENDS. I LOVE YOU ALL <3_

 **_macpie_fangirls_47:_ ** _I've been trying to write a Phan story, but can't get started. Any advice?_

 **_willow0angel:_ ** _First, find something to base your story around. Message apps? High school? Fantasy? YouTubers? Try to find something that's inspires you. Then, find a plot that's unique to you. Is one of them secretly a vampire, and the other a vampire hunter? Is one of them transgender? Is one of them a werewolf? Is it the zombie apocalypse? Is it set in 3045? Create your characters and the plotline, make a plan, as detailed as you need it, and then write. That's how I do it. I really hope this helps, and good luck with your story!_

 **_IHasUrSoul:_ ** _Death Note or Black Butler_

 **_willow0angel:_ ** _Bloody hell, you guys have hard questions. But I'm gonna go with Death Note. :D_

 **_ProPhangirl21p:_ ** _Can you be my best friend plz?_

 **_willow0angel:_ ** _Bro, in my opinion, ALL of you guys are my buddies already :D_

 **__THE_FEELS_1016:_ ** _When's your birthday?_

 **_willow0angel:_ ** _9th January :D_

 **_PROTIPS_2003:_ ** _How are you so great at writing?_

 **_willow0angel:_ ** _Aww, thank you <3 And practice, awesome writing teachers and lots of reading :D_

 **_0PhanAndLlamas0:_ ** _Do you love me?_

 **_willow0angel:_ ** _YES. I (platonically) LOVE YOU. I LOVE ALL OF YOU. YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST <3_

 

 

Thank you so much for all of your questions and comments!

You may notice that the format of this chapter is like the format of the kik conversations within the story...~ I wanted it to seem like you guys were in the story, too, and I hope you liked it! I might do another one of these later on :)

I hope you have a wonderful day :)

Catch you on the flip side! PEACE~

~~Willow :)


	20. Juu-Shichi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaand we're back to the story! And yay, long chapter! This is to make up for the last short chapter and last week when I did the Q&A answers instead of a chapter XD
> 
> And yay! Plot progress! Woohoo!
> 
> I like Adrian. He is awesome.
> 
> News! This book is now the first part in the new "YOU HAVE A MESSAGE" series!! This series will consist of YouTube ship fanfictions around different messaging apps! Next there will be PewdieCry, and then Septiplier, and then maybe Troyler, idk. I'm running out of apps XD
> 
> (So far I have kik for this one and Instagram for another one. Any other messaging app suggestions, please?)
> 
> Welp, that's all! I hope you enjoy~ :D

**_crabstickz:_ ** _halp_   
_HALP_   
_HALP PLZ I'M DYING XD_

_**KickThePj:** _ _Don't die on me now, Chris, it hasn't even been six months!_

_**crabstickz:** _ _I'LL TRY TO HOLD OUT UNTIL OUR SIX MONTH ANNIVERSARY_   
_BUY I'M NOT SURE IF I CAN DO IT_

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _and here we prepare to farewell our fellow soldier_

_**KickThePj:** _ _Shut up, Dan._

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _*holds up hands*_   
_*backs away slowly*_

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _Oh yeah, that anniversary is coming up, isn't it?_

_**crabstickz:** _ _Philly forgot >:(_

_**KickThePj:** _ _I think we're the only ones that mark the exact date._

_**crabstickz:** _ _BUT STILL_

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _Oh please, it's like you two have been dating since you met. You just didn't make it official until nearly six months ago._

_**KickThePj:** _ _Whoops._

_**crabstickz:** _ _HE'S ONTO US, PEEJ!_

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _poor third wheel!Phil_

_**crabstickz:** _ _and now, the Fantastic Foursome proudly presents: Jealous!Peej, Dying!Chris, ThirdWheel!Phil and OnlineBoyfriend!Dan !!!!!!!!!!!_   
_*THE CROWD GOES WILD*_

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _Wow._

_**KickThePj:** _ _Wow indeed._

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _I have no words_

_**KickThePj:** _ _I'm not sure any of us do, actually._

_**crabstickz:** _ _and the Amazing Chris strikes again ;)_

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _I'm sorry, but I believe that it is PHIL'S username that has 'Amazing' in it, not yours_

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _Thank you, Dan._

_**crabstickz:** _ _ooohhhh, protective Dannyboy~_

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _shut the fuck up, you_

_**crabstickz:** _ _MAKE ME_

_**KickThePj:** _ _I'd pay to see him try..._

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _it is fucking on_

_**crabstickz:** _ _COME AT ME BRO_   
_M8_

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _No fighting >:(_

_**crabstickz:** _ _I'M SORRY PHILLY, FORGIVE ME_

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _You're forgiven..._

_**crabstickz:** _ _phew..._

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _sorry, Phil_

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _You're forgiven ^~^_

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _yay_

_**crabstickz:** _ _OI_   
_WHY DOES HE GET A HAPPY FACE_   
_oh wait I know why_

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _CHRIS_

_**KickThePj:** _ _For god's sake, Chris..._

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _Chris..._

_**crabstickz:** _ _you guys are ganging up on me again ;^;_

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _you can bet your ass_

_**crabstickz:** _ _I'm not betting my ass, I love my ass! I'm not giving up this care package for the world!_

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _I have run out of words for this conversation_

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _that's probably for the best, tbh_   
_but seriously Chris stfu_

_**crabstickz:** _ _Peej, help me, they're ganging up on meeeee...!!_

_**KickThePj:** _ _I'm sorry, but I'm afraid that it is my duty as a boyfriend to stand up for Chris, so consider this me standing up for him._

_**crabstickz:** _ _oh my god_

_**KickThePj:** _ _What?_

_**crabstickz:** _ _I love you so much_

_**KickThePj:** _ _I love you too._

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _^~^_

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _so cute_   
_I can't handle it rn_

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _I know, they're the cutest~_

_**crabstickz:** _ _thank you~_

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _#relationshipgoalsaf_

_**crabstickz:** _ _oh Danny, you and Phil will be just like this one day~_   
_in fact, I'm screenshotting this so that I can prove it to you when you two get your shit together_   
_so HA_

_**KickThePj:** _ _Chris..._

Dan felt the heat rising to his face again, and he knew that there was no stopping it. Oh well, he'd practically learned to live with it at this point.

**_crabstickz:_ ** _LET A FANBOY SHIP HIS OTP, PEEJ_   
_well, OTP after the two of us, but you get it_   
_please get it ;-;_

_**KickThePj:** _ _Alright, fine, I get it..._

_**crabstickz:** _ _WOOHOO_

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _Ugh, I'm not even going to bother._

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _me neither_

_**crabstickz:** _ _I WIN, FUCK YEAH_

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _STFU_

_**crabstickz:** _ _oh shit, Danny is angry_   
_how many traits can we have for Dan at once, jesus_   
_I don't know what jesus has to do with any of this_

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _he's shaking his head at you_

_**KickThePj:** _ _He's shaking his head at all of us._

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _Probably._

_**crabstickz:** _ _oh lord, imagine what he'll think when we all get together_

Dan smiled. Only Chris would bring up the subject of them actually meeting up and hanging out.

**_KickThePj:_ ** _Oh lord indeed._

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _Wait, get together?_

_**crabstickz:** _ _yeah, mate, get together. as in the four of us. hang out._   
_don't kill me pls, but I've been planning this for the past two weeks._

Okay, Dan, now is not the time to panic, now is not the time to panic, don't panic, don't panic don't panic _oh god, I'm panicking-_

**_AmazingPhil:_ ** _Chris_

_**KickThePj:** _ _Chris_

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _Chris, what the fuck are you talking about._

_**crabstickz:** _ _um_   
_do you guys have any plans this weekend...?_

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _I literally just facepalmed_

_**KickThePj:** _ _Chris, you do not just spring these things on people, you pinhead._

_**crabstickz:** _ _jeez, I love you too._

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _I cannot think of words right now._

_**crabstickz:** _ _then just answer the question!_   
_I really want the four of us to hang out, okay?_   
_I know that three of the four of us already know each other IRL, but I still want us to hang out as a group._   
_okay???_

The chat was silent for a moment as everyone digested this information. Dan wanted to say that he'd been wanting to meet those guys for a long time.

**_crabstickz:_ ** _and, of course, I want to meet my favourite Dannyboy._

_**KickThePj:** _ _Oh, fuck it._   
_I'm free._   
_And yeah, I really want to meet Dan too._

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _Me too!_   
_And I'm good this weekend._

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _I want to meet you guys, too_   
_and seeing as my family is known for going out at the snap of a finger, let me check_

_**KickThePj:** _ _Alright :)_

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _Okay!_

_**crabstickz:** _ _DO IT._

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _I'm doing it, calm down. gimme a few minutes, I'll be back soon_

Dan locked his phone and heaved himself off his bed. His heart was racing and there was nothing he could do about it, so he tried to ignore it. He had to go and ask his parents.

Come on, Dan, you can do this. It's one question, he told himself, and it sort of worked.

He went downstairs to find his mother and father in the lounge - his father was watching TV and his mother had a thick novel in one hand and a coffee cup in the other.

He took a deep breath and leant against the doorframe.

"Hey, are we doing anything this weekend?" he asked, trying to sound casual.

His parents looked at each other for a moment, thinking, and then his mother answered, "No, I don't think so. Why?"

Dan tried to calm his racing heart. "I was just wondering if I could go out with some friends sometime over the weekend," he replied, and he saw his father's eyebrows go up so high they almost disappeared into his receded hairline and his mother's mouth turned up into a small grin.

"Since when do you 'go out with friends'?" Ann teased, setting her coffee mug down and resting her book on her lap.

Dan rolled his eyes. "Shut up," he shot back. "It's Phil, Chris and PJ."

Ann's grin widened. "Ahh," she said. "I should have known."

"Shut up," Dan mumbled.

Anne flicked an eyebrow up. "It's okay with me, hon, as long as you know the rules."

"Yes, Mum," Dan sighed. Public place, phone on hand, don't go anywhere private, the whole drill, he knew it all.

Desmond just looked confused. "Who are they, really?" he asked firmly.

Dan and Ann exchanged a concerned glance.

"I'll handle this," Ann said, much to Dan's relief. "You go and organise it, and tell me what you four decide, okay?"

Dan smiled. "Okay," he said. "Thank you!"

And with that, he turned and speedwalked his way back up to his room. He took the stairs two at a time in his joy.

He had reached the door of his room when a familiar voice called out to him from the hallway, "Dan?"

Dan turned to see twelve-year-old Adrian standing there, leaning against the cream walls.

"What's up?" Dan asked.

"Can I talk to you?" Adrian asked, sounding a little nervous.

Although confused, Dan said, "Sure, wanna come in?" Adrian nodded, and followed Dan into his room.

Adrian sat down on Dan's bed, and Dan took a seat beside him. "Is everything okay, Ady?" he asked.

Adrian nodded. "I just want to tell you something."

Dan waited patiently for him to elaborate.

Ady twiddled his thumbs in his lap. "I just wanted to let you know that it's okay. Whatever happens with Phil, it's okay."

Dan furrowed his brow, but he had a feeling he knew what his little brother was talking about, even though he didn't want to show it.

"I don't know what you m-"

"I know that you like Phil, okay?" Ady interrupted, holding his hands up. "I can tell. You're so happy when you talk about him, and you get so angry when Dad says something bad about having an internet friend or whatever, and I hear you Skyping him and those other guys a lot, and... I can just tell, okay?"

Dan fell silent, and just looked down at his lap, clasping his hands together.

Ady sighed. "I just wanted to tell you that whether you like boys in that way or not, or whether you like girls and boys or whatever, it's okay."

Dan looked over at his little brother so quickly that his neck cricked. Ady was looking up at him with determination in his eyes.

"You're still my brother," Ady concluded. "And you're still a pain in the neck no matter who you like, so it doesn't really matter."

And now it's back to something more normal.

Dan smiled down at Ady, before impulsively pulling him into a hug. Ady froze at first, because Dan rarely gave hugs, but quickly returned to gesture.

"Thank you," Dan mumbled into his little brother's dark brown hair. "Thank you so much."

"No worries, bro," Ady replied softly.

They stayed like that for a little bit before they finally pulled away from each other.

"So which one are you, anyway?" Ady asked.

"Bisexual," Dan answered. "I like boys and girls."

"But you like Phil most of all, right?" Ady teased, and Dan softly whacked him over the back of the head. "Hey!"

"Shut up, you."

Ady grinned. "Phil's a nice guy," he said. "I think you two would be good together."

"Cheers."

"I mean it!"

"So do I."

Ady sighed exasperatedly, and stood up. "Well, that's that," he said. "I'm outta here."

"Seeya, kid," Dan replied, and Ady left the room, closing the door behind him.

Dan pulled out his phone again.

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _guess what!_

_**crabstickz:** _ _OMG_

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _You can come???_

_**KickThePj:** _ _Please say you can come...!_

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _I CAN COME._

_**KickThePj:** _ _YES!_

_**crabstickz:** _ _WOOHOO!!!_

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _YAY!!!!!_

_**crabstickz:** _ _I HEREBY DECLARE THAT THE FANTASTIC FOURSOME WILL OFFICIALLY MEET THIS WEEKEND._   
_IT IS GOING TO BE EPIC._

Dan smiled.

Something was finally happening.

And he couldn't be any happier about it.


	21. Juu-Hachi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this chapter's a bit all over the place because I suddenly thought of some extra chapters (from other people's points of view) that I might put in at the very end of this story when it all comes to a close :)
> 
> Oh god I don't want to think about that yet I'm not ready ;-;
> 
> I also want to take the time to acknowledge the horror that happened in Orlando not long ago. If any of you live in or near Orlando, know what my thoughts and prayers are with you guys <3 and, of course, with everyone here that is part of the LGBT+ community. I'm gay myself, and recently I'm more terrified of coming out than ever before, because I now know that people have the capacity and the means to do these awful things.
> 
> But I release this chapter of a book with a cutesie gay couple because it makes me feel better, and I hope it makes you feel better too <3
> 
> *hands you a rainbow wristband* I hope you wear this virtual rainbow wristband with pride :)
> 
> And I hope you enjoy the chapter! :D
> 
> (PS: I know nothing about English geography other than the quick five-minute Googling I did, and then I made up the ticket price according to Australian train ticket prices so I'm sorry if I screwed up XD)

Needless to say, it was way too early in the week.

**_AmazingPhil:_ ** _Hold up a sec, Chris, we need to sort out a place and time._   
_Wait, where does Dan even live???_

_**crabstickz:** _ _that is a bloody good point_

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _didn't even think of that one, did you Chris?_

_**crabstickz:** _ _#spud_   
_#spudlife_   
_*facepamls*_   
_OH FOR FUCKS SAKE_

_**KickThePj** _ _: So whereabouts are you, anyway, Dan?_

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _Reading_

_**KickThePj:** _ _Wow._

_crabstickz: are you fucking kidding me_   
_it will take you nearly three and a half hours to get here_

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _The three of us live in Manchester :/_

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _are you fucking kidding me_   
_it will take me nearly three and a half hours to get there_

_**crabstickz:** _ _STOP COPYING ME_

_**KickThePj:** _ _That is a long time by tube, at least._

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _I've done it once before, I think my parents took me there when I was a kid._   
_Maybe I even saw you :D_

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _doubt it, I used to live in Berkshire_

_**KickThePj:** _ _Nice._

_**crabstickz:** _ _AWW_   
_OUR DANNYBOY IS PRACTICALLY THE QUEEN_

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _shut. the. fuck. up._

_**crabstickz:** _ _you even have the accent to match!!_

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _SHUT UP_

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _I just looked up tube times, and it might cost a fair bit to get from there to here and back, depending on which train you take._

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _oh fuck_

_**crabstickz:** _ _NEVER FEAR_   
_THIS IS GOING TO HAPPEN WHETHER OUR WALLETS LIKE IT OR NOT *^*_

_**KickThePj:** _ _Agreed!_

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _oh boy_

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _Don't worry, we'll work something out in the end :)_

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _I know (:_

_**crabstickz:** _ _*fanboying in the background*_

_**KickThePj:** _ _We'd also have to leave pretty early in the morning, too, if we want to get somewhere at a civilised hour._

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _so who's going where, exactly? I'm confused_

_**crabstickz:** _ _Danny is confuzzled_

_**KickThePj:** _ _I figured that your parents probably wouldn't like you, a single person, going three hours away to meet three strange people you met online, so I thought it would be better for us to go there first._

Dan thought about that. PJ had a very good point. His father would just flat out refuse and his mother, however much she may seem to like the three boys, would probably still be against the idea of one person going to three.

**_AmazingPhil:_ ** _Good thinking._

_**crabstickz:** _ _that makes sense._   
_goddamnit._   
_our conversations aren't meant to make sense._

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _that's a good point though_

_**KickThePj:** _ _If it makes them feel any better, one of your parents can be in the background if you like._   
_We can meet up at a cafe or something, and they can sit close by if they want to._

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _you kidding me, my mum will definitely want to come_   
_she actually really likes you lot_

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _Yay~_

_**crabstickz:** _ _we are pretty awesome guys_

_**KickThePj:** _ _Chris is awesome and hot, so there's that_

_**crabstickz:** _ _you smooth motherfucker_   
_but yes, you're right_

_**KickThePj:** _ _I love you too_

_**crabstickz:** _ _;) I know you do <3_

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _you guys are the kind of couple that Tumblr fangirls ship_

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _Too true._

_**crabstickz:** _ _*wipes tear* that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said about me_

_**KickThePj:** _ _Hey!_

_**crabstickz:** _ _oh shit_

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _Dying!Chris is now officially Dead!Chris_

_**crabstickz:** _ _you're probably right_

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _No, he's definitely right._

_**crabstickz:** _ _the nicest thing anyone's ever said about US***_   
_is that better? ;-;_

_**KickThePj:** _ _Yes. Yes it is._

_**crabstickz:** _ _phew..._   
_(I'm actually at Peej's rn and he was silently glaring daggers at me for about ten seconds and it was scary shit)_

_**KickThePj:** _ _I'm watching you, Chris._

_**crabstickz:** _ _I know you are ;);););););)_

_**KickThePj:** _ _..._

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _PJ is so done rn_

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _Yup_   
_This conversation has gotten way off track, can we get back to it please?_

_**crabstickz:** _ _yes pls_

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _fine by me_

_**KickThePj:** _ _Sounds good._

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _Can we Skype please? It's going to be a little easier that way._

_**KickThePj:** _ _Sure, let me get my laptop._

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _same_

Dan rolled off his bed and went to grab his laptop, opening it and powering it on as he say back down on the bed. He could not see the appeal of sitting in a desk chair at the moment.

With a few slow minutes of the laptop booting up and swearing at the ever-updating Skype, they were finally talking through crappy microphones and grainy webcams. They were all sitting on their beds, Phil on his brightly-coloured duvet, and Chris and PJ in the same light-blue place with Chris adorably leaning his head on PJ's shoulder, and PJ's arm was resting on his shoulder and his fingers gently stroking through Chris's hair.

"I can't believe it's going to take nearly three and a half hours," Chris complained.

"It'll be worth it, though, right?" PJ reassured him, squeezing his shoulder.

"Sure will," Phil chimed in with a grin bright enough to rival suns.

 _Okay, Dan, that's enough of that,_ Dan thought firmly. _No. Now is not the time._

Dan just smiled and nodded - the others knew he didn't talk when not necessary.

Phil's bright blue eyes were staring at his laptop screen, and Dan heard the faint inconsistent tapping of keys. It looked like he was just scrolling down a page.

"What's the news, Philly?" Chris asked.

"It'll cost about twenty pounds each way per person," Phil said. "I guess that's not too bad." PJ nodded thoughtfully.

"At least I'm not broke anymore," Chris mumbled.

Dan laughed. "I guess Mum and I are buying lunch, then," he said.

"Guess so," Chris agreed. PJ whacked him upside the head. "Oww," Chris whined, turning his head to glare st his calm-faved boyfriend. "What was that for?" he demanded.

"Don't be rude," PJ scolded.

"It's okay, really," Dan insisted. "We'll shout lunch, we can't expect you guys to."

"Thank you, Dan," Phil said with a kind smile, and Dan's heart stuttered in his chest.

He faintly registered Chris raise an eyebrow, a smug look on his face.

"No worries," Dan replied.

A thought flitted into his brain - this weekend, he'd be able to see Phil, to really see him. He'd be able to see that amazing black hair, that beautiful bright smile, and those gorgeous blue eyes.

The end of the week couldn't possibly come fast enough.


	22. Juu-Kyuu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know nothing about English geography, I made this up as I went along.
> 
> I spent too much time yesterday reading Malec, haha XD  
> Can I just say that I watched Brokeback Mountain today and it's okay I didn't really need my heart anyway  
> I also watched Zootopia and Captain America: Civil War and I LOVE THEM!
> 
> That's enough of my random ramblings. Here comes ANGST~
> 
> I hope you enjoy the chapter! :D
> 
> (CHAPTER 19 HOLY SHITE)

It took a long time, but they finally settled on a time and place to meet, as long as Dan's dad didn't flip his shit.

Which could, of course, very well happen.

They'd chosen a little cafe about twenty minutes away from where Dan lived. Phil, Chris and PJ would catch the tube from Manchester to Reading, and then walk the few streets to the cafe where Dan would be waiting. They'd settled on about 1:45 PM as their meeting time, and the three of them would (unfortunately) have to leave at about 5 o'clock. They'd have a little over three hours together, which seemed pretty reasonable for a first meeting, in Dan's opinion.

But in Dan's secret opinion, three hours wasn't nearly long enough.

They were still on Skype to each other, Phil still smiling and Chris still leaning his head on PJ's shoulder. Good god, Chris and PJ were the most adorable couple ever.

"I can't wait," PJ said with a smile as he combed his fingers through Chris's hair.

"Neither can I!" Chris said loudly, with a wide smile on his face.

"Me neither," Phil added with a grin. Dan couldn't get enough of that beautiful smile. He could barely stand having to wait until the weekend to see it in person.

Dan smiled. "Me either," he said.

"Three whole hours," Chris said, sighing. "Not long enough, in my opinion."

Was Chris a freaking mind reader or something?

Dan raised his eyebrows. "Any longer than that and I'll start deteriorating into the most awkward little shit you've ever known," he laughed, "so maybe that's a good thing."

Phil laughed, his tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth slightly. PJ grinned, and Chris waved a hand dismissively.

"We'll love you whether you're awkward or not," he said passively. "Don't worry so much, Danny-boy."

Suddenly, Chris twisted around and whispered into PJ's ear. PJ's grin fell and his mouth formed an 'o' shape.

He whacked Chris over the head. "Chris!" he exclaimed. "You do not say stuff like that!"

Dan was immediately worried. So was Phil, evident by the way his smile fell like a sack of bricks.

"What?" Chris replied innocently. "You know it's true."

"You still do not say things like that!"

"Say what?" Phil asked.

"I can say it if it's true!"

"There are some things better off unsaid until the appropriate time, Chris!"

"Guys?" Dan tried, but it fell onto deaf ears.

"I didn't say it loudly, give me some credit!"

"What did he say?" Dan and Phil ended up yelling in unison.

Chris and PJ stopped bickering long enough to fall into quiet laughter, Chris leaning into PJ.

"Some things are better off unsaid, apparently," Chris said in between giggles.

PJ's hand was back in Chris's hair, hugging Chris into him. "That they are," he laughed.

Dan was thoroughly confused by this point.

Chris and PJ were saved from further interrogation by a knock on Dan's door. Dan looked over as Adrian walked in shyly.

"Hey," he said, a small smile on his face.

Dan smiled back. "Hey, Ady," he replied. "What's up?"

"Hi, Adrian!" Chris called out, and Dan turned the laptop so Ady would see the wave.

Ady gave a small wave back, his smile widening slightly. "Hey guys," he said in greeting.

"Hey Ady!"

"Hi Ady!"

"Hi," Ady replied.

"What's up?" Dan asked again, turning the laptop back.

Ady bit his lip, and Dan's heart sank to his stomach. "Mum and Dad want to talk to you," Ady finally said quietly, and Dan noticed him wringing his hands nervously. "Dad looks kinda mad," he continued. "Mum's trying to calm him down but I'm not sure if it's working and he's pacing up and down and I don't know what's going on!" He stopped, taking a deep breath.

"Is everything alright, Dan?" Phil asked.

Dan looked back at them and the three of them immediately tensed, seeing Dan's face.

"I have to go," Dan said. "I'll message you guys when I'm back, okay?"

"Okay," Phil replied quietly, before looking down.

"I'll come down early to punch him in the face if you want!" Chris offered. PJ rolled his eyes.

"Good luck," he said.

Dan placed a small smile on his face. "Thanks," he said. "Seeya." And he hung up the ca and closed his laptop.

His phone buzzed, and Dan saw that it was a kik message from Phil. At first, it was just a line of numbers, before Dan realised that it was-

**_AmazingPhil:_ ** _My phone number._   
_Just in case._

Dan smiled, his heart racing as he typed out a reply.

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _thank you, Phil_   
_I mean it_

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _No worries :) call me later if you want._   
_Good luck <3_

Dan smiled despite the situation. He looked up at Ady, who had a small, knowing smile on his face, too.

"It's Phil, isn't it?" Ady asked.

Dan didn't even bother denying it; he just smiled and looked down. Somehow, Phil giving him luck filled him with that little bit of hope and courage and determination he needed.

Ady came over and sat beside him on the bed.

"Whatever happens," Ady started, then swallowed. "Whatever happens, I'm here for you, okay? I just wanted you to know that. You're my brother."

Dan just looked at his little brother, who was staring at the floor, his hands gripping the side of the bed. He wrapped an arm around the kid's shoulders, and Ady leaned into him a little.

Suddenly Ady started trembling, and Dan was terrified.

"I don't think I've ever seen Dad like that," Ady whispered.

Dan chewed on his lip. "It's gonna be okay," he said. "I promise it's going to be okay in the end."

"How do you know?"

Dan didn't answer for a while.

"I don't."

"Dan!" came a masculine roar from downstairs, and the two brothers flinched.

They stood up, and Dan prepared himself. He and Ady walked downstairs together, side by side.

Ann and Desmond were in the lounge where Dan had left them. His mother was looking distressed, his father a mix of angry, confused and deadpan.

Ann came over to him. "Dan," she said softly. "I've tried, I really have, I promise, but... your father still doesn't really understand."

"No, I don't!" Desmond said loudly. "Why should you be going to meet some strange people you met on some website or something?!"

Dan didn't really know what to say. "Because I want to!" he said. "I've been wanting to for ages!"

"And this Phil character that you keep talking about-"

"He's not a character!" Dan shot back.

"And how do you know that?" His father was nearly yelling now, and Dan could feel Ady shrinking back behind him.

"Phil is my best friend!" Dan's tone raised to match his father's.

"He's an imaginary person that could be dangerous!"

"He is not dangerous!"

"Those other two you mentioned might be!"

Dan resisted the urge to roll his eyes and walk away. "They are not dangerous! I've Skyped them so many times and they are the best people I've ever met!"

"They are characters behind a screen, Daniel!"

"They are not characters!"

"They're really not," Ady finally spoke up, and all the attention turned to him. "I've talked to them too. They're good people."

Desmond pointed to Ady threateningly. "You are not part of this conversation, Adrian" he warned.

"I am now," Ady retorted.

"Please, stay out of this, Adrian," Ann begged.

"These are my brother's friends, Mum!"

" _Enough!_ " Dan found himself yelling. Everyone fell silent. Dan stared at his father, breathing heavily. "That little brown cafe, about twenty minutes from here? One forty-five PM, this Saturday. That's when we're meeting."

At that, Dan turned on his heel and stormed out of the room.

"Dan!" his father called after him, but he ignored him, pulling his phone out of his pocket. He copied the number into his phone and called it as he took the stairs up to his room two at a time.

It rang once, twice as Dan flung open the door of his room and slammed it behind him, turning around and leaning against it.

Finally, someone picked up. "Hello?" Phil's beautiful voice rang through the speakers, and Dan slid down the door in relief.

"Phil," he breathed. "It's Dan."

"Dan!" Phil's tone was much more urgent now. "Are you okay? What happened? Is Ady okay? Is everything alright?" He kept firing question after question in typical Phil fashion, and Dan smiled despite himself.

"No," he said, tears threatening to fall. "I'm not okay."

"What happened?"

Dan told him. He told him every detail, from start to finish, and by the end tears were rolling down his cheeks.

"I'm scared, Phil," he said.

"It's okay," Phil said softly. "I'm here. It's okay, you're okay, everything will work out, I promise. It's okay."

Phil kept saying those little promises for what could have been hours afterwards, gently reassuring Dan. Dan wanted to say them back so badly, but he couldn't find the energy or the strength.

"It's okay, I promise. I'm here for you."

_I love you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS IT. This is the end of my cross-posting! I have caught up with all the chapters on Wattpad :D So now there will hopefully be weekly to fortnightly updates, as this is the only story I have with half an upload schedule, haha~
> 
> So I hope you've enjoyed the story so far, and thank you for reading :)


	23. Ni-juu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy. Fucking. Shit guys. We did it. Guys/gals/other, welcome to chapter motherfucking twenty.
> 
> This is a milestone and a half. It's been six months, twenty chapters (oh god that isn't much, is it?) and a whole fuckload of you lovely, wonderful, awesome, amazing people have flocked in to read this 1am story idea.
> 
> You guys have no idea how much this means to me, honestly, this is absolutely amazing. I'm almost crying from happiness as I'm typing this.
> 
> Thank you for all the reads, votes and the lovely comments. Thanks for listening to me rant, and thanks for understanding that things can come in the way of me and this story. Thank for for being patient for updates, thank you, thank you, thank you. I can't thank you enough.
> 
> I'm sorry that this chapter isn't very good as a 20 Chapters celebration, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless :)
> 
> This chapter is dedicated to everyone that is reading this, right now. That's right, YOU. I'm talking to you. You, you amazing wonderful amazing person you. You have helped me get here, helped me get to this point, and you have helped my writing and my confidence grow. You. Are. Amazing. And I don't know what I'd do without you.
> 
> So thank you for reading, and thank you for everything. If I could hug you and kiss you on the cheek, I would ^~^ with your consent, of course. I know some of you may not be into that sort of physical contact. But hey, that's okay :)
> 
> *gives you virtual hug*
> 
> Well, I hope you enjoy! :D

_No._

No, he shouldn't be thinking that. No, no no nonononono. There was no reason in the world that he would be thinking that, there was no reason why he should.

Well, no reason, except for one. A reason that Dan couldn't speak aloud yet, especially with Phil right on the other end of the phone.

Phil was still telling him that everything would be okay, that he was there, that it didn't matter what Dan's father thought because "I'm right here, Dan, and I'm not going anywhere."

"Good," Dan whispered back, and he heard Phil giggle.

"Why on Earth would I be going anywhere?" Phil asked, and Dan faltered.

"I..." he started, trailing off.

"See?" Phil said, and Dan could almost hear that cute smile in his voice.

_Stop it, Dan!_

"There is no reason," Phil went on, "that I would ever abandon you, especially at a time like this."

Dan completely sagged against the door, almost going limp with happiness. "Thank you," he said weakly.

"What are friends for?" Phil said. Dan thought that this tone of Phil's voice was a little strange. It was happy, but didn't have any of the normal bounce in his tone that it did when he was happy. It was calm, almost... content. Content, just like Dan was every time he talked to the beautiful boy.

Dan didn't answer, just smiled, and somehow he knew that Phil could tell.

"Feeling any better?" Phil asked.

"Yeah," Dan managed to say in a strangled tone. "A little, yeah, thank you."

"Anytime." Phil's bright and bouncy tone was back. "So, do you want me to just talk for a while? You know I talk about the randomest things and it might help take your mind off it?" he suggested.

"I'd love that," Dan replied quietly, and he used the wall to push himself onto his feet. He slowly made his way over to the bed, feet dragging on the wooden floor, and moved his laptop onto the floor before collapsing onto the soft covers.

"Okay, so," Phil started, "you know how ny house is haunted, right? So today I heard this really creepy noise downstairs..."

Dan set his phone to loudspeaker and curled up on the bed, phone on the pillow above him. He listened to Phil chatter about anything and everything, jumping from one topic to another and somehow making it flow. He didn't seem to expect Dan to answer (which Dan was extremely grateful for), he just kept on talking. Dan felt himself relaxing, and eventually found himself dozing off.

He must have fallen asleep at some point, because he jerked awake at a knock on his door. He sat up and looked at his phone, too see that the call had hung up and there was a kik message in the notifications bar. He tapped into it to see a message from Phil.

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _I heard that you'd fallen asleep, so I hung up. I've saved your number to my phone, too._   
_Please call me again if you need anything. I promise I'll be here :) x_

Dan smiled, and the gentle knock on his door came back. "Dan?" a little voice said, and it sounded too scared for Dan's comfort. "Can I come in?"

"Yeah," Dan called back, his voice groggy. The door creaked open as Dan turned back to his phone and quickly typed out a message for Phil.

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _thank you so much. I'm awake now, but I gotta talk to Ady first. talk soon (:_

As usual, Phil typed back almost straight away.

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _Of course! :)_

Dan locked his phone and looked over at his little brother, who looked like he was struggling not to cry, making Dan stop.

"Are you okay?" Dan asked, swinging his legs over the side of the bed.

Ady laughed a little and ran a hand through his hair, only a shade kighter than Dan's. "Shouldn't I be asking you that?" he said. "I mean, you're the one that got yelled at and all." His voice broke towards the end of his sentence, and he buried his face in his hands and groaned.

"You'd think so, huh?" Dan couldn't help saying, a small smirk finding its way onto his face.

Ady just looked hp at him, a hopeless expression on his face, and Dan's smirk fell to a small, sad smile. He held up an arm and gestured to the bed beside him. Ady walked over and sat down, looking down at the floor.

"I'm sorry," Ady said, his voice barely more than a whisper.

Dan nudged him gently. "Why are you apologising? It's not your fault."

Ady shrugged. "It's just... I've never seen him that angry before, or at least not for a long time. I didn't know what to do."

Dan just looked at him, this vulnerable to little boy that didn't know what to do with himself. In this instant, he reminded Dan so much of himself. That big-brotherly urge to protect this boy filled his heart, and Dan didn't want Ady to grow up lile he had, with no clear direction of what he wanted to do with his life. Ady had never really taken interest in relationships like most ppeople his age did (and like Dan had, if he was honest with himself), and he spent most of his time watching TV and listening to music. He'd always acted like he didn't give a fuck about anything, but at this moment, Ady looked like he really meedsd someone to point him in a direction.

Dan ruffled his little brother's hair. "There was nothing you could have done," he said gently. "It was between me and him. You weren't expected to do anything."

Ady looked up at the ceiling and leant back on his hands. "But that's just it," he said exasperatedly. "I never do anything! You're always looking out for me and sticking up for me, and for once I just wanted to help my brother out, and I fucked it up."

Dan sighed, not completely sure of what he was supposed to say. They both sat in silence for a little while. Then Dan thought of something, and he smiled.

"Y'know what?" he asked. "We've both fucked up, it's part of life. And I've been doing nothing but, well, nothing, for too many years. But recently, I've wanted to try again."

They looked at each other, and Ady gave him a knowing look. "So, why don't we both try?" Dan went on. "I will if you will."

Ady smiled, and held up a fist. Dan grinned and fist-bumped him, knowing that they both agreed.

"C'mere," Dan said, pulling Ady into a headlock and ruffling his hair up.

"Hey!" Ady said loudly, pushing at Dan's hair. "Lemme go, dickhead!"

Dan just held on tighter. "Nup," he laughed.

There was another knock at his door, and Dan looked up to see his mother leaning against the doorframe. She frowned when she saw what was happening, and then she sighed.

"Dan, let go of your brother," she said disapprovingly. Dan finally let Ady out of his grip, who shoved him sideways. Dan shoved him back, and Ann said, "Oi," in an annoyed tone, and the two boys stopped.

Ann stepped into the room and closed the door behind her. "Sorry for eavesdropping, but I heard what you said, Dan," she admitted. Dan flushed and looked away. "I'm so proud of both of you," she went on, and suddenly she had the attention of both of her sons. "I guess even as a mother, I can't do everything. Sometimes you need a brother (she looked at Ady) and a best friend (she turned to Dan) to give you that little push, I guess."

Ady suddenly coughed into his hand, but Dan definitely heard the word "Boyfriend" in the middle there. Dan hit him over the head, hard, and Ady let out another "Hey!"

Ann giggled and Ady grinned, and Dan couldn't help a smile and a blush.

"I am sorry about your father," Ann said. "I've asked him not to interfere unless absolutely necessary, and he's agreed. So I guess we'll see what happens now?"

Dan nodded, suddenly feeling happy again.  
  


When Saturday came, Dan woke up way too early, and he'd never felt more nervous in his life.


	24. Ni-juu-ichi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AKA twenty øne for all you top fans out there
> 
> Chapter 21!! I'm emotional. It's been so long, and we've come so far. Once again, thank you all!
> 
> I ALMOST HAD A FLUFF ATTACK WHILE WRITING THIS CHAPTER ASDFGHJKL
> 
> So I got back from camp the day that I started writing this and I was suuuuper tired and I did a super-speedy edit so please excuse any typos... but still! Camp! VicSRC Congress! SO FUN!
> 
> The fish puns in this chapter are courtesy of the amazing MatPat in one of his latest Film Theory episodes, you can find the puns in it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T3b8_dQMeWw . They were too good not to use, tbh.
> 
> This chapter is dedicated to everyone I went to Congress with, even if they aren't reading this :p go check out my Insta @ willow0angel to see a bunch of Congress posts! :D
> 
> *gives you awesome masks because we had a Masquerade Gala Dinner at Congress AND GUESS WHO WON BEST DRESSED?? ME, THAT'S WHO!*

Somehow, despite staying up until two o'clock in the morning browsing Tumblr (the three amigos had gone to sleep early so they were awake to catch the train), Dan woke up at nine. There were nearly five whole hours until he met up with Phil, Chris and PJ.

Oh boy oh _boy oh boy_ he couldn't wait that long.

His father did a good job of being absent that day, having organised... something, Dan wasn't too sure.

But Ann and Ady definitely noticed how much he was fidgeting, and did their best to calm him down.

In the end the three of them just sat on the couch and Mario Kart for hours, just to pass the time. Dan kept beating everyone, and it was wonderful.

But when his phone buzzed, he practically pounced on it. It was a text from Phil.

**_Philly:_ **   
_Don't have data, oops! We're almost at the Reading station, so we'll see you in a little over 30min :) can't wait!_

Dan's face broke out into a wide grin, and Ady leaned over his shoulder to read the text.

"You put him in your phone as 'Philly'?" he scoffed. "That is so cheesy."

 _It's meant to be cheesy,_ Dan thought, slightly embarrassed. After all, Phil called him Danny, so why couldn't Dan call him Philly? It only seemed fair.

Dan pushed him away, and read out the text to Ann. Ann dropped her steering wheel controller on the couch next to her and waved her hands up and down a few times before running her fingers through her brunette hair and standing up.

"Okay then," she said, excitement flooding her voice and her expression. "Let's do this then!"

She pushed the button to turn the TV off so hard Dan wouldn't have been surprised if it broke. She looked so much more excited than a normal mother should have been.

Dan typed out a quick text to Phil.

_Leaving home now, see you soon (: I can't wait either!!_

**_Philly:_ **   
_Yay! See you in a bit!_

Dan stood up and shoved his phone in his pocket, hand automatically going up to adjust his fringe. Ady batted his hand down, and Dan glared at him.

"Don't start," Ann said exaspetatedly as Dan opened his mouth. He shut it again and Ady smirked, so Dan whacked him on the head.

Ann rolled her eyes and stalked over to start pushing them towards the door. "Come on, let's go already!"

The twenty-minute drive to the cafe felt like twenty hours, if Dan was honest. When they finally got there, Dan was glad that he chose this place. It was nice and small without being too small. It was cozy, and when he pushed open the door he was immediately greeted by warmth and the smell of coffee, chocolate and pastries. Dan sat at a table for four, while his mother and brother sat on a two-person table nearby. Dan pulled out his phone and started scrolling Tumblr to pass the time as he sipped a coffee, but it did nothing to stop the butterflies in his stomach from giving him a hard time.

He kept checking the clock on his phone every ten seconds, he was that nervous. He tried to act calm, but he was sure everyone could see the way his heel was bouncing up and down. Every time the door opened he glanced up, only to be disappointed that it wasn't them.

In those ten minutes, he was abnormally aware of everything. All the sounds of people talking, of the people behind the counter calling out to each other, to the sounds of the coffee machines and the quiet music playing from a raido. He couldn't block the sounds out. He was so alert and on edge that everything seemed amplified.

But as promised, it was a little over ten minutes later when the door opened and Dan looked up and was immediately frozen as he stared into a pair of ocean-blue eyes.

Phil.

He just looked at Phil, taking in everything about him in just one second. The way his eyes shimmered. His hair so black it stood out against his pale skin. The nice jacket he was wearing, the amazing clothes. And his smile, bright enough to rival the sun.

Dan came back down to Earth long enough to feel a huge grin forming on his face, and he saw Phil walking towards him. He stood up and only got to take a few steps before he met Phil in a deep hug. Phil was taller than him by a few inches, so he had to stretch up. Sadly, the hug only lasted a few seconds before they pulled away from each other, standing a little way apart.

"Hey Dan," Phil finally said, and his voice was even more perfect in real life.

"Hi Phil," Dan replied. He could barely breathe and his heart was going so fast.

"Hey, Dan!" another voice chimed in, and they both looked around to see a grinning Chris pulling along a grinning PJ by the hand. "Do we get a hug too?"

Dan smiled, and Chris pulled away from PJ long enough to pull him into a brief hug.

"Aw man, it's so cool to finally meet you!" Chris said, moving away after a second.

"Y-you too," Dan stuttered slightly, a little overwhelmed.

Thankfully, PJ just held out his hand, which Dan (awkwardly, being a lefty) shook. PJ smiled. "Nice to meet you, Dan," he said, and Dan replied in kind.

They all sat around the table that Dan had been sitting at, and Dan noticed that Chris and PJ were once again holding hands. They were an even cuter couple in real life.

"So!" Chris said happily. "What do we do to make this less awkward?"

PJ rolled his eyes, and Dan awkwardly smiled. "Just talk about something," PJ said. "You and Phil are the conversation experts, I'm sure you can come up with something."

Chris raised his eyebrows. "What so you want to talk about, fish?"

Dan raised an eyebrow. "Oh no, then I would be forced to bring out all of my fish-related puns."

"Oh no," Phil said.

"It's pretty obvious that it would be a _turtle_ disaster, I know," Dan went on, trying to stop a wicked grin.

"I like you," Chris said.

"You mean you didn't like him before?" PJ asked, and Chris rolled his eyes.

Phil was staring at Dan with a complete 'Did you just' look on his face.

"I'm sorry," Dan said, "I swear I didn't do that on _porpoise_!"

Phil smiled and shook his head. "I think you need to _clam_ down, Dan," he said, and all four of them broke down into quiet laughter.

"Oh, the hu- _manatee_ ," Chris added with a wink.

PJ grinned. "We need to stop these puns, I think it's time to call a _sturgeon_."

Dan was shaking with silent laughter. This felt like the most he'd laughed in too long.

And like they did on Kik and Skype, their conversation just kept going, switching subjects naturally, and Dan took every chance he could to look at Phil when nobody was looking. He admired everything about this boy, absolutely everything.

Phil was just too good to be true, in his opinion.

After a couple of hours of aimless chatter, he excused himself to go to the bathroom to clear his head. When he got in there, it was thankfully empty. He leant against the sink and looked at himself in the mirror. He was smiling, his dimples popping out. He looked... happy. He didn't remember looking at himself and thinking this for a long, long time. He felt like it was a good thing he felt this way.

Not to mention that fuzzy feeling he got in his heart whenever Phil spoke, whenever Phil looked at him, whenever their skin brushed against each other... He could barely breathe around that boy.

The door to the bathroom opened and Dan glanced over to see none other than Chris Kendall walk in, a smirk on his face.

"Heya, Danny," he said, leaning sideways against the sink.

"Hey, Chris," Dan returned. "What's up?"

The smirk didn't waver. "You know what's up," he said. When Dan raised an eyebrow, he went on, "You're not very subtle, Dan. I see you looking at Phil, and so does PJ."

Dan suddenly felt himself going very red, and he put a hand over his face.

"And I can see the way you're looking at him," Chris continued. "You look at him like he's a work of art, like he's an angel, like he's something too beautiful to belong to this world."

"Is it that obvious?" Dan mumbled, rubbing his eyes.

Chris shrugged. "Maybe. I jut know because, well, that's how I see Peej."

There was a short silence as Dan digested this information.

"And yes, it is _so_ fucking obvious."

"Shut up," Dan moaned into his hands, and Chris laughed.

"When will we hear the happy announcement?"

"Chris."

"When's the wedding?"

" _Chris_."

"Can I be your best man?"

"Chris! Shut _up_!"

Chris just laughed, and Dan couldn't help grinning.

"And don't worry, you'll get to stare at Phil even next time we come down," Chris said, smirk turning into a grin. "Cause fuck it all, we're coming back whether your son of a bitch dad likes it or not!"

Dan smiled. "Thanks, I'd like that."

"And PJ and I support you and Phil, no matter what happens."

"Nothing is happening."

"Yet!"

"What are you even saying?"

"I'm ship captain, that's what I'm saying!"

"Oh god, Chris, you're as bad as my mother."

"Okay, I _have_ to talk to your mother now."

Dan sighed, and Chris broke down into laughter. Chris wrapped an arm around his shoulder, giving him a brief one-armed hug.

"You're one of us now, Dan, and we're keeping you," Chris said, and Dan smiled. He finally felt like he belonged somewhere, even if it was with three other people he accidentally met on the internet.

Without waiting for him, Chris walked out of the bathroom. Dan hurried to follow behind, back to their table.

To Phil and PJ.

To his gorgeous blue-eyed angel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HOPE THAT SUFFICED SHOOT ME IF IT DIDN'T
> 
> Also! To all readers! An announcement!
> 
> 1\. I am in the process of writing a little extra for this story and I am going to make something for it! So! If you are willing, please drop your name or a name you'd like to be called in a comment here and it will be put in a thing at the end of the book :) thanks!! :D
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and I hope you have a wonderful day ^~^


	25. Ni-juu-ni

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Over a week late, I'm sorry XD
> 
> Special thanks to Pink and her song "Bad Influence" (Funhouse, 2008) for helping me to write this chapter~ I almost had a fluff attack writing the ending of this chapter, oh my Chuck.
> 
> I'm reading the original ACD Sherlock Holmes and holy shit this is amazing.
> 
> My brother and I also spent a lot of time last week fangirling over Ryatt cause o h m y g o d one of my OTPs finally did a thing. ASDFGHJKL
> 
> Other than that... Ooh! LUNA WAS BORN!! MATTHIAS AND AMANDA FAYE'S DAUGHTER! I AM SO HAPPY OMG KSHDJODJBSKDHF SO HAPPY SO SO SO HAPPY!!!!!!
> 
> Umm... Not much else? :D
> 
> *gives you Tim Tams* I hope you enjoy! :D

When Dan and Chris returned to the table, Phil had his head in his hands and from what Dan could see, was adorably blushing red.

Dan then looked at PJ, who was just smiling at Chris. Looking between the two, Dan could see an entire conversation silently happening between the them, but couldn't for the life of him figure out what it was. As Chris took his seat, Dan carefully retook his. Phil was fiddling with his fringe, brushing it back and then pulling it over his eye again. The sunlight was streaming through the glass walls and hit Phil in such a way that it seemed to make his skin sparkle, his hair shimmer and his eyes shine. Up close, Dan could see that Phil's eyes had a touch of yellow in the blue and green, almost gold, and it reminded Dan of the ocean. He could truly go swimming in those eyes.

Before he was required to say something, Chris piped up. "So what'd we miss?" he asked. "What's got Philly over here blushing so much?"

That just made Phil go even redder, and Dan felt the corner of his mouth turning up.

"It's, uh, it's um," Phil stuttered, "nothing really..."

Chris linked his fingers together and leaned on the table, smirking at the blushing Phil. "Oh, really?" he asked smugly. "Well, I bet I can venture a guess that-"

PJ's hand flew up to cover Chris's mouth, turning his speech into muffled sounds. "That's quite enough from you, Chris," he said, and Chris raised an eyebrow. Phil shot PJ what looked like a grateful glance before looking down at his drink again.

Chris must have licked PJ's hand, because PJ suddenly pulled it sway with a disgusted look and rubbed it on Chris's cheek. Chris just grinned and batted his hand away. All four of them broke down into laughter.

"What are you, ten?" Dan asked, giggling.

"Probably," Chris replied, shrugging. "Maybe a little younger. I didn't have to worry about anything then..."

"Those were the good days," PJ agreed.

"Hey!" Phil said. "Be more positive, guys!"

"Impossible," Dan and Chris managed to say in unison, making them laugh again.

"Please don't go all existential crisis-y on us, Dan," Phil sighed, but Dan heard the giggle.

"I will try my best," Dan replied, "but no promises."

Chris sighed in mock disappointment, shaking his head. "Our Dannyboy is being sucked down the rabbit hole again," he said dramatically.

Dan snorted. "You have no idea," he replied, leaning his head on his hand.

PJ whacked his boyfriend over the head, and Chris let out a loud " _Ow_ _!_ Peej, _what the fuck was that for?_ "

PJ rolled his eyes, but he had a small smile on his face and his eyes (god, how many shades of green can one pair of eyes have?) were sparkling with silent laughter. "Don't even start," he said. "You are a bad influence on people."

Chris waggled his eyebrows at him. "Damn right," he replied, grinning widely. "People love me!"

"I beg to differ," PJ mumbled and Chris's mouth dropped open.

"Ex _cuse_ me mister," he said, "what did you say?"

PJ shrugged. "For the greater good," he said ( _how did that explain anything?_ Dan wondered).

Chris glared at him. "I am your _boyfriend_!" he shot back. "I am the greatest good you're ever gonna get!"

"And here we interrupt this bickering like an old married couple to quote _The Incredibles_!" Phil said dramatically, doing jazz hands with a grin.

Dan put his head in his hands, shoulders shaking with silent laughter. "I'm crying," he said weakly, wiping at his eyes. "Bloody hell!"

Chris and PJ laughed, and Phil giggled. "Don't cry, Dan," Phil said.

Dan looked up at Phil and his laughing blue eyes. "And what do you suggest I do instead?"

Phil faltered. "Um, craft?" he said uncertainly.

There was silence for a few seconds, before Chris burst out into laughter. Dan followed suit, and PJ afterwards.

"Oh my god, Phil," Dan said. "I can't breathe."

"I'm sorry!" Phil said, holding his hands up. "It was the first thing that came to mind!"

"That was bloody incredible," Chris said weakly, laughing. PJ looked like he was about to add something, but decided against it and kept laughing.

Dan grinned at Phil, who looked so adorably awkward that Dan's heart skipped a beat, and said, "Oh Jesus, Phil, you'll be the death of all of us."

Phil buried his head in his hands and groaned.

After that they kept laughing and teasing Phil, who sometimes looked like he wanted to die.

But eventually, all good things must come to an end.

 _Fuck that quote and whoever bloody said it, Jesus fucking Christ,_ Dan thought angrily when PJ sadly announced the time.

They all paid for their drinks and walked outside. The station was the opposite direction of Dan's house, so that left them to (awkward and awful and even some words that don't start with 'A') goodbyes outside the cafe.

Chris pulled Dan into a one-armed hug before he ruffled Dan's hair. "It was good to finally meet ya, Danny," he said.

Dan knocked his hand away. "Just because I am younger than you does not mean you get to treat me like a five-year-old," he retorted.

Chris looked deadly serious as he replied, "Oh, but it does." PJ lightly hit him on the head and Chris whirled to him. " _Will you stop doing that?!_ "

As the old married couple started bickering again, Phil was looking at Dan, and Dan at Phil. Dan really wished he knew what Phil was thinking. He wished he could figure out the emotions swirling in his beautiful eyes.

"I guess it's goodbye for today, huh Dan?" Phil said sadly, and Dan suddenly wanted to cry.

"I guess so," Dan replied, hooking his thumbs into his pockets.

Phil suddenly brightened up. "But hey, we are so doing this again sometime soon, okay? I promise!"

Dan smiled. "Absolutely," he replied. He barely had time to think before Phil was pulling him into a hug. He was so warm, and Dan suddenly felt so safe in those arms.

But it was over all too soon.

"Bye, Dan!" Phil said brightly, walking over to Chris and PJ.

"Seeya, Dan!" PJ smiled at him, taking Chris's hand again.

"Catchya Danny!" Chris called.

The three of them turned and began walking away, and Dan watched them go. Chris had his fingers linker through PJ's and their hands were swinging between them, and Phil put his hands in his pockets. But Phil looked over his shoulder one more time, and caught Dan's gaze. They just looked at each other and smiled for a second before Phil looked away, and the trio was swallowed up by the crowd.

Dan shoved his hands in his pockets and sighed happily as his mother and Adrian came up to him.

"You're so whipped," Adrian said, and Dan rolled his eyes.

"Did you have fun, Dan?" Ann asked him, and Dan looked up at her and suddenly remembered the end of his very first kik conversation with Phil. He didn't say anything, but Ann knew. She smiled. "Come on, then," she said. "Let's go."

They all piled into Ann's car and began the drive home. Dan didn't even pull out his phone for the drive home, just looked out the window.

 

 

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _this was the most fun I've ever had._


	26. Ni-juu-san

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **PLEASE READ**
> 
> Ahahahaaaaaaa, whoops I forgot to upload this here XD But it's here now!! :D
> 
> Doing another Q&A over on Wattpad, so if you have that please go and comment over there!! :D If you have any questions for any of the characters (Phil, Martyn, Phil's Mum, Phil's Dad, Dan, Ann, Desmond, Adrian, Chris, PJ or ME), please leave them in the comments!! :D
> 
> Thank you!! :D
> 
> *gives you Pride Flags (in my case, rainbow for me gay self, bisexual for my best friend, and asexual-biromantic for my brother!*
> 
> I hope you enjoy!! :D
> 
> (sorry if this chapter is crappy, wrote it at midnight xD)

As expected, Adrian relentelessly teased Dan on the ride home while Ann kept pestering him with questions about how it went.

"I saw Phil looking at you, it was so adorable!" Ann exclaimed.

Dan felt himself steadily turning red. "Mum, you're making this more dramatic than it needs to be," he mumbled into his hand, determinedly looking out the window as they drove.

"Oh please," Ady scoffed from the back seat. "I don't think the Heart-Eyes-Howell could get any worse."

"Shut. Up."

"It was actually kind of disgusting."

"Adrian."

"Daniel."

"Oh stop it, you two, you're driving me insane," Ann scolded.

Ady and Dan fell quiet, but Dan could practically hear his little brother's triumphant smirk from behind him. He really wanted to strangle him. But he probably shouldn't do that while they were in the car. Honestly, he was more scared about what Ann would do to him (castrate? Draw and quarter? Whatever it was, his body would certainly never be found) than crashing the car. Maybe in the middle of the night.

Breaking into his thoughts was his phone buzzing in his pocket, so he pulled it out to see a text from Phil. A small smile formed on his face before he could stop it.

**_Philly:_ **   
_On the tube again, kik me when you get home?_

Dan frowned in confusion.

_thought you had no data?_

**_Philly:_ **   
_Yeah, that was a lie, sorry. Didn't want to admit I was too nervous to message you... Guess there was no need to be nervous after all, huh? :D_

Dan blinked, before smiling.

_no need at all, and will do! (: abt 10m away from home (:_

**_Philly:_ **   
_Great! Talk then :) x_

Oh god Phil was going to be the death of Dan.

_absolutely (: x_

"Whipped!" Ady said loudly.

"Shut up!" Dan said back. "What's it to you?"

There was silence for a few seconds, and Dan realised what he'd said. He dropped his phone into his lap and his head into hid hands.

His brother started laughing loudly and his mother was clearly trying not to giggle (and failing).

Dan groaned, wanting for the world to swallow him whole because Ady wasn't wrong.

When they got home, Ann parked in the driveway and they went though the front door, therefore they all failed to notice that Desmond Howell's car was parked in the garage.

"Just admit that you're in love with Phil and we'll stop pestering you," Ady bargained as they walked through the kitchen towards the stairs. Dan pointedly ignored him. "I will chant it in the middle of the night."

"Y'know what, fuck you," Dan said, opening kik.

"Language!" Ann shouted, and Dan rolled his eyes, typing out a message to Phil.

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _home again (:_

As they passed the second lounge, a small room on the right side of the hallway, Ady glanced into it and froze for a second. Dan had taken a few steps before Ady caught up with him.

"Dad's in there," Ady whispered, and Dan went cold. "I think he heard."

He grabbed his brother's arm and pulled him faster towards the stairs. Ady didn't resist until they got to the top of the stairs and then he pulled Dan towards his room.

Dan closed the door of his bedroom behind him and the two brothers looked at each other for a moment.

"What now, Dan?" Ady asked, and Dan leant back against the door.

He didn't want his baby brother to see how afraid he was.

"They all promised me that they'd come again," Dan said with a small smile. "Dad gets to deal with it."

"What if he forbids you to go out to meet them again?" Ady asked.

"Then he can shove his head up his ass," Dan replied simply, and Ady cracked a smile. "Cause frankly, I don't care what he thinks. I don't care if he's a homophobic prick or if he hates Phil because..."

Ady smirked. "Because you're in love with him," he supplied. "That much is painfully obvious."

Dan said nothing, and looked down when his phone buzzed.

**_AmazingPhil:_ ** _Yay! :D_

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _but I can't talk rn, not sure for how long, but I'll message you when I'm back (: x_

Dan noticed that, that was the first time he'd sent an 'x' first. How daring of him.

But his heart soared when he saw Phil's reply:-

**_AmazingPhil:_ ** _I'll be waiting :) x_

Dan put his phone away in his pocket with a smile. He looked back up at Ady, who was waiting expectantly.

"This isn't your fight, Ady," Dan said. "You should stay out of it."

"Bullshit it isn't," Ady returned. "You're my brother, as annoying as that is sometimes, and brothers look out for each other."

Dan grinned, and Ady mirrored him. Dan opened the door again and together they walked back downstairs.

They found their parents talking quietly in the main lounge, both of which looked over and fell silent as they saw the two approaching.

Dan looked at Desmond, who looked back. He couldn't read the emotions in his father's face, as much as he tried to.

Desmond cleared his throat. "So," he started, almost awkwardly. "How was it?"

Dan raised his eyebrows. "Best day I've ever had," he said coolly, and watched surprise flicker over his father's face. "And they're planning to come again sometime soon."

Now he was clearly surprised. "Are they?" he asked.

"Yep."

"I see."

That was it. Nothing more. Dan looked over at his mother, who had hope written all over her face as her gaze flicked between her husband and her sons.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Desmond nodded slightly. Dan wanted to collapse with relief.

(He really wanted to collapse into the arms of a certain boy he may or may not be in love with, but that's beside the point. Isn't it?)

Dan allowed a small smile for his father, before turning around and walking up to his room again.

He ruffled Ady's hair as he turned into his room, and then headed into his own.

He took out his phone again and sat down on his bed.

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _that was quicker than I thought it would be_

Phil took no time at all to start typing up a reply.

**_AmazingPhil:_ ** _Hi!!!_   
_Where'd you go?_

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _had to talk to my dad_

**_AmazingPhil:_ ** _Oh my god_   
_Are you okay?? Is Ady??? What happened???_

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _it's okay (:_

His phone buzzed with a message from the group chat.

**_KickThePj:_ ** _okay so Phil just told us you went to talk to your dad_   
_I WILL RIP HIS FUCKING HEAD OFF_   
_That was Chris, sorry. He doesn't have data on his phone._   
_I hope everything's alright, Dan._

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _it's okay, guys, everything's okay for now_

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _Oh thank god_

_**KickThePj:** _ _"for now"???_

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _I think he'll let me see you guys again_

_**KickThePj:** _ _Great!_   
_Chris is practically jumping for joy on a train. Kinda hilarious._

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _Yay!! I can't wait to see you again! :D_

_**KickThePj:** _ _We can't either! It was so fun to finally meet you, Dan._

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _it was awesome to meet you guys too! (:_   
_best day of my life, tbh_

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _Mine too! :)_

Dan felt his stomach swoop and he smiled.

The three and a half of them kept talking for a little while, until Dan's mother called him down for dinner.

He said goodbye in the group chat, before messaging Phil.

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _Skype when you get home? (:_

**_AmazingPhil:_ ** _It's a date ;)_


	27. Ni-juu-shii

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AND SO IT CONTINUES.
> 
> I'm so sorry I haven't posted here in Chuck knows how long, I just forgot to post the chapters here XD
> 
> NOTE! I now have an upload schedule of once a fortnight! :D I'm alternating weeks with a Supernatural story that I'm writing over on Wattpad, which I'm debating posting here? It's full of fourth-wall breaking goodness! :D
> 
> That's all for now, I hope you enjoy! :D

Date.

_It's a date ;)_

Okay, that one stuck with Dan for a while. It was nudging the back of his mind all through dinner. And he found that he didn't mind it at all.

Afterwards, he managed to get himself stuck in the kitchen with his father, clearing the table and packing dishes into the dishwasher. Dan didn't make any move to start conversation, especially since his father seemed about to say something buy decided against it multiple times. For a while, it was silent apart from the clinking of plates and cutlery.

But finally, a quiet "Dan?" broke through the tension.

"Yeah?" Dan replied without stopping what he was doing, trying to keep an air of nonchalance.

Desmond was quiet for a few seconds, so Dan turned to look at him. He was wiping down the table, quietly and methodically.

"Dad?" Dan tried again, and this time the man slowed to a stop, turning to look at him.

There was an awkward few seconds before Desmond spoke again. "Did you have a good day?" he asked, and Dan furrowed his brows in confusion.

"I told you earlier," he said. "Best day of my life."

His father nodded. "That's good, then," he muttered, seemingly more to himself than to Dan. They looked at each other for a minute before Dan sighed, suddenly feeling exhausted.

"Just apologise, Dad," he said. "Just say sorry and it'll be alright."

"I won't apologise for being worried about my son," was the reply, being very clear with his tone, and Dan blinked. He leant back against the counter, watching his father carefully.

"But," Desmond went on, "I will apologise for being harsh and quick to judge. You just have to understand that even though I don't understand the internet very well, I do know that it can be very dangerous and... and Phil and the others could have been creepy old men for all I knew. I can't say I approve of meeting up with strangers, but..." He trailed off with a sigh, rubbing a hand over his face. "I feel like I'm too old for this. And I'm sorry."

Dan felt one corner of his mouth turning up. He knew that that was all he was getting out of his dad, and that was enough for now.

"Thank you," he said, and received a nod in return. They fell into silence again as they went back to cleaning up the kitchen. Dan smiled as he felt some weight lift from his shoulders, and from his heart.

Dan went back upstairs and grabbed his laptop, planning to just lounge on his bed, scrolling Tumblr and talking to Phil until they could Skype again.

And so, he set about doing just that. But he couldn't help the one thought of, _Wow, this is one of the first things I've planned that I've actually gone through with. Go Dan._

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _I'm back~_

**_AmazingPhil:_ ** _Welcome back! :D_

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _what'd I miss?_

**_AmazingPhil:_ ** _Still on the tube -_- sooo boring, can't wait until I get home :)_

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _bet your house is a lot better than mine, tbh_

**_AmazingPhil:_ ** _MY HOUSE IS HAUNTED, YOU HAVE NO IDEA_   
_But my laptop's at home, and we have a date, remember? ;)_

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _did you seriously just send a winky face at me Phil_

**_AmazingPhil:_ ** _Uhh... yeah?_

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _I didn't know you were such a flirt (;_

**_AmazingPhil:_ ** _Only the best for my Danny ;)_

Dan rubbed his face, feeling the heat radiating off it. Here we was, a socially inept 17-year-old boy, flirting with the fricking human sun through text messages. _Go Dan._

Well, at least he could be a little more smooth through messages than he ever could in real life. Which wasn't really saying something.

He cracked up laughing at that.

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _are you flirting with me, Phil?_

The little 'R' popped up saying that Phil had read the message, but he didn't reply for half a minute. Dan was suddenly worried that he'd scared him away when Phil started typing again.

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _If you want me to be._

Dan smiled.

More than anything.

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _well, I wouldn't say that I'm against it_   
_no, I'm not against it at all_   
_in fact, please continue (;_

**_AmazingPhil:_ ** _Well, in that case~_

Dan's phone buzzed with a message from the group chat, and Dan sighed, preparing himself for the worst.

_**KickThePj:** _ _this is Chris again_   
_and Philly is over there blushing and looking very smug_   
_DANNY ARE YOU FLIRTING WITH PHILLY_   
_WHAT ARE YOU SAYYYINNNNGGGGG_   
_TELL MEH_   
_I am now sorry for giving Chris my phone. I'll turn on my hotspot for him._

Dan was proud that he could now better imagine the bitchface that Chris would be throwing at PJ.

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _ask your mum, I was practising these lines on her last night_

**_crabstickz:_ ** _you smooth motherfucker, Danny_

**_AmazingPhil:_ ** _Oh my god, Dan_

**_crabstickz:_ ** _LEECHING OFF PJ'S WIFI MUAHAHA_   
_also Dan, where did you learn these mama jokes_   
_I need to write these down_

**_KickThePj:_ ** _That one was pretty good._

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _oh please, that was amazing_

**_crabstickz:_ ** _amazing(Phil)_

**_AmazingPhil:_ ** _I'm not sure whether to be flattered or not..._

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _closest thing to flattery you'll ever get from Chris tbh_

**_crabstickz:_ ** _oh Danny, you know me so well~_

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _yeah, your mum mentioned you a few times_   
_wasn't much time for talking though, if you catch my drift_

**_crabstickz:_ ** _FUCK IT DAN_   
_SMOOTH LIL SHIT_

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _*bows*_

**_AmazingPhil:_ ** _I am trying not to cry from laughter on a train, this is getting embarrassing._

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _don't cry, Philly~_   
_CRAFT_

**_AmazingPhil:_ ** _Oh, shut up, Dan!_

Dan smirked, and went into their private chat.

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _make me_

**_AmazingPhil:_ ** _Watch me._

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _whoa, bit forward now, aren't we?_

**_AmazingPhil:_ ** _You started it~_

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _I believe that it was you that stated that we had a date?_

**_AmazingPhil:_ ** _Got me there._

Dan tapped back into the group chat as Chris started messaging more.

_**KickThePj:** _ _Silence is golden._

**_crabstickz:_ ** _PHIL'S FACE HAS GONE RED_   
_OKAY_   
_WHAT IS HAPPENING_   
_WHAT_   
_IS_   
_HAPPENING_   
_OKAY_   
_y'know what, I don't wanna know_   
_I'll just leave you two to have phone sex_

Dan's face was on fire now.

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _Oh my god, Chris._

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _just_   
_why_   
_why even_

**_crabstickz:_ ** _cause I'm Phan Trash #1_   
_what can I say_   
_what can ya do_

**_KickThePj:_ ** _I should turn off my hotspot, shouldn't I?_

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _yeah, probably a good idea_

**_crabstickz:_ ** _DON'T YOU DARE YOU FUCKER_

**_KickThePj:_ ** _It's off. Gonna go myself, too._   
_Have fun, you two!_   
_Use virtual protection!_

Dan sighed again, going back to the private chat.

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _I don't know why I bother, sometimes_

**_AmazingPhil_ ** _: Tell me about it._   
_Now, where were we?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another note! I did the 40 Hour Famine this year, and if any of you are able to donate to a wonderful cause, please do so here:  
> 40hf2016.everydayhero.com/au/willow
> 
> Thank you!! <3
> 
> And hopefully there'll be another chapter this weekend, seeing as this is OUaK week! XD
> 
> Have a wonderful weekend! :D


	28. Ni-juu-go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LATE LATE LATE  
> SHORT SHORT SHORT  
> SORRYYYYYYYYYYYY

Throughout the course of the next week, Dan quickly learned that Phil was definitely a flirt.

And a bloody good one at that.

Dan always flirted back, of course - how could he not? Be it through text or through Skype, he always had this warm feeling in his stomach whenever these flirting matches started, and whenever Phil did that cute little wink of his when they talked on Skype.

They came to an unspoken agreement to keep it on the down-low whenever Chris and PJ were around, but Dan didn't doubt for a second that they knew exactly what was going on. But nevertheless, they tried to keep it between themselves.

It hadn't really gone past harmless flirting, which Dan was extremely grateful for at the moment because in all honestly, he had no idea what he was doing. He'd never talked to anyone like this before, girlfriend or otherwise. He was coming to realise that those were just silly teenage crushes, whereas Phil was this electric spark that made his heart tingle in his chest.

This was completely different to anything he'd ever felt before, and it was amazing.

It had been exactly one week, two hours and twenty-four minutes since Dan had seen Phil for the first time, and Dan wasn't keeping track, not at all.

He definitely wasn't missing Phil like crazy, definitely not.

Oh, who was he kidding? Certainly, not his mother and brother, that was for sure.

But for now, he was happy to lie on his stomach on his bed and look at Phil through a computer screen. Phil, who was now smiling and telling a little anecdote about how the power went out at his school and then the lights flickered in a bunch of places and a few people were scared shitless, some people were perfectly calm and the teachers had to restrain a few people so they didn't run to the kitchen to get some salt. Evidently, the last group of people was the group that watched Supernatural.

As he talked, Phil's hands were waving around everywhere and he sounded so excited that Dan couldn't help but grin the whole time.

The conversations drifted from the Supernatural episode in real life to other things, and Dan was perfectly content.

And so, content he remained. He knew that he had to wait until he could meet Phil and Chris and PJ again, and so he had forced his mind to relax and accept it.

But _god_ , did he wish that he didn't have to wait so long. But this is the price you had to pay for having an online friend, he supposed. And honestly, he'd pay just about any price to keep Phil as a friend, even if it meant that he could never see him again and oh god he didn't want to think about that at all.

So, he found the words to keep the conversations going instead, because for now, that's all he would have.

 _And y'know what?_ Dan thought to himself as he watched Phil through the screen. _That's perfectly fine._

~~~

Dan knew that they would meet again, but he didn't know that they would bring it up so soon. Before he knew it-

_**crabstickz:** _ _okay so when are we meeting up again, anyways?_

**_AmazingPhil:_ ** _Not soon enough!_

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _heard that_   
_maybe we can actually go places this time_

_**KickThePj:** _ _That would be cool!_

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _Yeah, absolutely!!_

_**crabstickz:** _ _there's one downside to this_

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _aaaaaaand what would that be, exactly?_

_**crabstickz:** _ _PJ and I get to deal with you and Phil having eye-sex the whole day_

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _What downside could there possibly_   
_What_

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _wat_   
_hold the phone_   
_WAT_

_**AmazingPhil:** _ _Chris!!!_

_**KickThePj:** _ _Chris..._

_**crabstickz:** _ _what, it's true!_

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _I am just_   
_what_   
_what even_

But despite the messages, Dan-

_Nope, nope, not going there. Do not go there, Dan, do not go there. At no point in time do you ever go there. Ever._

Dan went into his private chat with Phil.

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _what do we do about Chris?_

**_AmazingPhil:_ ** _How about stuff him in a closet?_

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _wow, that was unexpected_

**_AmazingPhil:_ ** _Why, what would you have said?_

**_danisnotonfire:_ ** _something incredibly violent, probably_

**_AmazingPhil:_ ** _In that case, do not say it._

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _for you, Philly, I will keep my silence_

**_AmazingPhil:_ ** _Why thank you, Danny_

Messages buzzed from the group chat, so Dan went back into it.

**_crabstickz:_ ** _guuuuuuuuys_

_**KickThePj:** _ _I think the silence is telling us something here._

_**crabstickz:** _ _hey, next time we come up (*cough* this weekend *cough*) why not make it a double date?_

_**KickThePj:** _ _Sounds good to me._

Phil messaged him privately again, and the message that Dan got was not one that he was expecting.

**_AmazingPhil:_ ** _Sounds good to me too, y'know._

Dan blushed, and smiled at his phone before he could stop himself.

**_AmazingPhil:_ ** _Hang on, gimme a minute._

_**danisnotonfire:** _ _uh, okay?_

Confused, Dan waited. He didn't have to wait long, because shortly afterwards a video from Phil sent. He smiled, tapped on it and then he was once again staring into those brilliant blue eyes. _God_ , he could not get enough of those eyes.

"So, what do you say, Dan?" Phil asked, winking. "Shall we make this a date?"

Dan laughed, and instinctively fixed his fringe before sending is own video to Phil.

"Y'know what, Phil?" Dan said, grinning. "I think we shall."

A few seconds later-

**_AmazingPhil:_ ** _Perfect._

_Dan Howell,_ Dan thought to himself. _You have just landed yourself a date._


	29. Ni-juu-roku

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *throws papers in the air* TO HELL WITH UPLOAD SCHEDULES LOLOLOL
> 
> Big cheers to "Ral" in the comments section for cheering me on! Your comments are awesome, mate, thanks! :D
> 
> Chapter note: I apologise for people that live in Reading/Manchester or know what they look like because I have no idea! So please consider the towns that Dan/Phil/Chris/PJ/everyone else live in fictional places named after real places, because I'm making this all up XD
> 
> I hope you enjoy~ :D

Dan didn't know he'd be this nervous. He never imagined that he would be this nervous. He had been nervous to go on dates before, but this... being _this_ nervous could not be healthy.

As he looked at himself in the bathroom mirror, deciding that he looked decent, he mentally prepared himself by asking all the questions.

What would Phil want to do on a first date?

Could this even be considered a first date, seeing as Chris and PJ were with them?

Would they kiss? Or just hold hands?

He took a deep breath and absentmindedly fixed his fringe. He pushed it back off his face and then tugged it back down again. Forcing his hand away, he sighed. He'd never been on a date with a guy before. Heck, he'd only been on a couple of dates with girls before. He barely had any idea what he was doing.

But somehow, he knew that he and Phil were the wing-it sort - they'd go with the flow and see where it went. They'd go as slowly or as quickly as they felt comfortable with, and Dan liked that.

He grinned as the words came into his head again. Dan was going on a date with Phil. Dan and Phil. Yeah, he really liked the sound of that.

"Dan! Time to go!" Ann called from the hall, and Dan raced out of the bathroom and into his bedroom, picking up his jacket (black, naturally) and his phone before composing himself, and managed to go down the stairs at a reasonable pace.

"You look excited," Ann said, smiling. Dan felt himself blush and he looked down, unable to suppress a smile. There was silence for a few seconds, and then-

"Oh my god," Ann said quietly. "Oh my god. Oh my god!" she laughed. "Does that smile mean what I think it means?" Looking up, Dan saw that her hands were clasped together in front of eye chest and she looked too happy, like she was about to start jumping up and down.

"That depends," Dan said, and he couldn't keep the grin to himself any longer. "What do you think it means?"

Ann ran forward and pulled him into a hug. "My son has gotten himself a date!" she whisper-yelled, pulling back and running a hand through her hair. "I'm sorry, I'm just so happy for you!"

"You've never been this happy for any one of my other dates, Mum," Dan laughed. "What's gotten into you?"

"I dunno," she admitted. "I just have a good feeling about this, y'know? Like, Phil could be the perfect person for you. Heck, he already is, platonic or otherwise!"

Dan just grinned and shook his head. "Let's go already, Mum."

They were meeting at the same cafe again this time, they'd decided. Ann would introduce herself, they'd get coffee, and then Ann would go shopping and the (strangely named, but Dan didn't dare question it for fear of Chris's wrath) 'Fantastic Foursome' head out and spend the day pointlessly walking around the streets of Reading.

Dan knew some really nice places that he'd like to take the Three Amigos to. Before his state of being too deep in an existential crisis to leave the house, he'd gone to one of these places quite a bit.

A little later, he once again found himself in the cafe scrolling Tumblr with a coffee warming up his fingers, but this time he had his mother on the same table as him. The cafe was crowded today, so they'd had to sit at a four-person table again. And Dan was a jumble of nerves and second thoughts and anxiety and worry and oh my god everything that can go wrong and-

The cafe doorbell rang as it opened, and Dan looked up too see Phil walking towards him. Dan stood up to meet him and he was engulfed in a warm hug, Phil's arms around his waist and holding him tight against his body. They pulled apart after a few seconds, only for Phil to lean in and press a quick kiss to Dan's cheek.

Dan's eyes widened as Phil leaned back and winked at him with a smug little smirk on his face, making Dan blush and look down, biting his lip to keep from grinning.

"Hi Dan," Phil said, his voice ringing like bells.

"Hey Phil," Dan replied.

They all took a seat (Chris happily sitting on PJ's lap, as they couldn't find a spare seat) and Dan introduced them to his mother. He could tell that Chris and Ann hit it off right away, like Chris said they would. PJ joined in that conversation, while Dan and Phil had their own.

They didn't really talk about anything in particular, they just managed to pick up where their last kik conversation had left off. The world seemed to shrink around them, and all Dan could focus on was Phil.

When they finished their coffees, they said goodbye to Ann and went their own ways.

Reading wasn't a very big place in comparison to Manchester, of course, but Dan had o admit that it was a fairly pretty place in its own right. They walked the streets of the town and talked and joked like they'd been doing it for yeas - it certainly felt like they had, Dan thought happily. He pointed out semi-interesting shops (there weren't many) and which cafes were actually run by people that were most like psychopaths.

 _I don't think I've walked this much in years,_ Dan thought to himself, smiling a little.

Dan suggested that they walk up the hill to the lookout, where you can see the entire town from one place. The others agreed, and Dan led the way. It was quite a walk up the hill, especially in skinny jeans, but regardless of that it was a nice walk.

"Not a bad place," Chris commented, looking around.

"It's a nice change from Manchester," PJ agreed.

"It's pretty boring, though," Dan said. "There's not much to do, and school is the worst."

Chris snorted. "Aren't all schools the worst?"

"I don't think it's that bad," Phil said lightly.

"That's because you spend most of your time daydreaming and staring out the window," PJ said, and Dan laughed.

There was a slight breeze up at the lookout, and Phil immediately walked over to the edge and looked over. 

There was a slight shove on Dan's shoulder, and he looked back to see Chris looking at him with a smirk and a raised eyebrow. PJ nodded towards Phil. Finally understanding, Dan glared at them both.

"Just go," Chris said exasperatedly, waving his arm towards Phil.

"I hate you both," Dan mumbled, but nevertheless he shoved his hands in his pockets and joined Phil at the rail.

Phil was leaning forward on his arms, staring over the town with a twinkle in his eye. "It's really pretty from up here," he said.

Dan smiled, matching the pose (and probably standing a bit close to Phil than normal friends would, but who's paying attention). "Yeah, it is," he replied, before inwardly cursing himself. What a way to keep up conversation, _Daniel_.

But in the end, he didn't have to worry, because there was a few seconds of silence before Dan felt a gentle touch along the inside of his wrist. He looked down and saw Phil's hand next to his own.

Smiling, Dan moved his hand and allowed Phil to link their fingers together. He looked up to see Phil looking at him with a smile that made his heart melt, and eyes so bright they rivaled the sun.

He really did love this boy.


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TEN THOUSAND YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAARS WILL GIVE YOU SUCH A CRICK IN THE NECK
> 
> First off, apologies for not updating sooner! I'm just, not even keeping upload schedules anymore. Blehhhhhhhh... I'll update when I can/want to, so please don't harp on and keep asking me to update. I promise that this story will never be abandoned! 
> 
> Second, which is a continuation of the first, is regarding this story. We're now twenty-seven chapters in. Twenty-seven 1000-word (ish) chapters. Yeah, so, I had a thought about this.  
> Because this story is taking so long and not much has happened yet (except the THING. IT FINALLY FUCKING HAPPENED YAYAYAYA), I guess I'm kinda gradually getting bored with it...? But hey, like I said, never going to be abandoned! :D I just kinda want to go back and re-write it, but I really can't be bothered XD I'll go back and re-write it when it's finished, I suppose ^~^
> 
> Okay, so this is the section where I do a bit of self-promo :3
> 
> Twitter/Instagram is @ willow0angel :3 I take pictures of stuff. And I ramble about shit. And I cosplay! :D

Dan's hand was tingling from the cool touch of Phil's hand. It sent shivers up his arm, and he felt himself involuntarily smiling.

Looking over at Phil, he saw an adorable little smile on his face.

"You're the most adorable dork I've ever met, you know that?" Dan found himself saying. He wasn't quite sure why he said it out loud, but the grin and the blush that grew on Phil's face was _so_ worth it.

"Maybe," Phil said. "But I'm your adorable dork, so that has to count for something."

Dan looked down at their hands again. "It does," he said.

There was a slight pressure against his temple, and it took him a second to register that _ohmygod Phil just kissed me again holyfuckingshit-_

"You're so much more adorable than I am, though," Phil murmured in his ear.

"I don't think that's possible," Dan countered.

"Wanna bet?"

"Absolutely."

Phil started giggling, and Dan couldn't help but join in. His stomach felt like it was being twisted up into knots, and it was the best feeling _ever_.

They laughed like that for a little while, and Dan squeezed Phil's hand, and felt a surge of happiness when Phil returned the gesture.

That's when Dan realised that he wasn't nervous anymore. He knew that what he felt for Phil, Phil felt for him, too. He wasn't worried about having feelings that weren't reciprocated anymore, because here they were.

"Do you think, uh," Phil started to say, stuttering a little. Dan listened patiently, smiling to himself. "Do y-you think that, maybe, I could come back here again? Just me? And we could, y'know, go on a date somewhere?"

Dan could see the uncertainty in Phil's eyes, so he decided to erase that by leaning up and kissing Phil's cheek. Moving back, he said, "I'd love to."

The smile that lit up Phil's face would forever be in Dan's memory, along with the way those beautiful blue eyes sparkled like the moon on the ocean.

No regrets. None whatsoever.

"Haven't our meetings so far kinda been like dates, though?" Phil said, winking.

Dan rolled his eyes. "Yeah, with the two joined-at-the-hip lovebirds tagging along," he laughed.

"Double dates, then?"

"You're persistent," Dan noted. Not that it was a bad thing, it was actually pretty nice.

Phil gave a short laugh, then sighed. "Maybe I just really want to call you my boyfriend already," he said, and Dan's breath hitched in his chest.

"As long as I can call you mine," Dan replied, and squeezed Phil's hand again, "I'd love to be your boyfriend."

The next thing he knew, he was being crushed into a hug again, Phil's arms securely around his waist. Dan steadied himself by wrapping his arms around Phil's neck, smiling as the beautiful boy buried his head in the crook of Dan's neck. It felt so nice.

Dan felt Phil mumble something into his skin, and it sent shivers down his spine. 

"What did you say?" Dan asked.

Phil moved his head up a little. "I said that I really want to kiss you right now," he said quietly.

Dan smiled. "Well, I can't say I'm opposed to that idea," he replied, just as quietly.

Phil moved back from the hug far enough for Dan to cup his cheeks and lean up to press their lips together like he'd been dying to for so long.

The kiss was beautiful, and sweet, and so full of sparkling innocence. Dan had never wanted to laugh for joy in so long. His hands slid down and around Phil's neck, gently clutching at his hair. Phil's arms were still around his waist, keeping them as close together as possible.

They broke apart after a while, grinning stupidly.

They both whipped their heads around when there was a loud "Fucking _finally_ ," beside them. Chris had a triumphant grin on his face and had his hands on his hips. PJ was smirking at them.

"It's about time, I was getting sick of all the eye-sex you two were having!" Chris went on. He held a hand up to PJ. "Peej?"

PJ sighed and rolled his eyes, pulling his wallet out of his back pocket.

"You were betting on us?!" Phil exclaimed, his grip on Dan loosening slightly.

"Oh, shit yeah," Chris replied with an evil grin as PJ put a note in his hand. "Peej didn't think you two would get your shit together until next time, so he just paid me twenty bucks."

Dan glanced at Phil, who raised his eyebrows at them. "Excuse me? You two beat around the bush for _years_ , not everyone's that dumb," he said.

PJ held up his hands in mock surrender, and Chris just put the money in his wallet. "Fucking _finally_ ," he said again.

"We get it, Chris," Phil sighed.

PJ raised an eyebrow at Dan. "What say you, Dan?" he asked, and Dan blinked in surprise.

"Yeah, you haven't said much at all," Chris said lightly.

Dan just groaned and leaned against Phil's chest, dropping his head against the taller boy's shoulder. Phil laughed and kissed the top of his head.

 

More surprises were yet to come, but not from Phil, and not even from Chris or PJ. Instead, it happened at school, when someone sat in the seat next to him.

Dan blinked up in surprise, just in time to see a curly-haired boy drop his head in his arms. "You alright?" Dan asked.

The boy groaned. "Could be better, could be worse," was the muffled reply, and Dan only knew one person with an Australian accent in their class.

"Troye, right?" Dan asked cautiously. The boy nodded. "Uh, are you okay?"

"I'm really frickin' annoyed," Troye replied, and ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "You mention you have a boyfriend one time, and they never look at you the same."

Dan felt both very awkward and very annoyed. "Uh, congratulations? On the boyfriend, I mean," he said shyly, subconsciously fixing his fringe.

Troye smiled at him. "Thanks," he said. "We've been going for a few months now. Three cheers for LDRs!" he said, mocking happiness.

Dan laughed. "I know the feeling," he said, and a surge of warmth and happiness filled him. He was so happy to be able to say that now.

Troye raised an eyebrow. "Really? Where's yours?" he asked.

"He's in Manchester," Dan replied, and Troye glared at him.

"Try Los Angeles," he said, and Dan stopped short.

"That's... a long way away," he said, playing with his fringe again. "I feel really lucky now."

"You are, dammit," Troye replied. He pulled out his phone and started tapping, looking around to make sure the teacher wasn't looking. "Meet Tyler," he said, a fond smile on his face.

Dan grinned at the picture of a smiling boy holding an arm out to the sunset behind him. He took out his own phone and pulled up a picture of Phil drinking a coffee in the little brown shop. They'd gone there again just before he, Chris and PJ had left to catch their train.

"He's kinda cute," Troye commented, raising an eyebrow. "When did this become a thing?"

Dan looked down. "Saturday," he admitted.

Troye punched his shoulder. "Hey, congratulations!"

"Thanks," Dan said, smiling at the picture of Phil looking adorably surprised to be having his photo taken.

 

For the first time in a long time, Dan was completely happy.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments and Kudos are always appreciated ^~^
> 
> Visit my Wattpad? Find me @Willow_Angel :D


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